Antidote: True Love
by SinfulSanctuary
Summary: Sequel to SCHP. Shira and Draco are together and happy, both aware that they might end it tomorrow. But by every tomorrow they're still together, but it's not all diamonds and roses when their feelings become too intense. Then there's the war...
1. Close

A/N

Here's finally the sequel to SCHP: Antidote: True Love. Thanks to pussykittyluvsshekats over at Quizilla for the title.

And thank you to everyone who rated, reviewed, left feedback of any kind about SCHP. I love you all so much, and I hope I haven't lost any readers with this long wait.

It's been a long road from the end of SCHP and to posting the first chapter of ATL. Lots of headaches, neck-aches, cursing and swearing and sweating, school, writer's block, but I hope it was worth the wait.

* * *

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was filled with frustrated students the early days of January. Whatever the teachers had been up to during the Christmas Holidays, it must have been good. Good for them, bad for the students. Most of the classes were taught with an enthusiasm rarely seen among the Hogwarts professors. And oddly enough, they enjoyed giving heavy loads of homework. It was a mad place, but someone who could care less about the extra work was Shira Lind.

She was in an unusually happy state. Finally back in school, long away from home where all she did was feel the unfriendly air from her parents. She had left so much tension behind, and should probably be a bit sorry for not clearing the air, but she wasn't. Barely a week before the holidays, Shira and Draco Malfoy became a couple, and Shira's parents didn't approve. Not because of blood or heritage or anything like that, Draco was a perfect match in that department, but because of safety reasons. They just couldn't see how Draco could be a fit protector for her in the magical war. And that killed a bit of Shira's elated mood.

Not that she needed someone to take care of her, oh no, but Delano and Ellyn Lind wanted to see their daughter being with someone that could provide her with more safety in the ongoing war. No one knew how long it would take for the Dark Lord to win, so until then, their precious daughter had to be safe. And it all fitted in with the plan they had with their daughter being engaged when her time at Hogwarts was over.

One thing, only one thing, could have kept Shira home. A few days before the end of the holidays, she found out that her father was going on a mission. It seemed to be a big mission, very important to the future of Lord Voldemort. It was so carefully planned and thought through that only the people doing the mission knew what was really happening. Independent cover-up stories had been made for each of the Death Eaters, and it was all very secret. All the planning and precautions put into it made it a bit scary for those poor people waiting at home and not being able to receive any news about anything. Not knowing whether their close ones were dead or if the mission was successful.

A horrible feeling struck Shira sometimes when thinking about it. So she would have liked to stay home with her mother, they could worry together. But going back to Hogwarts to be with Draco and her friends was more tempting seeing how the mood was at the mansion when she left.

At the moment she sat in Defence Against the Dark Arts class with Marieileen Storme, Pansy Parkinson, Theodore Nott and Draco. Every thought about what was going on outside of Hogwarts was gone, as she was concentrating hard on the new protection spell they were practising. It was an advanced version of the Shield Charm. She managed to get the barrier up, but it didn't protect at all, it just rippled for a couple of seconds and then poofed like a sloppy bubblegum balloon.

"Merlin!" she cried after another failed attempt. "I'm not going to bother anymore. If I ever find myself in a threatening situation, and my poor old Protego doesn't help, I'm just going to raise my hands and surrender like a bloody wimp."

"Want me to show you how to do it?" Pansy asked smirking from inside her own barrier, a strong silver tainted bubble.

"Oh, wipe that bloody smirk off your face, Parkinson," Shira said sourly. "I might use you as a human shield."

"Well, I _can_ perform the spell perfectly, so it'll save both our asses," she said proudly as she let the barrier fall. "But if you're mean to me, I won't let you inside my bubble."

Draco grimaced. "In a weird, and not good way, that sounded perverse." The two girls laughed at him and then the bell rang signalling the end of classes and dinner.

This was a Friday, two weeks into the new term. As they sat in the common room that evening Shira began thinking about the mission her father would be on at the moment. She couldn't grasp the whole thing, it was the soul-parting-thing that confused her. It seemed so big, and she was scared for her father's sake.

"What are you thinking about?" someone suddenly whispered in her ear.

Shira snapped back to reality and glanced at Draco sitting beside her with his arm around her shoulder. "Nothing," she said. "Nothing special."

Draco raised an eyebrow, but didn't ask more as a sound of smashing crystal and mad curses came from the table in front of them. Blaise and Theodore were playing Wizards Chess and one of Blaise's pieces had just been destroyed completely by one of Theodore's.

"That was unfair," Blaise cried out.

Theodore shrugged. "You play the game..."

"Bloody bastard," Blaise muttered angrily as he planned his next move.

Shira smiled at the two, and smiled even more as fingers lightly tickled her neck. The hand Draco held around her began playing with her neck and hair. She let out a soft giggle. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to get myself some Friday night action," he answered.

"As much as I would like to fulfil your wishes, I think there's something I want to ask you." She gazed questioningly up at him.

"Spill."

"Can we go somewhere else?"

Draco nodded and pulled her with him by the hand and towards the stairs to the boys' dorm, probably hoping he'll get his action afterwards.

"Where are you two going?" Marieileen asked with a playful twinkle in her eyes.

Shira just glared at her, while Draco of course smirked. But just before they disappeared from view up the stairs, Shira shook her head to Marieileen with a slight smile.

Draco closed the door behind him and they sat down on opposite sides on his bed. She sighed and wondered how she was going to ask this without being too obvious and without letting too much slip. She sent a Silencing Charm towards the door. "Uh, do you know what my father's doing right now?" she finally asked.

Draco raised an eyebrow. "Why would I know?" he asked back, but something in his voice told her he lied. She stared at him knowingly. He sighed before answering again. "I don't know exactly what he is doing, but I have a hunch."

"Thank you," Shira sighed happily. "Do you know if the others know?"

"No idea, I can't see why they _shouldn't_ know anything. I know, so I guess they do. We're all a part of this some way or another."

"I guess that makes sense," Shira sighed.

"Why do you ask about this anyway?"

Shira told him about what she overheard between her parents after she had gotten home from him on New Years Eve. "I'm so worried, you should have seen my father's eyes and heard his voice when he told me about it. And I really don't know anything. Do you know how frustrating that is when we all know what's coming very soon?"

Draco nodded. He understood, because he had been in the heart of everything just last year. And remembering what he went through, he could much better understand what it felt like to worry about someone on the very inside. But he knew what Delano was doing had to be done. After every blow from Potter's side the past years, it was about time the Dark Lord did something that would put him in the lead again.

"He has to do it," Draco said quietly.

Shira stared at him with wide eyes. "H-how... But..." she stuttered. Draco stared back at her, and she realised that he was right. Her father had to do it. The Dark Lord needed it. She let out a loud frustrated groan, which made Draco laugh at her.

"Shut up, Malfoy."

Still laughing, he inched forward and took her hands. "Will you let me take your mind off it?" he asked as he pulled her a bit closer.

Shira looked at him, wondering whether or not he deserved it for laughing at her. But how could she ever turn him down? She sighed and Draco smirked triumphantly and cast himself backwards, hauling Shira with him almost ripping off her arms. She landed hard on top of him and he forced her head down to meet his lips.

---

Once again Shira was standing in the hall at her manor surrounded by absolutely nothing, listening to a deafening silence. She stood completely still, not able to move. Her feet were like glued to the floor, and she wasn't even able to turn her head when she suddenly became aware of something.

There was something in the room that radiated feelings of doom, loneliness and sorrow. She wanted to see what it was, but couldn't move the tiniest inch. The feelings grew slowly stronger, and it surrounded Shira, hugged her and seeped into her.

She had no friends, no family, no enemies. A shiver of loneliness went through her body and tears pressed behind her eyes. The sorrow of the room crept into her. A great sorrow for being alone and loosing everyone she cared about. Then she let out a cry of hopelessness, only no sound left her lips, but a shrill scream was heard anyway.

It was when her arm automatically flipped out and hit something hard that made the sound go away that she realised the scream was from the magical alarm clock and that she had had a nightmare. She was breathing heavily, like she had run up and down the Quidditch bleachers all night. By every breath the dream slipped away and she was left with a bad feeling, like nightmares often do.

"Had a bad night?" someone asked peering through the drapes.

Shira looked around her bed for a moment, still not aware of anything around her. Then she saw Marieileen looking at her wide awake. "Uh, I don't know," she answered weakly. "What day is it?"

Marieileen stared at Shira with wide eyes. "Tuesday."

"Right," Shira answered. "Of course."

Since Marieileen thought she looked awfully disoriented she recited the calendar and geographical position. "It is eight o' clock, Tuesday morning, January 21st, 1998. You are currently sitting in a four poster bed in the seventh year girl dorm in Slytherin house, located in the dungeons under the lake connected to Hogwarts. We're somewhere in Scotland, on the island of Great Britain in Europe. Europe is a continent on Earth, and... And that's all I know."

Shira was glaring now. "Thank you, Marieileen. I really didn't know that."

"Happy to help," Marieileen said glaring back and disappearing behind the drapes.

The memory of the nightmare was now gone and all Shira could think about was breakfast, as she was starving. She came up into the Great Hall and found her seat next to Draco, who gave her a quick kiss that tasted like orange juice.

"Good morning, Lind," he said.

"Morning," she answered with a yawn digging into a bowl of porridge.

The post-owls came fluttering in through the windows and one of them flew elegantly down and landed in front of Shira. She glanced at the letter it was holding out, the first letter from Norway had arrived.

Shira had settled after her talk with Draco. It felt good now that she had talked to someone about it. For a week she had barely thought about it. She grabbed the letter and opened it and read through. It didn't tell her anything. But she thought it was funny to read it anyway, to read all about how her relatives were doing and how a distant cousin of her fathers were being very greedy about the entire thing going on over there. What made it even funnier was that Tom Lake stationed in Norway probably hadn't even met these people.

Shira chuckled a little when she folded up the letter and put it in her bag. Draco asked who it was from.

"Father, I suppose," she answered.

"What did it say?" he asked.

"Nothing special, just one of our relatives being greedy, wanting more than he is given from the will."

"Will?" Marieileen asked confused. Shira hadn't said anything to them about where her father supposedly was.

"I'll tell you later, when we're alone." She concentrated on her porridge again, receiving quizzical looks from Marieileen, Pansy and Blaise.

Draco watched her eat. He knew she hoped for some real news. Absentmindedly he put his hand on the small of her back and rubbed in small circles.

A small tingle went through Shira's spine. She looked up from her bowl at him, and he smiled. Shira was taken slightly off guard, but smiled back.

Draco kept his hand on her back throughout breakfast, occasionally rubbing it. Then the two of them parted with their friends and went to Transfiguration. They found themselves a seat in the back and both opened their books simultaneously and leaned back to wait for the class to start.

"You're looking more tired than usual," Draco commented eyeing Shira from the side as she yawned.

"Really? I vaguely remember having a bad dream, can't remember what it was."

Draco leaned closer to her. "We should find some kind of arrangement so I can make your nights more bearable," he said.

Shira raised an eyebrow, when Draco suddenly got an omniscient look on his face. "What?" Shira asked.

"Déjà vu."

For a moment she was lost, but when Draco raised an eyebrow very suggestively she slowly caught on. Unfortunately professor Tonks entered the classroom just then and she started talking right away about human transfigurations.

Before he decided to pay attention, Draco whispered in Shira's ear, tickling her skin with his breath. "I _really_ want to find some kind of arrangement so I can wear you out before you sleep."

"But I don't have problems sleeping," she whispered back staring at the black board.

"You will have, if I don't get my way."

Shira shook her head, but smiled nonetheless, wondering how he would pull it off. But as she had learned from their few weeks together, if Draco had any intentions of shagging her, he would most definitely find a way.

Professor Tonks dismissed the class by asking them to write a whole 15 feet long essay on the different theories of human transfiguration. As much as this was one of Shira's favourite subjects, homework like that could take the fun out of anything. Flitwick and Sprout gave their students almost as much to do, and by the time Shira plopped down on the couch in the common room for her free period, she just didn't have the motivation to get started on it.

Luckily, or maybe unluckily, she got to spend the entire evening doing homework. Draco's vague plan for the evening was spoiled when Urquhart reminded him of Quidditch practice just the last minute. As Shira sat in the common room ploughing through the mountain of books and notes her mind kept wandering off, thinking about what she could have been doing.

---

Saturday on the other hand, Draco managed to pull off his plan. He had tried the previous days, but Shira refused grudgingly, they had too much homework and she didn't want to risk missing the morning classes because she and Draco wouldn't find their way back to reality, which they probably wouldn't.

As Draco dragged Shira by the hand up flights of stairs and through halls, he thought of how much he was looking forward to this. He didn't know why it was supposed to make him feel so unusually happy, but it had occupied his mind since he first made the proposal and always brought an unnoticed smile to his face every time he thought about it. The entire thing gave him the same feeling he remembered having when he got picked for the Slytherin Quidditch team in their second year.

"Where are we going?" Shira asked panting slightly, demanding him to stop by pulling on his hand. He only slowed down.

"The only room worth being in, in this castle," he answered and sped up again.

They finally reached the seventh floor, and for Shira it looked like Draco didn't know where he was going because suddenly he stopped and stared at the empty wall next to a tapestry of dancing trolls.

"Uh, Draco?" Shira asked stepping closer to him, still holding his hand. "Are you lost?"

It took him a few seconds to answer, but then he shook his head. "No, we're here. I just..." He paused. "I haven't been near this hall since last year." His voice was low.

Shira glanced at the tapestry again, and then looked carefully at Draco. "Room of Requirement?" she whispered.

He nodded. "Took a lot out of me, that mission."

She squeezed his hand a bit, she didn't know what to say at that precise moment. But he shook out of it and let go of her and started walking back and forth concentrating. Suddenly Shira jumped as she saw a plain wooden door appear.

"After you," Draco said motioning for the door.

Tentatively Shira reached out to open the door. She wasn't sure what to expect from this room that supposedly changed at your wish and gave you anything you needed. Shira knew magic very well, and what it was capable of, but a room shouldn't do that. If so, she had to get one at home.

What she saw behind the door had to be a mix between the boys' dorm and Draco's bedroom. A four poster on the right, considerably larger than Draco's own, which was huge. Black leather couch in front of a lit fireplace on the left, straight from their favourite part of the common room. Everything was of course in dark wood and Slytherin green and gave off a drowsy warm and intimate feeling.

"What are you expecting us to do tonight?" Shira asked playfully as she stepped inside.

"Don't know," Draco answered and closed the door. "Practise defence? Doesn't that sound nice?"

"Extremelee-ee-eh." The end of the word was said in a stuttering sigh as Draco had stepped behind her to put feather light kisses on her neck. Whenever he did just that, Shira's mind went completely numb.

As he kept showering her neck and shoulders in warm kisses, he gently guided her to the black leather sofa. The kisses stopped as they sat down and Shira's neck felt cold despite the warmth from the fire.

"Don't stop," she whispered.

With a slight smirk he sat himself with his back against the arm of the couch and pulled her towards him, resuming the kissing of her neck. After a while, Shira turned around, laid her hands around his neck and torso and kissed his lips. She broke away for a second and he savoured her kiss, rising his body temperature at the taste and he opened his eyes to find her staring at him with a smile on her face.

"What?" he asked.

"I didn't know you do that, like girls do," she chuckled.

"Do what?"

"_Savour_ a kiss."

"I didn't savour the kiss." He pushed her away.

"Yes, you did." She smiled still. "It's cute."

Draco stared at her. _Cute?_ A slight irritation rose in him at that word.

"Come on," she said and leaned backwards inviting in nearer. "I'll give you something to savour."

He couldn't resist, and he moved quickly on top of her, pressing his body against her, feeling a warmth equal to his own radiating from her. He attacked her lips in an almost desperate hunger and she wrapped her arms and legs around him.

A while later they managed to stagger their way to the bed and continue their little adventure there.

---

Draco woke the next day by something tickling his nose. Groggily he opened his eyes to see a bundle of dark brown hair. Carefully he lifted the arm that didn't lie under her head and brushed the hair away. Behind the hair he found her soft pale cheek, pale lips and closed eyes. She looked so peaceful right now and he couldn't believe that this girl could hold all the temper and spirit she did.

And he could not believe what she was doing to him, mentally and physically.

Shira stirred and slowly opened her green eyes. Seeing Draco already awake and looking down at her, she smiled sleepily.

"Good morning," he said.

* * *

A/N

That was the first chapter! Hope it was okay! Please review, you know I love you:)


	2. Filthy Mudblood

Winter was keeping a firm grip on the world this year. There was no inkling of warmer weather, which was kind of unusual. In the end of January temperature dropped unimaginably further and snow began falling again. Occasionally a gleam of sun could be seen through the cold heavy clouds, but it was so cold that everyone sought the warm comfort of their common rooms, students was rarely seen outside except for classes that required them going outside the castle walls.

Shira trotted down the path to Care of Magical Creatures-class alone amongst the Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs and a few Ravenclaws. Again and again she had to remind herself why she was taking this stupid class. Every one of her friends dropped out after their O., she didn't like Hagrid one bit, wasn't on civil speaking terms with any of her class-mates, and at the moment she felt like she had icicles hanging from her nose.

"It's your possible future," she muttered to herself. "Think of all the fun things you can do in a few months. It's just a few months left. You are strong. You can do this. You are certainly better then them."

"Talking to yourself now, Lind?" an annoying voice said from behind her.

Shira turned angrily around and stared at the self-important face of Hermione Granger. "You again?" she answered unpleasantly. "Yes, I am talking to myself. Annoying you, Granger?"

"No, nothing you say or do can annoy me anymore."

Shira narrowed her eyes. "Good for you," she said sickeningly sweet.

With a huff, Granger changed her pace and hurried past Shira with Neville Longbottom trying to keep up. He passed Shira sending her a frightened look on the way.

Shira hoped Hagrid had some warm and fuzzy creature to show them, preferably someplace inside, but she was greatly disappointed. They were seated on benches, not magically heated, but at least free of snow. Hagrid began talking about and showing pictures of some highly dangerous carnivore from Scotland, saying how sad he was he couldn't get a hold of any. Shira didn't really pay attention, otherwise she probably would have said something of how bad a professor he was for not physically introducing them to a lethal monster. Instead she tried focusing on warm and happy thoughts in hopes of not freezing to death.

It wasn't working much, at least the warm part. But the other part...

Something was changing between her and Draco. _Something._ After that night in the Room of Requirement, Draco had become so... intense. Demanding her attention all the time, making it difficult to do homework or anything not involving him. He always had to be near her, which would normally be annoying. He tried to get in her knickers every chance he got, which was frustrating seeing as they indeed were at Hogwarts with all these other people and crazy teachers and caretakers and ghosts and whatnot. Draco was a master in firing her up, and then not being able to do anything about it... Very frustrating. Just thinking about it now made her feel very tense.

With a grunt Shira shifted on the bench and noticed that Hagrid was still going strong. He got worse and worse at teaching each bloody lesson.

How long _was_ this class?

Just a few minutes later Hagrid dismissed them and Shira started back to the castle, but Granger called her back. "Hey, Lind!"

"What?" Shira snapped and turned to face her and Longbottom, who looked, if possible, more scared than earlier.

"I just want to give you some advice," Granger said.

Shira raised her eyebrows and cracked a smile. "_You_ are giving _me_ advice? What could you possibly say that would be for my benefit?"

Granger shrugged. "Just thought I'd tell you that I think you should be careful nowadays. Maybe be careful who you spend time with."

With a blank stare, Shira shook her head as if throwing something off. Then she walked up close to the two Gryffindors. "Look, I need to let off some steam, and I was hoping I could do that with my boyfriend. So unless you two feel like being my hex-bunnies, I suggest you shut up and leave me alone."

Leaving them standing with a disgusted look, she hurried back to the castle through the heavy snow. Down in the dorm she dropped off her bag and managed to find the time to change into some warm clothes that had been hanging near the fireplace in the dorm. On her way to dinner she ran into Draco and made it very clear to him how frustrated she was. All he did was laugh.

---

The next day Shira and Draco found their usual seats at the back of the Transfiguration-classroom. It was nice to share a class without their friends around, and with Tonks never really caring what they did as long as they didn't disturb anyone, it was close to a free period. Without the quietness of the library or the comfiness of the common room of course. And the real free period never increased the pile of homework at the end.

"We should find a man for Pansy," Shira whispered as she scribbled down parts of what Tonks was saying.

"Why?" Draco asked. "Is she getting lovesick again?"

Valentine wasn't far away, and Pansy was a huge fan of the holiday. As was Daphne Greengrass, so Shira and the remaining girls sharing dorm with the two had learned to dread every valentine Pansy and Daphne spent single.

"Yeah, I think I recognize a few of the symptoms," she answered gloomily.

Draco chuckled silently, not even trying to feel sorry for his girlfriend. But he stopped when Granger turned her head with a scowl. He glared back before she turned her gaze to Shira and put on that annoyingly smug expression.

"Merlin," Shira whispered.

"What?"

"She's been going at me for a week now. It's really annoying."

"What's she been doing?"

"I don't know, I really don't understand any of it. I _think_ she is trying to make me scared of her. It's not working. I'll tell you the details later."

Draco gazed over at Granger. "Filthy mudblood," he whispered.

"Mr. Malfoy," Professor Tonks said suddenly. "Did you have anything to say?"

He looked up. "No, professor," he said with a sneer.

"Good," she turned to the blackboard and pointed with her wand. "Now, about this incantation, I want you all to practice on it 'till Friday. I want everyone to perform it perfectly. Class dismissed."

Granger and Weasley passed Draco and Shira on the way out, and again Shira was on the receiving end of their annoyingly smug expressions.

"I swear I am going to kill them," she whispered through gritted teeth to Draco.

"I support you one hundred and ten percent. See you at lunch." He kissed her and reluctantly they went separate ways. Shira to Herbology, with both Pansy and Daphne. She was not looking forward to it.

Professor Sprout made them plant some new herbs she had gotten hold of. It was a rare herb, which they were reminded of every five minutes. Other than that, the conversation between the three Slytherin girls circled around Valentine's Day.

"I am so glad the next Hogsmeade visit's not that weekend this year," Daphne sighed. "There's not one guy left in this castle worth going with."

"I know," Pansy agreed.

"What's the big deal anyway?" Shira asked, brushing dirt off her cloak. "It's just a one-day-holiday. And there's no rule saying you _have_ to have a date and do something awfully romantic."

"You just don't care anymore, because you have a sure date no matter what you need it for," Daphne said sounding a bit jealous.

"Right, like he cares about doing something special that day anyway."

"You never know," Pansy said. "He seems to show more potential now. Back in fifth year when he took me to Hogsmeade on Valentine's Day, all he wanted to do was hang out in that Quidditch shop."

"I'd have killed him," Daphne said.

"That right there _really_ inspires romance, Daphne," Shira said.

Pansy sighed. "Every girl needs her fair share of romance, and it's been too long." Then she suddenly cried out. The handful of herbs she was potting had exploded. She was covered in lime green puss, and it smelt horrible.

Professor Sprout hurried over and mumbled some spells that cleaned Pansy up. "Did you hold it by its roots?"

Pansy nodded.

"I hope the rest of you will keep in mind not to hold it by its roots, now? If that had been a fully grown herb and the puss had come in contact with Miss Parkinson's skin, she could have grown antlers. And they are very difficult to remove."

An alarmed look was plastered on Pansy's face on their way into the Great Hall and lunch. "That bloody class is dangerous," she complained. "How would I have gotten a date for Valentine's if I looked like a retarded squid?"

"Wouldn't that inspire to some original date-activities?" Shira joked. Pansy pushed her hard and she bumped into a tiny Hufflepuff. "Boo," she said casually and the kid ran off.

"I can't understand what's so scary about you," Pansy said. They had split with Daphne, who went off to sit with Millicent and few other girls, while Shira and Pansy found Marieileen and Blaise.

"I am plenty of scary," Shira said offended.

"No, you're not," Marieileen said. "Scary in the what's-wrong-with-your-mental-health way sometimes, but that's only slightly worrying."

"Draco not here yet?" Shira changed the subject looking around the hall. "There he is!" She smiled as he sauntered over, dropped his bag and sat down next to her.

"I bumped into Weaslebe right outside," he grunted.

"What was he up to?"

"The same as Granger I suppose. But he also said that I was digging myself a deeper grave by being with you."

"What did you say to that?"

"I didn't say anything, I wanted to punch his face in, but," he stopped to think, "I just inflated his lips a little. Less painful, but _much_ more humiliating."

Shira looked over at the Gryffindor table, as did the three others who had been listening in. Sure enough, there sat Weasley with tremendously huge lips, it was a wonder he could breathe, it looked like they were blocking his nose. Every Gryffindor was staring at him as Granger poked him with her wand trying to undo it.

They all laughed, and Shira turned to Draco and gave him a big kiss. "You're brilliant!"

"I know," he replied cockily, but felt a little flushed from the kiss. Quite unusual for him. It was like she lit a torch in his stomach every time she kissed him nowadays. And the torch grew each time. It was odd, but felt nice.

He bent down to her ear. "We should do something tonight," he whispered.

Shira almost choked, although she should be used to his behaviour by now. "If we have time, sure," she whispered back.

"Homework can wait," he concluded and helped himself with lunch. "And don't you have a free period before dinner?" he said trying to sound like he was unaffected by the thought of future prospects before starting to eat.

---

As usual, there wasn't any particular private time for Shira and Draco that evening, or the next days. Draco said he'd take her to the Room of Requirement again, but he didn't want to do it so often. He knew from experience the room wasn't as safe as it seemed. Uninvited people _could_ find it when in use, he'd done it.

To add on the frustration Shira was going through, Granger, and some times one of the Weasley's, would send her triumphant glares or odd comments. If she didn't want to finish school with her friends or put herself and her family in danger she'd kill the remaining trio and their buddies on the spot.

Last time they had had an encounter was when Shira was in the library Friday night trying to check up on some facts on a Herbology essay. She was sitting quietly by herself at a table between the shelves when suddenly Granger walked by with a bunch of books in her arms. Shira glanced at her, and when Granger saw who sat there, she turned and walked over to the table. For a few seconds she just stood there until Shira decided to look up again. Then Granger had sat down opposite of her.

_"How's your family?" she asked in a whisper._

_"It's none of your business really, but they're absolutely fabulous," Shira answered, and added in a very friendly voice: "Thank you for asking."_

_"Are you sure?" she asked incisively and leaned forward pushing her books aside. "I mean, have you heard from all of them lately?"_

_"What the hell are you implying, _mudblood_?"_

_Granger leaned back again. "Oh, nothing. Nothing at all. I just find it kind of strange that you say they both are 'absolutely fabulous', when I've heard differently. Oh well, they're your parents, I guess you know best."_

And with that she had left. Shira wanted to scream after her, but conveniently enough Madam Pince walked by that exact moment. Maybe they were in a conspiracy together?

The moment Shira came back to the common room she wrote a letter to her mother. Screw the secrecy, she thought. She just had to know if her mother had heard some real news from her father.

Draco had asked what she was writing so furiously about, and she told him about what Granger had said. For a few seconds it looked like he was about to blow up the school, and then asked to see the letter, which he didn't approve of after reading through it. But she needed to know, so he helped her write a new letter.

The next day, there was supposed to be the first Quidditch match of the new season, but it was cancelled because of the snow and the lack of training everyone had gotten because of the difficult weather. Instead Shira and her friends hung out in the common room doing homework.

"I'm getting really sick of this weather," Draco complained staring out of the window at the endless flow of snow blocking the view.

"Then do something about it," Shira mumbled from behind her book, not really sure what she just commented on.

"You do something about it," he grumbled.

"What?" Shira looked up this time.

"Can't we go outside, you and me?" Draco asked and rolled up his parchment.

"And do what exactly, at this hour? In case you haven't noticed, it's deadly cold out there."

"I'm sure we'll find ways to keep warm." He was breathing down her neck now, carefully taking in her scent and trying to seduce her. With a sigh Shira let her book fall into her lap.

"Draco," she said warningly. "I need to finish this chapter."

"Finish it later," he whispered.

A discreet cough was heard, and then a giggle. They both looked up and saw that Blaise looked disgusted, but slightly amused, and Marieileen was smiling.

"Fine," Draco mumbled with a pout, unrolled his parchment and dipped his quill.

"Oh, cheer up," Shira said and grabbed his head to kiss him. It took him by surprise and by the time he was about to kiss back, she broke it to continue reading her chapter.

The rest of the evening he sat very close, rested his hand on seemingly innocent places, but of course they sent warm sparks throughout Shira's body. So by the time they went to bed Shira was so glad for the opportunity to take a nice cold shower. Coming out of the bathroom in her pyjamas, she fell down on the bed. Draco would be the death of her one day.

It sounded like everyone was asleep, but Marieileen came over and sat down next to Shira. "I see you and Draco are doing great?"

"I guess so, if you can call sexual frustration great," Shira sighed.

Marieileen chuckled. "I see..."

"But I am really surprised you know, I didn't have much faith in us, neither did he, but here we are."

"He had to surprise us one day..." Marieileen stared at the blanket for a couple of minutes in thought. "I talked to Pansy just now, while you were in the shower. She's probably the one that knows Draco best, apart from you, and she is surprised by the way he is around you."

Shira felt her heart beat a little faster. "What do you mean?"

"Nothing, just that he seems so, what was her word? Devoted? Yeah, I think that was it. You should ask her."

Shira's heart beat even faster and she smiled slightly.

"You're really deep into it aren't you?" Marieileen smiled. Shira shrugged, but it was written all over her face that Marieileen was right.

---

Like a blink of an eye the weather changed. Sunday evening it was just below freezing point and Monday morning came with promises of sun. The ceiling in the Great Hall showed blue skies and occasional clouds crossing. Though no one dared believe that this would last, some tried to leave their scarves and hats behind.

But Shira played it safe, she had no intentions in becoming as sick as she was in November. Marieileen probably scared any future illnesses away from Shira then anyway by forcing her to the hospital wing. Where she lied the entire night in a bed next to Draco, who was there for a Quidditch injury at the time. Had someone told her then where she'd be now, in the case of Draco Malfoy, she would have laughed it off and called them insane.

She didn't talk to Pansy about what Marieileen told her, but she thought about it almost all the time. And it took a part of the frustration away too. Sure Draco knew exactly how to fire her up, but she felt there was more to them than that. There would always be time to get physical.

During the week, the snow slowly melted away and students could be seen peeking outside between classes. The general mood around the castle seemed to brighten and the Quidditch practices began again. New matches were scheduled, the first would be in just a few weeks.

"Oh, it's Valentine's Day tomorrow!" someone squealed and woke Shira up Thursday morning. She grumbled and turned around, but more chattering made her open her eyes.

"Would you shut up!" Shira yelled gruffly from under the covers.

"It's time you get your ass out of bed now anyway, so I won't shut up," Pansy said cheerily.

"Please kill me, and resurrect me on Saturday," Shira muttered and grudgingly stood up and found her way to the, luckily, empty bathroom and shower.

As she stood there letting the lukewarm water rinse her body, a horrible thought struck her. She had Herbology with Pansy and Daphne first thing.

But in Herbology Shira hardly noticed what Pansy and Daphne talked about. Granger, Weasley and Longbottom kept sending each other odd looks, and Granger and Weasley sometimes had heated whispering discussions. It wasn't really that strange, those two had some discussions from time to time, probably about Weasley's stupidity and lack of sexual creativity. But Shira swore she heard her name at least once. She absentmindedly did her duties in class, and professor Sprout saw with concern how her student handled the precious plants.

After they were dismissed Shira went straight to the common room where she found a seat to wait for Draco and their free period together. All kinds of thoughts went through her mind, and a headache began to form.

"Hey," Draco suddenly said and sat down next to her. Before she had time to say hi back he had pulled her into his lap and crashed his lips upon hers, needy and hungry. There was immediate response and soon both were lost in each other. Shira's headache disappeared and she moved so she sat straddling him. A guttural sound came from him as she deepened the kiss.

A few people came in, but they hardly glanced at the couple on the couch by the fire. They had had no choice but to get used to this since they got together. Sure, there had always been couples making out from time to time in the common room, half of them Draco with some girl. But there had never been so much as now, and Draco's blonde head was very often seen behind a mass of long brown hair, always the same long brown hair.

Suddenly Shira threw her head back and took a deep breath. She looked down at Draco and saw she had pulled away in just the right second. Lust was lit in his eyes and he looked rather flushed. And Shira was sure he saw exactly the same in her.

With a sigh she found her seat again and leaned back trying to shake off the excitement. And the Herbology-class came to mind.

"Hey, Draco," she said. "Granger and Weasley talked about me in Herbology."

"So?" he answered.

"So?" She sat up straight. "Don't you think it's weird, on top of everything Granger's put me through the last... three weeks?"

"Don't you think you're bringing too much into this?"

Shira sent him a glare. "It's your funeral when the holy Gryffindorks kill your girlfriend."

"I'd say that's your funeral," Draco smiled.

"Come on, I'm serious here!"

"I am serious," he smiled again. "You think they're going to kill you?"

"No, they wouldn't dare, but they're up to something, and I don't like it. I think they know something I don't."

"What would that be?"

Shira shrugged, feeling helpless. "I can't stop thinking about what Granger said in the library."

"And you haven't gotten an answer?"

She shook her head.

"She'll write back, and you'll see everything is just fine. _Absolutely fabulous_ as you told the damn mudblood." He pulled her to him, and she leaned her head on his chest.

"I like it when you say mudblood," she muttered. "Say it again."

He leaned down and whispered in her ear. "Mudblood."

"Like you mean it."

He smirked and repeated in a vicious voice that Shira heard in her ears and felt through his chest. "_Filthy little mudblood_."

---

Just like Draco said Shira got a letter from her mother the next morning. It wasn't very informative, but at least Ellyn was fine and she _said_ Delano was fine too. She hadn't heard anything specific, and took that as a good sign.

This made Shira walk with her head just a little higher when the Gryffindors were around. They kept up their arrogant ways, but Shira smiled it off. So Granger walked out of Transfiguration looking like someone stole Christmas. This made Shira feel like Christmas came very early.

During lunch, Pansy was depressed, she just sat poking her toast. It was clear she really wanted someone to spend the day with. She hadn't received a card or anything. Shira and Marieileen silently agreed on making her one in Potions and put it on her bed after classes.

But during dinner, and before Pansy had been in the dorm to see the card from her friends, an owl flew in and delivered one for her. She blushed all over, but eagerly opened it and blushed even more.

"Who's it from?" Marieileen asked.

"I don't know," Pansy answered. "It only says F at the bottom."

"You don't know anyone whose name starts with an F," Shira said.

Pansy shrugged and carefully put the card in her bag with a smile.

"Have you got any plans for today?" Shira asked Marieileen.

Marieileen glanced at Blaise. "I don't know, he hasn't said anything," she said loud enough to make a point to Blaise, but he ignored it. "What about you two?"

"No," Shira said. "Not that I know of."

"Well then, happy Valentine's Day, Shira." Marieileen raised her goblet, and Shira raised hers.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Storme." With a loud noise their goblets met and they downed the contents.

After a while the Great Hall began to empty, Draco made no attempts to move, so he and Shira sat there nibbling at the rest of the food and talking. They were the only ones left apart from a Ravenclaw and a couple of Hufflepuffs when Draco thought it be time to head back. Hand in hand they took their time walking down to the dungeons. Walked up a couple of stairs first and avoided every short cut and took the longest route they could find.

Rounding a corner they bumped into Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley.

"Well well, look who's here," Draco said. "Out for a romantic walk?"

"Malfoy, Lind," Granger greeted them coldly, and then she turned a piercing gaze at Shira. "Do you really have the guts to walk around alone with _him_ nowadays?" She nodded harshly in Draco's direction.

Draco shuffled next to Shira, but she only laughed. "You won't believe what I dare do alone with him."

A disgusted look flashed over Weasley and Granger's faces. "I told you you should be more careful, especially now that we know who you really are."

"You know who I really am? I doubt it, _mudblood_."

Weasley stepped forward at the sound of 'mudblood'. "We know more about you than you think!" There was a slight triumph in his voice.

"And it's all being confirmed as you mingle so tightly with _his_ sort," Granger added.

"Don't you dare insult us, Granger," Draco said angrily standing straighter, boosting himself up.

"You don't scare us, Malfoy," Weasley said with an uncharacteristic smirk. "Not now."

Shira raised an eyebrow. Something lit up inside of her, something she didn't like. She tried to repress it in fear of what it might be, but Granger opened her mouth again.

"This fake façade of yours is about to fall, Lind. And we'll be there to watch you fall."

Shira reached for her wand. "Be careful what comes out when you open that filthy mouth of yours, Granger. I wouldn't mind hexing you right now."

Granger talked on like Shira hadn't spoken. "Did you really think you could fool everyone until the end? There's always that one side that never makes it, that _never_ survives. You've picked the wrong one, and now you're going to get what you deserve."

Shira quickly drew her wand and pointed it straight at Granger's face. Weasley drew his wand too, and Shira could feel Draco reaching for his. "I don't know what the hell you're up to mudblood, but I don't care. _Densaugeo!_"

The very moment Shira shouted the spell, Granger cast a non-verbal protection charm. The spell bounced off and Shira and Draco ducked just in time. At the same time Weasley sent a spell towards the two, but Draco jumped away and pulled Shira with him. Both of them sent a stunner at the Gryffindors, but missed. Just as all four were about to curse each other again, they were frozen and pulled apart by invisible hands.

"What on earth is going on here?" Professor Moody stepped between them waving his wand.

No one answered.

"Now, please, don't speak all at once," he said sarcastically. "20 points from each of you and detention in my office after dinner on Monday."

It looked like Granger was about to speak, probably to talk herself out of trouble, but Moody unfroze them and she stumbled. "Now go to your common rooms and stay there, it's getting late."


	3. Gone Wrong

"This sucks," Shira muttered angrily, then almost bit her tongue off in pain. She was sitting in the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom with Draco, Granger and Weasley. They were serving their detention for the fight they had gotten in last Friday. Professor Moody made them sit still in their own corner of the room. If they made a sound or any movement other than breathing or adjusting, a light shock like electricity went through them. For three hours they had to sit there in silence. They weren't even allowed to do homework.

He's bloody sadistic, that crazy old fool, she thought and stared sourly at the old wizard by the front desk. His magical eye swivelling around disgustingly as the normal one was focused on the newspaper he was reading.

Shira dared to move her head just a tiny inch to the left and let her eyes almost run around in their sockets to see Draco and how he was doing. No shocks went through her body, but she couldn't see him. It hurt too much to move her eyes that much.

With a silent sigh she glared at the back head of Weasley again.

He makes me see red, she thought and chuckled at her own incredibly dry joke, which made another shock of electricity go through her. In her head she swore indecencies, but relaxed and closed her eyes to let out the nasty sights of Weasley and the professor.

Draco was deep in thought. Thoughts of quite a different calibre than Shira. He was thinking mostly of her. This had to be the only time he could sit in complete silence and just think. During the day he was always with someone, and at night the snores of his dorm-mates annoyed him, and he fell asleep to drown out the sounds.

Draco was raking his brain to figure out what it could be that the Order knew and they didn't. It must be something with Mr. Lind and the business he was doing now. But how on earth could the _bloody saints_ know about that?

He noticed that he got angrier and angrier, and had to restrain himself to not move or make a sound.

He had to figure it out though, for Shira. He wanted to find out everything, absolutely everything, about what Mr. Lind's mission was _all_ about, what the holy twosome and friends knew and what their role really was in this whole stupid ordeal. And then he wanted to tell her all of it, so she could stop worrying so much. She shouldn't worry.

Although he didn't show it much, he worried when she worried.

Merlin, what was happening to him? All his life all he had worried about was himself. Last year he had learned that he really loved his mother and father, worried about them. Now Shira was slowly digging her way into his soul. Digging with claws that refused to let go no matter how hard he tried to keep an emotional distance. It was very hard to keep his hands off her.

A deep sigh slipped over his lips before he could stop it, and then the shock shot through him, causing a moan of pain. Which made another shock go through him, but this time he bit on his tongue to keep quiet.

---

After what felt like days, Moody dismissed then. But he told them to come back on the same time on Friday.

"You never said anything about a second detention!" Shira couldn't restrain herself.

"I didn't say anything that would be only this one either," professor Moody replied unpleasantly. "But mind your speech, Miss Lind, or I might add to _your_ punishment."

She only nodded before Draco turned her around and pushed her out. "Merlin," she whispered when they were down the hall. But then Draco stopped and motioned for her to be quiet. She stared questioningly at him, but then she heard.

Just a few feet away, around the turning in front of them Weasley and Granger were having a heated discussion again.

"I couldn't help it, Ronald," Granger hissed. "You of all people should understand that!"

"What are you going to do if someone in the Order finds out what we duelled about?" Weasley hissed back.

"They won't," Granger's voice was uncharacteristically harsh.

"You're lucky Moody didn't ask any questions. But knowing him, he probably already knows."

"No one needs to know that I wanted to scare that little bitch. And it's not like I was lying either."

Shira's eyes narrowed where she stood just around the turn, Draco eyeing her reactions as he listened.

"It was foolish of you, Hermione."

"She deserved it, Ronald. I hope Malfoy dumps her when she finds out about it all. Then she wouldn't have anyone left."

Shira grabbed her wand and made to run and curse them senseless, but Draco held her back. "No," he said, a bit louder than intended.

The two Gryffindors must have heard, because they heard Weasley mutter something sounding like "let's go" and they walked quickly away.

In Draco's hands Shira was shaking with rage. She whispered a long tirade of words that would probably have her expelled if someone heard. Draco took her hand, and side by side they walked down to the dungeons.

"How was detention?" Blaise asked as they found all of their friends sitting by the fire in the common room.

"None of your bloody business, you stupid git!" Shira snapped.

Blaise looked deeply offended, but didn't understand the look in Shira's eyes. "Excuse me then, is it that time of the month or something?"

"Blaise!" Marieileen breathed horrified. Then she studied Shira for a few seconds. "What's wrong?"

"Granger! Granger is what's wrong! That presumptuous little mudblood! I should chop off her head and hang it over Weasley's bed! Or even better, hang both of their heads in my room so I can spit on them whenever I want instead of getting a bloody stupid detention with an absolutely sadistic and mental professor!"

The entire common room was quiet after Shira's outburst. Marieileen had leaned back, like Shira's words had blown her back. Blaise, Pansy and Theodore stared almost frightened at her.

Draco glared around the room and made everyone else continue with their own business. Gently he laid his hand on her hand, she jumped, but didn't push it away like he was afraid she would do. She was still seething, but took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," she said calmly. "She's just really gotten on my nerves lately, and today was the last drop." Then she added through gritted teeth: "But I really want to chop both their heads off."

"We'll help you," Pansy felt brave enough to say.

Shira had to smile at this.

"Want to tell us what happened?" Marieileen asked carefully.

Shira was about to answer when a yawn cut her off. "I'll leave that to Draco," she said. "I think I'll go to sleep early, I have too much on my mind." She kissed Draco goodnight and nodded to her friends.

As she climbed the stairs, Draco followed her with his gaze. She hadn't kissed him like she used to, it had felt so cold and emotionless.

No one was in the dorm when Shira entered. Apathetically she wandered over to her bed and sat down. It was hard to admit to herself what she did now, but it was true. Granger had managed to scare Shira. Of course she wouldn't let anyone know that, but the tone Granger had spoken in scared her more than anything she had ever known. And what was worse, was that Granger didn't think Shira heard it, it wasn't meant for her ears. Granger hadn't tried to scare her.

With a feeling like her heart tore in half, Shira thought about Draco. She suddenly realised she couldn't handle him leaving her. They both always said that nothing was carved in stone yet, but Shira found herself almost scared to death about loosing Draco. And that was not supposed to happen.

But she would never let him know that though. Ever.

Maybe.

Now she really did feel tired, so she went and took a warm shower and fell asleep almost before her head hit the pillow.

---

The next day, Draco noticed that her kisses were back to normal. This was a huge relief to him, because the one last night had him worried. It had only taken a second for him to see a connection between that and Granger's little outburst to her traitor-boyfriend.

Merlin, if he ever got the chance, he would kill them both. Slowly and painfully.

"It's Hogsmeade this weekend," Pansy announced as she pushed away her plate, done with breakfast.

"Oh yeah," Draco muttered smiling as a couple of owls came swooping towards them, one landing in front of him holding a rather official looking letter with what looked like a falcon on the emblem sealing the envelope.

"I guess it's too much to hope for that we'll meet Marcus there," Shira continued. "Busy with his Quidditch team, and all that _Potter_ business." She spat angrily saying 'Potter'.

Then she saw Draco's eyes suddenly widen to the size of planets, quickly scanning the letter again.

"Speaking of Marcus," Marieileen said with her eyes just as wide as Draco's.

Shira looked at the two and taking the letter Draco passed her. She read through it quickly, it wasn't that long.

_Dear Mr. Draco Malfoy_

_The Falmouth Falcons Quidditch Team would like to invite you to a tryout for the position of Seeker. Several of the team's original players have been chosen to play for the British Quidditch Team, and we are aware of your talent and would be happy to see you at the official tryouts March 28__th__ to 30__th__. If you could please send your reply back to us within three days and you will receive further information about time and place if you accept the invitation._

_Captain and Chaser Marcus Flint_

"Wow, Draco!" she said and hugged her boyfriend.

"I know," he said smiling broadly.

"You're accepting, right?"

"Of course I am, I'd be a fool to let this slip away, and I'm no fool. Did you get it too?" he asked Marieileen.

"Yeah, and I almost can't believe it!" A look of true happiness was spread across her face. "Seeker?"

"Of course. Chaser?"

She nodded.

"Guess you really impressed Marcus during Christmas then," Blaise said to his girlfriend. "Made him realise there's more to you than just a pretty face on my arm."

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" The happiness was almost gone from her face now.

"Nothing, I was just joking," Blaise smirked, and Marieileen hit him playfully.

"I knew you'd be getting an invitation," Shira told Draco. "Marcus did hint about it once."

"He did?" Draco couldn't believe he'd missed that.

"Yeah, during our Christmas party."

"I don't remember that," Draco said as he tried to remember. "But that doesn't matter, because now I'm going to be a professional Quidditch-player."

"You're not guaranteed the spot you know, just because you know the captain," Shira joked.

"Oh, but I am. Of course it's not bad that I know the captain and is dating his third cousin, but I _am_ the best seeker in the world. End of story." With a smirk worthy of a medal, he fished out a piece of parchment from his bag and quickly wrote down the reply.

"What if I badmouth you to Marcus?"

"Then you won't be enjoying me trying to collect some good luck from you before games." With a flourish he signed the parchment and folded it up.

"Oh, what a threat, you know just as well as I that no one can you give you so much luck like I can. Besides, I thought you were the best seeker in the world. Guess you don't need any luck."

A harsh sound came from deep in Draco's throat, Shira wasn't sure what it meant, but guessed it couldn't be anything bad as he suddenly kissed her quickly, but intensely. One of those kisses that sent busy sparks all around her body and made her skin seem like it was on fire, everything pulsating with energy. Something she was getting used to, feeling like that and not being able to do much about it.

"Let's go to Potions then," Draco said like nothing happened and went quickly out of the Great Hall.

"Now that was just evil," Shira whispered to him as she caught up, having managed to calm her body down some. "Free period after Potions, you know what you have to do."

"It would be my pleasure."

---

Draco couldn't almost stop talking about the chance to play for the Falmouth Falcons. And when he talked about he made it seem like he was already on the team. From time to time Shira reminded him that he had to actually _try out_ first. It didn't matter if he'd probably outplay everyone trying for the position of Seeker, there had to be a chance for everyone else also. That was just the way it is.

But it was good that the winter finally let go of its hold, because that meant that Draco and Marieileen could practise much more. There was usually a team-practise twice a week for the Slytherin Quidditch team, but Marieileen dragged Draco outside available moment in between. He said that he didn't need practise, but went along anyway.

Up in the bleachers, in one of those that had some kind of roof over them, sat Shira, Pansy and Blaise whenever their two friends wanted to fly. A few Drying Charms and Warming Charms made it comfortable to sit, and they took the opportunity to do homework.

"I would have never thought," Blaise said quietly three days after Marcus' letter had arrived.

"What?" Pansy asked.

"A girl playing Quidditch, it's _bloody hot_!"

"Really?" Shira said in mock disbelief.

"Don't you start," he said harshly before she could say anything else and let his gaze follow Marieileen's green clad figure around the pitch.

"It's nice to hear that a guy has finally realised why girls like Quidditch in the first place," Pansy said. "Because we sure don't come up here in all kinds of weather to watch 14 people throw quaffles through holes and send bludgers at each other hoping one from the other team gets hit in the head and dies. It is, as much as I hate inflating your egos, because of the way boys look straddling that broom and flying like he's got the Ministry after him."

"Hear hear!" Shira called out raising her quill as if to salute someone.

Draco flew by at that moment, chasing the Snitch, and glanced at her. She flashed a smirk to let him know exactly what Pansy had just said. Of course he really didn't have any idea.

After two hours, Draco felt it was enough workout for the day. He couldn't be tired and worn-out for the detention they were having the next day. Shira hurried to pack her stuff when she saw him descended and headed for the changing rooms. She was hoping to get some private time with her boyfriend. He still hadn't made up for what he did to her on Monday. Or any day before that.

"I wish Pothead could be here to see a real Seeker in action," Draco greeted Shira a bit sourly as she closed the door behind her.

"Hello to you too, Malfoy." She strode right up to him with a smirk. "If you are as good as you keep saying, why do you have to practise so much? I miss you in the common room."

"Maintenance, Shira, it's all maintenance. I don't want to loose any advantage."

"You certainly look good out there though." She smirked and hoped he would see what she was hinting at. And he did, because he suddenly turned her around and blocked her against the wall.

"How would you like getting dirty with a professional Quidditch player, Lind?" he said seductively, his eyes piercing.

"How many times do I have to remind you, Malfoy? You're not on the team yet."

"You're really risking your luck with me saying that all the time."

"It's not luck, we both know you can't resist me no matter what, Draco."

With a groan of defeat he closed the little distance left between them and locked his lips with hers. Shira was suddenly taken back to the memories of their first kiss. He had been in his Quidditch robes then too, but on his way back to the dorm to shower. That was good memories.

"Hey!" someone suddenly said opening the door.

Draco and Shira broke the kiss and glared at the person entering, it was Marieileen.

"Take those activities to a locked and silenced classroom, I'm still enjoying the fact that I can shower in the changing rooms," she said.

"You're going to be in the girls' shower, you won't even notice we're here," Draco said stubbornly.

"Maybe so, but I'll _know_." She smirked a little, obviously loving to ruin her friends' moment. Then she twirled around and headed for the door leading to the girls' showers.

"Fine," Shira muttered and gave Draco a final kiss. "If we are still together this summer, you won't have any time for Quidditch, because you'll be working on making up for everything we've missed these months."

"Not my fault," he said jokingly.

"I know, but still..." With a wink she left.

---

It was time for detention again after dinner the next day. Shira had mixed feelings about it, she could handle the barbaric punishment of sitting completely still for three hours, but if she had to stare at Weasley's head again, or Granger's for that matter, she didn't know what she would do.

"Come on, Draco, finish your damn pudding." She kept nudging him and nagging about him being such a slow eater while watching for Granger and Weasley. "We have to get there early."

"Why?" Marieileen asked.

"I want to sit at the front of the classroom, _in front_ of mudblood and friend."

"Fine, let's go," Draco finally said and pushed away his plate. "Better to get it over with as soon as possible anyway."

In the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom Moody was waiting for them. But when Shira sauntered over to one of the front desks, he put his revolting eye on her and ordered her to the same seat as last time.

Muttering angrily to herself Shira walked back, sat down and squeezed her eyes shut. She reasoned with herself that she would rather hurt for three hours than be blind for the rest of her life.

---

The detention went fine, all four students came out without any injuries, physical or mental. All though Shira kept saying that she would be forever damaged from the awful thought of knowing she saw Weasley whenever she wanted to open her eyes.

But all that was forgotten as soon as she set foot on the other side of the gate into Hogsmeade Saturday morning. At first she was elated at the thought of spending the day in Hogsmeade, but the closer they got to the village, the stranger everything seemed.

Marieileen, Blaise, Pansy, Draco and Shira walked down this time, because the weather allowed it. But they soon slowed their steps and sent each other quizzical looks. Right at the first shop they stopped.

"What's going on here?" Draco asked no one in particular.

Everything was silent. The village was full of people as usual, but they were all silent. Some people were running between the shops, stealing worried glances over their shoulders as if they didn't dare slow down out in the open.

They began walking again. As they past a couple whispering excitedly, Shira caught six words. "He-who-must-not-be-named". She gasped.

"What?" Draco asked. They had all stopped.

Shira pursed her lips together dramatically and thought for a moment before speaking. "Something's horribly wrong."

"You think?" Pansy said sarcastically and got a mad glare in return.

"We can't talk here," Shira whispered feverishly. "_He-who-must-not-be-named._"

"Back in the common room?" Marieileen suggested. "It'd be empty now. First years and such can be scared away."

"It would be too obvious if we just scurried away, we have to stay for a little while," Draco said.

"Let's just go to Three Broomsticks, then," Marieileen said.

Shira tried to stay calm, but couldn't help but think about the only thing the Dark Lord was doing at the moment, or having her father leading the team doing it. It couldn't be that, could it? Of course not, the Dark Lord could do several things at the time. He was a great wizard, of course he could handle several things at one time.

Draco noticed Shira's inner turmoil as they sat in a booth in Three Broomstick, sipping Butterbeer. "Are you all right?" he whispered barely audible in her ear.

She shook her head and grabbed his hand under the table, holding on tight. With a painful yet sweet tug in his stomach, Draco closed his hand around hers and let her squeeze as tight as she wanted.

An hour later they found their spot around the fire in the common room. It was almost empty, a couple of second years who was chased out by Draco. Shira swore she saw tears in their eyes.

"Shouldn't Theodore be here for this?" Blaise asked as silence surrounded them.

"He's been drifting away again, since those two happened," Marieileen said and pointed at Shira and Draco, then added sourly: "Let him bloody drift."

"So what do you think this is about?" Pansy asked Shira. "You clearly know more than us."

"I don't think I do."

None of them gave away anything. Merlin, Shira thought.

"My father, doing something for the Dark Lord, right now. Granger taunting me for something. Bloody hell."

"You think something has gone wrong?" Blaise asked.

Shira glared at the three of them.

"Come on, guys, don't upset her anymore than she already is," Draco said calmly. That line earned him surprised looks from his friends, but he either didn't notice or didn't care.

"I just wanted to know if she thought something was wrong!"

"Everything's bloody awesome, don't you see me dancing on the table?" Shira yelled at him. Then she stood up and stormed up to her dorm. Draco went after her, and somehow managed to fool the stairs.

He carefully opened the door and stepped through. Shira was sitting on her bed with an envelope in one hand and a small piece of parchment in the other. As Draco walked closer, she looked up at him with big eyes.

"What does she say?" he asked and sat down beside her, knowing the note was from her mother. She passed him the parchment and stared into her lap.

_It didn't work out. Our friend on the other side was wronged, we've all been wronged. It is mayhem here, but I think he has a plan to make it right._

* * *

A/N

Oooooo. It would be nice with a rating and/or a review:)


	4. Vulnerable

_It didn't work out. Our friend on the other side was wronged, we've all been wronged. It is mayhem here, but I think he has a plan to make it right._

Draco read through the note again. His mind didn't want to realise what it meant. Everything kept fogging up, but when Shira spoke it cleared everything up.

"What does she mean by 'mayhem'?"

"The Dark Lord's probably furious, but it's not your father's fault. He probably did everything he could. If the Dark Lord could handle the outcome of my mission, he can certainly handle this."

She took the note from him and stared at it, willing it to reveal more.

"Besides," Draco continued. "If he has a plan already, it must be all right."

"I really hope so," Shira sighed trembling. "But don't you think my mother would have said more specifically that everything was fine if it was? I mean, it's not like she couldn't write 'your father is fine'."

"The note seems rather hurried to me, maybe she was so relieved that he made it back that she didn't think clearly when writing to you. Perhaps she was just in a hurry to give you _some_ kind of message."

"Maybe you're right..." And she breathed out in relief.

But it was clear to Draco that Shira wasn't the least bit relieved. So he did the only thing he could think of and pulled her towards him. Wrapped his arms securely around her, held her tight and let his hand go in slow circles on her back. Eventually she sighed in true relief.

This gave the boy an entire new feeling. He supposed it must be what it felt like to be needed, it wasn't so bad. A sudden urge of wanting Shira to rely on only _him_ in moments like these flowed through his body, but was gone before he could recognise it fully.

None of them knew how long they had been sitting still like that when Draco broke the silence. "You know, I've never been in the girls' dorm before," he said taking in the environment.

Shira huffed in complete disbelief.

"It's true! Wouldn't you have seen me if I was up here?"

"There are six other dorms, Draco."

"Well, this is still the first time." He sounded amused. "It's messier than I thought."

Shira pulled away from him looking puzzled. "How did you get up here anyway? Did someone levitate you up?"

"Oh please, like I would allow myself to be levitated, Merlin knows what they would do to me on the way up. I don't know how I made it up, the stairs is probably confused from that hideous fifth year, what's her name, Marcy or whatever."

"That was mean."

"But it's true, she looks like a boy."

"Maybe it thought you were a girl." Shira smirked.

"Oh, I'm as male as they come." He forced his voice a lot deeper than normal.

"You certainly are," was her reply before she leaned against him again. "I don't know what I would have done without you, Draco," she whispered barely audible.

Draco stiffened for a second. But before he could respond in any way the door opened and in came Daphne and Millicent. The Hogsmeade trip was obviously over.

"Malfoy!" Millicent said surprised. "What are... How did you get up here?"

Daphne had more sense of the situation and spoke before anyone could answer. "Is everything okay?"

"It will be," Shira answered with a slight smile. "We'd better get back downstairs," she said to Draco.

They nodded to the two girls and went out into the hall. Draco stopped at the top of the stairs and carefully put a foot on the first step. It immediately turned into a slide.

"Guess we'll have to slide down then," he said as he sat down and pushed forward.

---

Shira didn't receive any more letters or notes from home, or anywhere else, the next week. But The Daily Prophet had things to say about the matter of things. Of course it didn't know the real story, but it was clear to everyone that something wasn't right among the Death Eaters. They weren't out on their usual raids, kept themselves hidden as much as they could. They all seemed a bit nervous in fact.

Article after article threw around crazy theories and rumours. _He-who-must-not-be-named has been victim to a horrible accident: Several eye witnesses claim to have seen He-who-must-not-be-named hit by the Knight Bus last night..._ That was an article fit for the Quibbler. _The Ministry of Magic's elite Aurors fear that the Death Eaters have had a magical accident experiencing with new Memory Charms. Rumour has it that the charms backfired, and the Death Eaters are now more dangerous than ever._ Like they were stupid enough to make a mistake like that. But the silliest of all the articles was the one about the Dark Lord being defeated and not by the hands of Harry Potter, but as an accident made by his own men.

Shira didn't worry so much, even though she hadn't heard anything directly from the sources. She figured that if something was really wrong, she would have been told. And if something big had been happening, something that she should watch out for, the Headmistress and the Ministry would most likely go out of their way to secure and warn the precious students.

Granger didn't even bother her much anymore. Of course the mudblood put on an air of arrogance worthy of a Slytherin every time Shira was near, but she kept her mouth shut. Shira was happy about that, although a tiny spike in the back of her head still held the memory of Granger wanting Draco to break up with her. That little spike of a thought kept nagging Shira from time to time, and her body always answered with a wave of warm feelings for the boy, and then a wave of fear of loosing him.

Those feelings flushed over her at the present moment. The two of them were sitting away from everyone else in the common room doing their homework. Shira had convinced Draco to skip Quidditch practice with Marieileen that evening. She gazed over at him, her heart beating faster at the sight.

Shira had redefined her feelings for him the last week. All because of moments like this. When they would just sit and do homework, or talk. At one time he had taken her to the Room of Requirement again, into the same interior as last time. They spent the day and night there, and Shira was showered with questions from her roommates about her whereabouts the previous night. She could tell her friends many things, but what happened was only between her and Draco. It was nothing particularly interesting or unusual, but it had been a wonderful time. Being in that room brought back old memories for Draco, and he had shared with her some of the thoughts and feelings about the mission the Dark Lord had assigned him last year. About how he was honoured by the mission, but found it difficult and had been scared almost out of his wits for his family. Without saying so to the other, both felt they had gotten closer to each other on a whole new level.

Draco suddenly looked up at her. "What?" he softly asked pulling her back to the present in the common room.

"Nothing," she said with a smile.

A smile crept over his lips too, like he knew what she had been thinking of. He leaned forward and gave her a quick kiss, feeling the warmth from her linger on his lips for a few seconds.

"What are you planning to do during the Easter holiday?" she asked, deciding to give up homework for the evening.

He shrugged. "Practise Quidditch perhaps." A playful gleam in his eyes told her he was joking. Well, a little at least.

"Would your mother complain if I came over every day?" she asked with the same playful gleam.

"The opposite, I think. She keeps asking how things are going with us in all those letters I get."

"And what do you tell her?"

"That we shag in between classes, that we've been caught five times and that I've gotten you pregnant three times."

A slight blush crept over Shira's face at the thought of him getting her pregnant. "Seriously," she demanded.

He sighed. "The truth. That we're getting along fine."

Shira stared at him for a few seconds. She had expected and hoped for a more informative answer. Draco stared back, his expression blank. Just when he returned to his parchment did a flash of emotion reach his eyes. Shira couldn't tell what it was.

---

Three days later it was time to leave for the Easter holidays. Shira was looking forward to spending the week like she had spent Christmas, being at Draco's as often as she could. But during breakfast that morning an owl came for her. Once again from her mother, but this time telling her that she couldn't come home. Her father was obviously too busy, and her mother had to work with him. They wouldn't be available, and they made it very clear that she was to _stay firmly at Hogwarts_. Reading between the lines: _No running off to stay at the Malfoys, Narcissa shouldn't be bothered with another mouth to feed_.

"Bloody hell!" Shira called out and crushed the letter in her hands. Draco and the rest of her friends looked questioningly at her. "They're out working or something. And I am not allowed to come home."

"Come home with me then," Marieileen suggested.

"And be left alone whenever you and Blaise decide to enjoy yourselves? I have picked up on a thing or two about your plans, so no thank you."

"Stay with Draco then," Blaise said.

"And make my parents even more opposed to our relationship?"

"Now you're just being difficult," Pansy reasoned. "Draco will of course be staying here with you so you don't have to be alone."

"Mother wants me home," Draco said distantly. "We're going to Azkaban to visit father."

"You're not staying in Azkaban the entire week!" Marieileen said.

"But we're going on Monday and mother's never herself after a visit there. If Shira could, I would take her with me."

Shira sighed dramatically, as if she had just been handed a death sentence. "Guess I'll be all right here alone. Got to be another lonely Slytherin I can hang with."

Draco leaned in and whispered so no one could hear. "I'll talk to mother first thing."

A great smile erupted on Shira's face, and it wasn't unseen by the others. Marieileen, who knew Shira best, frowned for a moment before it dawned on her what really lay behind the smile.

---

Most of the students at Hogwarts stayed in school during the Easter holiday, to use the time to study for the ever closing exams. But Shira and her friends, most of the students in Slytherin really, went home. Shira had never stayed behind before, so she felt quite lonely.

She took her time walking from the Entrance Hall to the common room after saying goodbye to everyone. She felt a bit angry, it wasn't like her parents to just cut her off like that. They could have made arrangements with aunt Lillian and uncle Morel, Marcus' parents. They weren't exactly Shira's aunt and uncle, Morel was Ellyn's cousin. But they were so close that Shira had always called them aunt and uncle, just like Marcus called Ellyn and Delano the same. Shira was sure Lillian and Morel would have been thrilled to have her, they even lived close by her own house, which meant close to her friends. That was a plus.

Perhaps she could write them?

No. Shira wanted to brood. She was still angry at her parents for not accepting Draco, and they had done nothing to make things better with her. She wanted to be stubborn now.

The common room looked so empty. She glanced at the magical clock over the door. The train would have left by now, but Draco wouldn't see his mother before the evening. Shira decided to dedicate the waiting time to homework, buried herself in it to make time go. But by bedtime there was no owl from Draco.

Breakfast in the Great Hall the next morning was almost like normal. The three other house tables was almost full, a few gaps here and there. The Slytherin table was close to deserted though, a few students scattered around the table, none of which Shira had any contact with. She had no plans to make new friends now, so she sat by herself and dreaded the rest of the week.

Halfway through her second bowl of porridge, the post came. An eagle owl soared gracefully down towards her and landed neatly between the bowl and the goblet of pumpkin juice. Shira recognized it as the one that usually brought Draco his mail and eagerly unfastened the letter from the bird's leg. And for a moment she just stared at the envelope where her name was written in Draco's handwriting.

Her heart beat a tiny bit faster, and with a sigh she realised she missed him already. During their three months as a couple she had quickly gotten used to being with him every day. "Now, that's just pathetic," she whispered to herself and opened the letter.

_Shira_

_I asked mother the moment I met her at King's Cross, and she almost had a fit at me for not taking you with me. So you're welcome to stay. Ask McGonagall to Floo from her office. Come any time you like, but I'd prefer if you came straight away..._

_Draco_

Shira didn't waste any time. She stroked the owl lightly and told it to fly home. Then she went up to the teacher's table and asked McGonagall if she could use her Floo. When that was settled she almost ran to the dorms to pack lightly. An hour later she sat foot in the elegant hall of Malfoy Manor.

"Ah, Shira!" someone said entering the hall.

"Mrs. Malfoy," Shira greeted with a smile. "Thank you for letting me stay here."

"No problem at all!" Mrs. Malfoy surprised Shira with a hug. "And please call me Narcissa, no need for formalities when we're so close to being family!"

Shira was even more surprised and could only nod in answer.

"Oh, it will be so lovely having another female in the house, if only for a short time. I just wish Draco would have been more of a gentleman and taken you along with him yesterday."

"He was just thinking of you, Narcissa, and if you wanted a troublesome girlfriend spending day and night here."

"Troublesome," Narcissa huffed. "Not at all. Now come along, I believe Draco's waiting for you. And you can leave your bag for the house elves."

Narcissa led Shira into the sitting room she knew well from Christmas. There Draco sat in an armchair reading what looked like their Transfiguration textbook.

"Draco, look who's here," his mother said in a sing-song-voice, almost pushing Shira ahead of her.

Draco smiled widely, and Shira saw lots of promises for the upcoming week in that smile. She sat down next to him, and Narcissa sat in a chair across the marble table, but she had decorum enough to leave after a couple of minutes. Her attempts of conversation met a dead end in short answers, and she understood that the two kids wanted some time alone.

The moment the door closed behind his mother, Draco pulled Shira to him and smothered her with kisses. His hands were all over her back and inside her shirt. She somehow expected him to be like this, but it still took her by such a surprise that she didn't have time to respond properly before he leaned back and pulled his face into full concentration. One moment Shira looked at Draco's face, then the world faded from her eyes and the next moment she found herself in his bedroom.

"This is going to be a great week," he murmured into her lips as his hands feverishly ripped off her clothes. Shira only groaned excitedly in reply when they reached the bed and she fell down with Draco on top.

---

The next morning Shira woke up to someone gently shaking her. For a moment she didn't know where she was, but then she gazed tiredly up into Draco's blue eyes. He was fully dressed in fancy robes and his hair was perfectly done, reflecting the morning sun shining through the windows.

"Good luck today," she groggily whispered.

He smiled weakly. "Thanks. Are you going to be alright here alone? Because I'm not sure when we'll be home."

"I'll be fine."

"I ordered the house elves to do whatever you want them to."

"Excellent, I'll work them extra if I'm bored."

Draco smirked. "Good, I'm off then." He leaned down and gave Shira a warm kiss before Disapparating.

Shira was fully awake now, despite the early hours. But instead of getting up and order the house elves to make her breakfast, she lay put in Draco's bed for a while. Narcissa had arranged for Shira to have the guestroom in the end of the same hall as Draco's, but they both fell asleep in his bed. The king size bed in the guest bedroom would probably not be used this week.

Like a cat full on cream, Shira curled herself up in the silky blankets. The bed hadn't been used often the last seven years, and was probably changed very often, but Draco's smell was still there. Masculine. Arousing. Intoxicating.

The smell of him, the feeling of his sheets under her, remembering those cold blue eyes waking her, it made a new feeling rise in Shira. A feeling of painful happiness that made her blood pump hard and loud. It became difficult to breathe and it was like a white-hot knife tore through her.

It took Shira several minutes to calm down after that revelation. Although she had known it for a short while, it was never really clear to her until now.

The day went by somehow, she spent most of the time doing homework in that sitting room she knew so well. It was well past dinner-time when Draco and Narcissa returned. They both looked tired, and Narcissa had traces of tears on her cheeks.

"How did it go?" Shira asked gently. She joined the two in the dining room where a couple of house elves served reheated dinner.

"It went fine," Narcissa answered with a cracking voice. She forced it steady before continuing. "Lucius is very happy about your union." She motioned for the young couple.

"Seem like he's the only one," Shira muttered and didn't think anyone heard her.

"I am happy too, Shira."

"Well, that makes two."

"Delano and Ellyn still aren't approving?"

"I haven't really talked to them about it since Christmas," Shira shrugged. "But they haven't mentioned it, and they made it quite clear that I wasn't to intrude on your hospitality when they said I couldn't come home."

Narcissa was quiet for a moment, and then shoved her half empty plate away. "I'm sure they'll see reason soon."

Shira just nodded, a bit depressed.

"I'm tired, think I'm off to bed," Draco announced and stood up. "You coming too?" he asked Shira.

"Yeah," she muttered and both Apparated upstairs to Draco's room. He lit up the fire and laid down on the bed sighing sadly.

"How did it _really_ go in Azkaban?" Shira asked and laid down beside him.

"Not well. Father said he had heard rumours."

"Rumours?" she asked softly when he didn't say more.

"That the Ministry is slowly gaining control over the Dementors and that they will order a Kiss on my father when they have full control."

Shira gasped and rolled over to her side. Supporting herself on her elbow she gazed down at Draco. The control he usually had over his emotions was gone now and he looked pained. Shira felt another wave of painful happiness from seeing how he clearly trusted her.

"I've never seen mother so upset, I don't think I have ever seen her cry either," he said after a while. "She was so devastated when father was first put in there. And now the thought of him living on as an empty body... I don't know how she'll carry on if father gets The Kiss."

"She'll have you."

"Like I'm so much to stay behind for," he said angrily through gritted teeth. "Couldn't even do the task the Dark Lord gave me properly. I screwed up and now Snape can't show his face in public, mother is forever associated with a failure of a son, I can't get father out of prison..." He closed his eyes and added sadly: "And I can't get approval from your parents because of how I failed."

Where did all this come from?

She knew it was no good to deny everything he had said. Tell him that he wasn't a failure. That he had done the task as good as he could. That no one should have asked him to kill Dumbledore before he had some more serious experience. That Shira didn't care anymore about her parents' approval, to hell with them, she wanted him and no one could make her feel or do otherwise.

Instead of saying anything, Shira bent down and kissed him softly. But he reacted and forced her lips harder on his, kissing her with fever, almost like he wanted to suck the life out of her. His arms held her body as close to him as possible and her head was held down by one of his hands.

Eventually he let her go, both breathing heavily. "Let's just sleep," he said.

Shira made to step out of the bed, but he grabbed her arm forcefully and pulled her back down. "No, you're not leaving me," he said harshly. He tried to act possessive, but Shira saw right through it, he was scared.

"I was just off to get changed, but if you really want to sleep in that, it's fine by me." She pointed at the fancy clothes he still wore.

With a smile that didn't reach his eyes, Draco stood up. Shira hurried over to her room to change, or discard what she wore. When she came back Draco was already in bed. She climbed in beside him and laid her head on his shoulders and her arm across his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled up the cover.

Draco had surprised Shira more that short evening than anyone could manage in a lifetime. He had not acted like his old arrogant self. He had been insecure and vulnerable, something Shira never had imagined. And she knew she had been unfair, everyone had moments of vulnerability. And now he had trusted Shira enough to let her see him like that.

This made Shira do the thing she'd never imagine herself doing. She was very close to falling asleep now and felt careless.

She took a deep breath. Bent her head slightly. Kissed his shoulder lightly. "I love you, Draco," she whispered.

Draco tensed up. Then he sighed, but Shira couldn't tell if it was of happiness or hopelessness.

* * *

A/N

This chapter has given me so much trouble! I knew what was going to happen, but not how. And then there was this trip to London (Sectus, London, the book and the movie, fantastic). But in London I discussed the chapter with my friends, and Marion and Ann-Marie helped me a lot. But then I got sick, was finally getting somewhere with the chapter and almost done and I got sick. Fever and all that hell. The chapter was delayed by a week!

At around middle of this chapter I began writing it in two different ways. And I did not ever think I would end up with this particular direction, but this one had more story to it, and I really hope it wasn't so cliche? I'm not even so sure how Easter is at Hogwarts. The Lexicon said that they have a week off... So, was it good? Not too much of a cliche?


	5. War, Headaches and a Lover's Quarrel

Shira felt a little bit depressed. She didn't know why, because every time she thought about it, she reasoned everything into something not worth being depressed about. He just wasn't there yet. Right?

A few days ago Shira had done the one thing she never believed she would do, she told Draco that she loved him. In a moment where Draco was vulnerable, she had confessed her feelings in hopes of cheering him up and make him confess his own feelings. And hopefully claim their relationship as something long lasting. Because, by Merlin, she couldn't handle loosing him.

But he hadn't said it back. All she had gotten in response was a sigh she couldn't interpret. And shortly after he had fallen asleep. At least he hadn't pushed her away. On the contrary, hadn't he hugged her just a tiny bit tighter? Shira wanted to think so.

She was still at Malfoy Manor. Narcissa had recovered quickly from the visit to Azkaban. In spite of what Draco said about her, she was her old self the next day and kept saying how wonderful it was with a female presence around. Draco still seemed to be unhappy at times. If it was because of the rumours his father talked about or something else, Shira couldn't tell. He was the same on the outside, but Shira had now come to recognize his true mood, and could easily sense changes in them. Now he was slightly unhappy.

One thing she couldn't sense was his feelings for her. She never had been able to. This was now frustrating her. What did he really feel about her? She knew from the time before they got together that he was certainly very interested in her. She knew he found her attractive and was turned on by her. He clearly trusted her too. But that was it. And he had never actually _told_ her anything.

When Shira's thoughts began to circle around this topic, she always thought in the end that he might just not be ready yet. She took comfort in that, even though she had been sure he loved her too after that evening. But since he didn't send her back to Hogwarts, still wanted to her to share his bed, and still wanted to be with her every night, she told herself he wasn't ready. And he was Draco Malfoy, what did she really expect?

Shira sighed. She was in one of the study rooms of the manor doing holiday homework. Draco was outside practising his precious Quidditch. She could see the field from the window and had been gazing out there for a while.

"Is something wrong, Shira?" someone asked.

Shira slowly turned her head around to the doorway, Narcissa stood there. "You look troubled," she said and entered and sat down.

"I am? It's nothing. I guess I'm just tired," Shira answered and closed the open school books.

Narcissa wasn't satisfied with Shira's answer. "Is everything alright between you and Draco?"

Shira stared at the woman in front of her. How could she know something was troubling her? "Yes," she dragged out the answer, "everything is fine."

Narcissa still didn't seem satisfied, but tried a different approach. "I don't know what you have done with him, Shira, but this week, seeing him with you, it's like he's a different boy."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know, he seems happier, and softer, I think. It's so nice to finally see that back in him. So thank you."

Shira didn't know what to say. "You're welcome, I guess."

Then Narcissa laughed. "I just mean that I'm thankful that you bring out all the good sides in him. That summer evening before your sixth year, when he got his mission, he changed. Closed himself up more than usual, he seemed to become harder. And that's not a good thing if you want to be successful as a Death Eater. I've seen too many hardened men go down because of that. If you harden too much, you become irresponsible and act invincible. You're practically signing your own death certificate. Thanks to you, the old Draco is back. And you make him happy. You don't know how thankful I am for that."

Shira nodded that she understood. "I can imagine," she spoke barely audible.

After a few seconds of silence, Narcissa spoke again. "I don't know you that well yet, Shira, but I'm not mistaking when I say he makes you very happy too?"

Shira sighed slowly, and a small smile crossed her lips. She took her time answering. "He does."

Narcissa looked at Shira with a concerned look. "Whatever it is, you will work it out."

Shira and Draco went back to Hogwarts by Floo Sunday evening. There had come an urgent owl from the school the day before, asking everyone who were connected to the network to Floo back. Apparently the Hogwarts Express wasn't available that day. So Narcissa had sent them off in a hurry, saying, with a meaningful glance at Shira, that she had something important to do. Shira didn't understand what she meant by that, but wasn't given any time to ask.

As the two entered the common room, Shira was attacked by Marieileen.

"Shira! There you are!" she almost screamed. "We were worried when we couldn't find you anywhere!"

"Well, Narcissa was so nice that she let me come. So someone _does_ care about me." Shira acted hurt.

"Why didn't you write me about it?"

"Why didn't you write me and ask how I was doing here all by myself?"

Marieileen had the sense to blush at that. "I was busy," she almost whispered.

"Yeah, I bet you were," Shira laughed.

A few minutes later Pansy arrived, and not long after Slytherin house was full again. It felt good for Shira to be back there. Even though the previous week had been good, it sure had complicated things. But Hogwarts always meant back to normal and nothing to worry about. Well, most of the time.

---

Hogwarts wasn't the same. That was clear from the first class Monday morning. Slughorn was very nervous all through Potions. It seemed like his confidence was gone, he was pale and were sweating more than usual. When he entered the classroom he bumped into desks and tipped over a rack of empty vials. So he made them do the basics of a Blood-Replenishing Potion, it was fairly easy and he could let the students go at it without much help. He even added a comment about St. Mungo's could use the extra potions.

Shira and Draco worked together on their potions. They weren't really supposed to help each other like that, but Slughorn was so absentminded he didn't notice. His entire class could probably walk out without him noticing.

"What's wrong with him?" Shira whispered as she prepared some of the ingredients for them both.

"I don't know," Draco whispered back. "I can't believe he's supposed to be a Slytherin. Right now he acts more like a Hufflepuff."

Shira sniggered.

In silence the two of them worked effectively together, never in the way of the other, helping each other where needed and soon Shira was a few steps ahead of Draco and at a point where her potion needed to simmer for a few minutes, with clockwise stirs every 30 seconds. Draco was busy with a difficult part of the process and Shira was afraid to disturb him. With a sigh, she reached 30 in her counting, and stirred two wide circles in her cauldron.

"1. 2. 3. 4..." she whispered to herself.

After Potions, Shira and Draco had a free period. The common room was strangely quiet. They hadn't gotten much homework yet, in fact, Slughorn had forgot to say anything about next class, nothing about what they should read, not even anything about what he wanted them to do with their Blood-Replenishing Potion. So, as usual, Draco wanted to spend the hour and a half making out. Shira did not object to that, hoping that in the heat of passion Draco would let something, _anything_, slip.

His hands were all over, holding her tight, touching her, caressing her. Shira gave all of herself, and laid all her feelings in her kisses. But all the sound that slipped out of Draco was his deep moans.

Rest of the classes that day also had a strange air about them. Moody was stressed, and hurried out almost before he announced that class was over. Hagrid let his class do supervised self-studying, and Shira noticed that he was in deep conversation with Granger and Longbottom.

Then, in the middle of dinner, McGonagall stood up and demanded silence.

"There are a few things the staff and I need to inform you of. Circumstances have forced us to do so." She paused for a few seconds. "We are at war."

Gasps and murmurs erupted through the Great Hall. Shira turned around to her friends and they all looked at each other. All though they were all glad something big was finally happening, they were nervous about the outcome and scared for their families. Some were deeper involved than others.

McGonagall raised her hands and the room fell silent. It seemed like the title of Headmistress had automatically given her the authority Dumbledore once had. "_You-know-who_ made his first move this weekend and the entire magical world is now officially at war. I must admit that we were all taken by surprise at first, we did not expect anything yet. But the Ministry and all the Aurors our world can come up with is at the ready. There is nothing to fear at Hogwarts, if we all take precautions.

"All owl deliveries, in or out, will be thoroughly checked and tested. So _all_ owls comes to the staff first, we search through them, with discretion for personal content of course. And then the owls will be forwarded to you, or whoever you send to.

"All Quidditch practises will be supervised by madam Hooch and professor Tonks. There will be no training outside scheduled hours for your house team.

"All Hogsmeade trips for the rest of the year are cancelled. We don't want to risk anything happening while you are there, and we have seen before that we are extra vulnerable for attacks there.

"And I would advice you all to stay inside the castle at all times. Care of Magical Creatures will be moved to classroom number three here on the ground floor. Herbology will be limited to Greenhouse 1. There is no particular restriction yet about not being out on the grounds between and after classes, but as I said, I advice you all to stay inside."

She paused again, letting everyone take it in.

Draco grabbed a hold of Shira's hand under the table and squeezed. She knew he was just as excited and nervous as her about the war. This could be it, this could finally be the end of Potter and the beginning of a new and better time for the magical world.

"And lastly a change to the Defence Against the Dark Arts classes. You might have already noticed that professor Moody isn't with us tonight. He has been called in by the Auror Headquarters to join them in the battle. I will take the class in his place. Any questions?"

No one said anything, they just stared at each other.

"Very well. A list of every new rule is appearing on the notice board of every common room as I speak. Hogwarts is still safe, probably safer than it has ever been. As long as everyone is careful, there is nothing to fear. Your Head of House will be with you this evening to answer any questions. You can carry on with your dinner." McGonagall sat down again and began talking with professor Sinistra as if everything was normal.

Draco nudged Shira in the side and nodded his head in the direction of the two Weasleys and Granger at the Gryffindor table. While everyone else looked surprised and scared, the three of them seemed indifferent.

A cold hand wrapped around Shira's heart, and vague memories of a dream about the hall of her manor came to mind. Her breathing quickened and terror was written all over her face.

"What's wrong?" Marieileen asked from the other side of the table.

"N-nothing," she stuttered back. Draco quickly turned his attention back to his girlfriend. And like he always did to comfort her in public, he took her hand. Her breath hitched, and then she pulled her hand briskly away. "I'm going back to the common room."

What Draco had just done, almost robbed Shira of her Slytherin pride.

---

The next two days went by in the same fashion as Monday. All the professors were agitated and pressed the students on the new list of precautions set in for the war. It really didn't feel any different to Shira, it was all pretty much the same, just like any other winter at school. Except then they didn't want to go outside, now they weren't allowed. Draco took that precaution pretty hard, because it meant that he couldn't practise all the Quidditch he wanted to. He was also afraid that he wouldn't be allowed to attend the tryouts. He and Marieileen were discussing this during their free period on Wednesday.

"This is my only chance to prove myself in Quidditch!" Marieileen said. "Just because my own house don't accept girls on their team," she stared angrily at Draco, "I have no experience to boast about to a professional team."

"Hey, it's not my fault," Draco defended himself. "If I was ever made captain, things might have been different."

Shira couldn't help but snort.

"Problem?" Draco asked.

"No no, I just find it hard to believe that you would let girls onto the team."

"If they had the talent, I would have let them."

Shira was struggling not to laugh. "Whatever you say, Draco."

"That really doesn't matter now, Draco, what are we going to do about the tryouts?" Marieileen interrupted the two.

"I don't know," he answered. "I think we have to ask McGonagall."

Shira tuned out the conversation and turned to Blaise instead. "What are we going to do about them?"

"I don't know, Shira, I don't know." He sighed sadly. "I feel like the woman in this relationship."

Shira chuckled. "What do you say we _women_ go to do some actual work at the library?"

"Sounds like the smartest thing you have ever said."

They stood up, Shira linked her arm with his and they walked out the door. Just before the door closed behind them, Draco cast a glance in their direction, his eyes narrow with jealousy.

---

Later that evening Shira and Draco sat at what was turning out to be their regular alone spot in the common room. It was by the stairs up to the girls' dorm, and the staircase worked as a divider from the rest of the room. They were both studying, none of the seventh years had time for much else these days.

"Did you ask McGonagall about the tryouts today?" Shira asked.

"Yes," Draco answered smiling. "She said it was okay. As long as madam Hooch comes with us."

"I guess nothing else could be expected, nowadays."

"I guess not." He turned back to his book. But then he glanced up. "So, what did you and Blaise do at the library today?" He tried to look and sound casual.

"We worked on the Charms homework," Shira answered just as casual. She could tell that Draco was jealous.

"You worked on it together?"

"After a while yes. I had a few problems with it and he helped me. I never knew Blaise was so good in Charms. He was very helpful with everything."

Draco mumbled something incoherent and turned back to the book. Shira could easily have put a stop to his jealousy, but it was fun to see Draco squirm a little. But when she a minute later looked at him and saw he hadn't moved his eyes from the same spot on the page, she had to ask.

"Are you jealous?"

"What?" he snapped and almost dropped everything in his hands. "No!"

Shira smiled playfully. "Yes, you are. Why?"

"If you needed help you could have come to me."

"I could, but you were busy talking sports with my best friend." She sighed. "Who also could have helped me, but I was left with her boyfriend thanks to Quidditch. And I'm kind of glad that I was, I realised I don't know Blaise as that good. And I understand Marieileen's choice even better now."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing, except that I am happy for her and Blaise."

She could almost hear him growl angrily. "You still should have let me help you."

Shira looked thoughtfully at Draco for a second. "Are you sure that's the only reason? Me not going to you for help? It's not a good reason."

"What other reason would there be?"

"I don't know, you tell me."

He mumbled something incoherent.

"Oh stop fussing about it." She leaned forward and whispered: "You know I love you."

Draco leaned forward to, kissed her, and then went back to reading. While Shira was left confused again. She sighed quietly. A strange feeling had enveloped her lately, like a heavy stone lay in the pit of her stomach, and each time she said that particular thing to Draco it felt like the stone grew. With another sad sigh she surrendered to her notes and inwardly cursing herself for ever voicing her true feelings. The Slytherin in her should have known better.

---

The next morning found Shira strangely quiet and apathetic. Her mind was so distant that professor Sprout, who usually didn't mind so much, gave her several warnings to pay attention. Pansy tried to ask what the matter was, but she only got grunts and shrugs in return.

Free period with Draco was interesting. He tried to get her to come with him up to his dorm, but she sat persistent on the couch with the Herbology book refusing to do anything fun. Sprout had her read up on what she clearly hadn't learned in class. Draco eventually gave up his attempts to have his way with her and sat a little frustrated next to her just staring in the fire. He didn't feel like doing any homework at the moment. There was only one thing he wanted to do, and he wasn't allowed.

"Are you mad at me?" he suddenly asked in a kind of epiphany. "For what we talked about yesterday?"

"No, I wouldn't be mad about something like that."

"Then why aren't we up in my bed right now?" There was a hint of hurt in his voice that was surprising. "The dorm is empty and no one will be up there until after lunch. This is one of the few opportunities we have in this miserable place. I didn't think you'd ever turn down a go with me like that. Now tell me what I have to do, because I really want you right now." He sounded almost desperate, and that was not something often heard in his voice.

"Sometimes school comes first."

"Clearly, since you've gone and gotten yourself more homework," he muttered with his arms crossed and lips pouting like a child. "And you sound like a bloody Ravenclaw."

Shira shook her head in confusion. "Draco, what's gotten into you?"

"I have needs."

She snorted. "So have I, but I remember several occasions not so long ago... You teasing me, and not doing anything about it. What about that?"

He shifted. "I'm a guy, my needs are more urgent."

"And mine aren't? I think you know how urgent my needs can be."

"Whatever. You're off topic. What is wrong?"

Shira sighed deeply, and laid her head back in frustration. Why did he have to be so difficult? Why wouldn't he understand anything? She _could_ just tell him what was on her mind, but she knew him well enough to know that she would probably loose him if she poured too much emotional stuff over him.

"Oh what the hell, it's not like I have Herbology tomorrow anyway," she finally said and put her stuff away before dragging a smirking Draco up to the dormitory.

---

Shira's overall spirits were lifted a little when she and Draco walked hand in hand to lunch. He had that effect on her. But she still felt like she was going crazy with everything that went on in her head. The war, her parents, Draco. She felt like there was no end to it all. One thing building on top of one other.

Marieileen saw all of this in Shira. She had seen it for awhile, but now she saw something was troubling her friend too much. After discussing the matter with Pansy, she decided to take action that night before bedtime.

Shira was just about to put away her clothes when Marieileen spoke in her ear. "Shira, can I talk to you?"

She jumped and turned around. "Don't do that!"

Marieileen smiled. "You've never been so jumpy."

"First time for everything. You want to talk? About what?"

"In there." Marieileen pointed to Shira's bed. They climbed in and Marieileen closed the drapes and put silencing spells all around them to Shira's puzzlement.

"Something so serious and Pansy's not here?"

"I already talked to her. Because... there's been so long since we've talked. I mean,_ really talked_."

"Are you in trouble?" Shira asked worried. "Are you pregnant? Because if you are, I'm sure we can find a potion or something to get rid of it. I can even beat the crap out of Blaise for doing that to you while in you're still in school."

"I'm not pregnant, and even if I were I'd probably be just as guilty in the 'crime' as Blaise. No, this is about you."

"_I'm_ not pregnant."

Marieileen sighed. "I know, I think. It's just, I can tell that something's on your mind. And I don't like what it's doing to you." 

"Excuse me?"

"I think I know what's on your mind these days. So let's forget about the war and how that's affecting us at the moment. We can't do anything about that. That leaves us with Draco. Right? Right. Did something happen between you two during Easter?"

Shira wasn't sure she liked how perceptive Marieileen was. She decided to look puzzled.

"Look, I hate sounding like your mother or something, but it's clear that there is something bothering you. And seeing how wonderful I am, I have a strong feeling about what it is. And as your best friend, it's my duty to help you with it. So I'm asking permission to be down right blunt and honest. Okay?"

Shira sighed. "You would have been so anyway, but okay, permission granted."

Marieileen took a deep breath. "Do you love Draco? I mean, _really_ love him?"

"Yes."

"And you haven't told him?"

"I have."

"Well- uh, what?" Marieileen looked perplexed. "I thought the problem was that you were afraid to tell him."

"Oh, no." Shira looked down on her hands in her lap. "I've told him several times."

Marieileen thought for a few seconds. "He hasn't said it back?" she almost yelled out suddenly. "That bastard."

And then Shira told Marieileen. She left out the part about Draco's issues and all that, only talked about her thoughts after saying it. And Marieileen listened without interrupting. It felt easier afterwards, but not entirely.

"It would probably be stupid, but I think you should put him on the spot," Marieileen said in the end. "He deserves it."

"But I don't want to loose him!"

"So you want to live for the rest of your life not knowing?"

"A part of me does."

Marieileen groaned.

"I'm pathetic, I know. But wouldn't you live _with_ Blaise in uncertainty, instead of _without_ him?"

"I don't know, I haven't really thought about it."

"Then you won't understand."

Marieileen grabbed Shira's shoulders. "Confront him, or your hair will go gray. I know you don't want _that_."

Shira laughed, despite her irritation. "Now, while I have you here with all the silencing spells, how is it going with you and Blaise?"

"That, Shira, is for another night," Marieileen said with a smirk. She crawled out between the drapes and the silencing spells were broken. "Good night."

---

How little Shira may have liked what Marieileen told her she should do, it still got her mind working. Subconsciously it went back and forth contemplating if she should talk to Draco or not. Because not knowing anything about his feelings were making her just short of crazy.

The rational side of her kept thinking she deserved to know. And even if it turned out to be something she wouldn't like, he had to give her _something_. If she lost him by demanding to know how he felt, then she'd at least be free from worrying about loosing him. About that time her irrational side kicked in, and her mental self sat down on the ground crying and kicking and hitting.

At the end of the school day she had a splitting headache.

"Oh Merlin," Shira sighed and rubbed her temples.

"Something wrong with what I just said, miss Lind?" Professor McGonagall stared at Shira sternly above her square glasses.

"No, sorry, professor," Shira answered quietly.

"Headache?" Draco mimed at her when McGonagall started talking again. Shira just nodded. Then and there, she made her decision and hoped the headache would go away.

But it was still there when dinner came, and stronger than ever in the common room afterwards. Draco offered her to lie down and let him rub her temples and make her relax. He tried to pull her down on the couch, but she wriggled away.

"No," she said firmly. "That will only make everything worse."

Draco looked almost hurt for a moment, but quickly pulled himself together.

"I need to ask you something," she said then. "Come on."

She led him out and through a few corridors until she found an old empty classroom that had never been used during their time at Hogwarts. It was dim and the dust whirled around their feet as they walked inside. Shira positioned Draco in the middle of the room and stood right in front of him, looking very serious.

"I love you," she said. And waited.

"Was that a question?" Draco said eventually.

She opened and closed her mouth several times like a fish.

"Well, you said you wanted to ask me something."

"Then yes, that was a question."

He blinked a few times before saying anything. "Okay, good, I guess."

"Don't be stupid!"

"I'm not stupid, I don't know what you're getting at, or why you're so angry all of a sudden." He waved his hands around in frustration.

Shira groaned. "You've never said anything about how you feel, Draco! You have never said that you care about me, or love me, or even like me. All I have ever heard from you is that you hate me, before we got together! I just need..." She calmed herself down. "I just need to hear you say something."

"I don't hate you," Draco said cautiously.

"Then what do you do?"

"I-I don't know!" He was looking a little pale now.

"We've know each other for years, been together for months, and when I told you I love you, you just fucking fell asleep!"

"Well, what did you expect me to do?"

Shira's eyes almost popped out of her head in surprise. He wasn't really that stupid, was he? "Oh, I don't know, how about telling me you love me too! I even would have been happy with an 'I like you' too!"

"I don't know what to say!"

"Just be honest for once in your life! What exactly is it that you feel for me? I need to know, so I can stop wasting my time!"

He closed his eyes for a moment, and then said quietly: "I honestly don't know."

"Okay," Shira breathed. She could feel tears pressing behind her eyes. "Then I have clearly been wasting my time." She turned around and quickly walked out of the classroom.

Did she just leave him? She couldn't do that! No one left him! He ran out of the classroom. She hadn't gotten far down the hall. "Fine!" he called after in anger. "I like you! I like you! Is that enough? Are you happy now?"

She stopped, but didn't turn around.

"I like you, Shira," he said again.

"No, you don't," she whispered, but he heard. He also heard the hurt in her voice, and the tears she was fighting. Then she stormed off.

Draco stood frozen. The sound and echo of her running grew fainter and fainter, until he couldn't hear it anymore.

* * *

A/N

They're both really stupid aren't they?

Sorry again, for another long wait! I probably hate not posting anything more than you do... It's just that my motivation and inspiration is... gone. It's there every once in a while, but not enough. I think there's just too much going on in my head, so much I have to do and so much I want to do. But I guess it's good news that I got about two pages of the next chapter already written.

So, do you think they'll work it out?


	6. Lost

Draco was standing in the middle of a hall in the dungeons. His breath was going faster and faster. And a sea of feelings washed over him, every feeling he could name and then some. Anger, love, jealousy, hurt, happiness, hate... None of them settled, they just kept going round and round.

_No, you don't. No, you don't. No, you don't._

Shira's voice was ringing in his head at the same time. That was the last words she said to him before she stormed off.

_No, you don't._

He slapped himself hard mentally and finally settled everything in his body. And like a living dead he walked back to the common room. He didn't see anyone as he walked across the room. Not until someone spoke to him.

"Draco?"

He focused his eyes and saw that Marieileen stood in front of him. "What?"

"Have Shira talked to you?"

"What do you know about it?" he asked threateningly.

"Not much," Marieileen lied. "I just had a chat with her yesterday, and advised her to talk to you."

"So it's your fault then?" His eyes flashed angrily.

"My fault? What happened?"

Pansy and Blaise was paying close attention.

"I hope you're happy with yourself, Storme!" Draco walked closer to Marieileen. He continued in a low hiss so no one would hear. "First you go around telling me how to feel and what to do. You practically pushed us together, and now you've said something to mess up Shira's mind."

"I didn't- She said-"

"Save your breath before I _Crucio you beyond oblivion_." Then he walked past her and towards the stairs to the dorm, bumping into her on the way so she fell down on a couch.

"Where is she now?" Marieileen called after him.

"Your work isn't done?" he said with his back to the room. "Well, I don't care anymore. She went in direction of the Entrance Hall."

Marieileen left at once, and Draco walked up the stairs.

"What was that about?" he heard Blaise ask Pansy before he closed the door behind him.

---

"Shira! There you are." Out on the grounds Marieileen finally found Shira sitting under a tree hugging her knees, muttering and staring out over the Black Lake.

"What happened?" Marieileen asked sitting down next to her best friend.

"I'm so stupid," Shira muttered to herself over and over.

Marieileen put her hand on Shira's back, but Shira shook it off and snapped her head around. "This is all your fault!"

"What is everyone mad at me for?" Marieileen threw up her hands in defeat. "I didn't do anything wrong!"

"You're the one who made me talk to Draco!"

"I just gave you advice when you were troubled."

"I didn't ask for your advice! You cast silencing spells all over the place and _forced_ me to talk to you."

"I didn't force you. If you didn't want to say anything, you know I wouldn't have pressed you. I may be relentless sometimes, but I would never make you do anything you don't want to do."

Shira said something incoherent and stood up. Marieileen could see she was seething with anger. And that was kind of frightening, because she looked mad and uncontrolled.

"If you really mean that," she then said with a hint of sadness in all the fury, "how come I am out here, alone, after following your advice? Which I didn't want in the first place."

"I don't know! I don't know what you said to him, I just said you should talk to him, so it's really not my fault!" Marieileen stood up also. They were now standing right opposite each other, staring into each other's eyes almost like a challenge of life or death.

"It is your fault when _I didn't ask for it!_"

"I was trying to help! I'm not going to sit and watch when my best friend has a problem that's obviously messing her up!"

Shira took a deep breath, before she spoke again. Her voice was calm and icy. "I left him. I broke up with him. You have no idea what that is doing to me. So a good advice for you is that you keep your nose out of other people's business from now on, especially mine. Just... stay away."

Before Marieileen could respond, Shira walked away in a hurry. She passed a few other students on her way, but didn't even notice her surroundings until she was in the dorm. There was no one up there, so she breathed deeply trying to free the tears that pressed behind her eyes. But no matter how hard she tried, not a single tear slipped out. In the mirror all she saw was cold eyes in a pale face.

---

In the boys' dorm there was a surprise waiting for Blaise, Theodore, Vincent and Gregory when they went up to sleep that evening. The room was in an absolute chaos. Trunks had been blasted apart, leaving clothes everywhere. Where there had been posters or pictures on the walls there was now scorch marks from curses. The drapes on the four-posters were hanging by their last thread, bed frames were broken, and every pillow had been blasted apart leaving the floor covered in white feathers. The only bed that was whole enough to sleep in was Draco's. He had clearly cast some mediocre Reparo on it.

Blaise walked as quietly as he could past pieces of trunk and cloth and carefully peered through the drapes hiding Draco from the rest of the room. There he was asleep, tangled up in his sheets, sweating and looking a little paler than usual.

"Is he there?" Vincent asked.

Blaise turned around nodding and motioned with his hand to keep quiet. "Let's just clear this up quietly," he whispered and began repairing his own trunk.

---

Shira woke from the sounds of the other girls chatting and getting ready the next morning. For a moment she lay disoriented staring at the ceiling in her bed and didn't remember anything from the day before. Then with a groan it all came back. She turned to the side and pulled herself into foetus position, holding tightly onto the blanket.

Someone must have heard, because just seconds later Pansy's head appeared in an opening in the drapes.

"You're awake!" Then she saw how Shira was lying. "Are you all right?"

"No," Shira whispered barely audible.

Pansy climbed up and sat herself next to Shira. "We've all been up for a while now, but I didn't wake you. I thought you deserved to sleep as long as you wanted. Marieileen told me what happened yesterday."

"Oh really," Shira whispered. "Did she also say it was all her fault?"

Pansy sighed. "She said you both blame her, yes. But can I ask you something without you going all crazy on me too?"

Shira nodded, still grasping the covers desperately.

"If it's all Marieileen's fault, shouldn't you and Draco be just fine?"

"No, because Storme made me do something that can't be reversed. Draco and I will never be the same again. I lost him because of her."

"So it's Storme now, eh?"

"She's not a part of my life anymore."

"I see..." Pansy didn't dare to say so much about her own opinion on the matter in case Shira got mad at her too, so she decided to be the good friend. The only good friend Shira was left with. "Why don't you get out of bed and you and I can go get some lunch? It's no good lying around here no matter what the problem is."

"Sure..."

Arriving at the Slytherin table ten minutes later, Pansy was very surprised. She realised that Shira, Draco and Marieileen wouldn't be good around each other at the moment, but that it was this bad, she couldn't have guessed in a thousand years. Draco sat with Vincent and Gregory again, not with Marieileen and Blaise, but still close enough so he could talk to Blaise and ignore Marieileen. Shira didn't say good morning to anyone, not even Blaise, but ignored them smoothly and went straight for an available seat on the bench as far away as possible. With a look saying sorry to the others, Pansy followed her.

That entire weekend Shira sat mostly still in the common room studying or staring into space trying to cope with everything on her own. She felt an immense anger towards Marieileen that easily overshadowed the sadness of loosing a best friend. Because she _was_ sad about it. Right now she needed her best friend, Marieileen always had a way of understanding everything. But ironically, Marieileen was the one to blame for it all, according to Shira. Every time she saw her ex-friend she wanted to run and strangle the poor girl. But something in her heart stopped her every time.

What Shira felt around Draco was worse than anything she felt around Marieileen. She tried hard to pretend he didn't exist, figured it was easier that way, but it wasn't. Whenever he was near, or even in the same room, his presence radiated. Sometimes she felt him so much the hairs on her neck stood on end and almost jumped out with their roots. And she could swear she felt the familiar feeling of his eyes on her from time to time. But that was only her imagination of course.

Pansy had a tough time too. She wasn't cross with anyone, and was drawn in every direction. Marieileen had Blaise, so that wasn't so bad. Draco having to seek out Vincent and Gregory for company was horrible, but they had been his naively loyal friends since first year. Shira pulled in the last direction, and she pulled the hardest. So Pansy hoped all the rest understood, and spent as much time as possible with Shira.

Though there wasn't much Pansy could do for Shira, not matter how much she wanted to. It pained her seeing Shira so miserable and seeing her try so hard to hide it. But that was just the way she was, stubborn and Slytherin until the very end. But on Sunday even Pansy had to pull Shira aside before bed and ask her how she was holding up. Shira answered by shrugging. "How in the might of Merlin am I going to get through this?" Pansy didn't know what to say or do, except give her a hug.

---

At breakfast Monday morning, Shira was faced with the reality of her classes and the case of Theodore. The biggest mistake of her life wasn't agreeing to be with Draco, it was giving Theodore the opportunity of a second chance when she saw no happy ending to her parents' marriage-fever.

She was sitting in silence with Pansy far away from the others, when Theodore suddenly slumped down next to her on the bench.

"I heard what happened, Shira, I'm so sorry," he said sounding really sad. "How are you feeling?"

"What's it to you?" she asked suspiciously, not buying his sorry tone of voice.

"I just thought you'd like some comfort, that's all," he said as casual as he could, sneaking his arm around her waist.

"Does it look like I need comfort?" she said and wriggled his arm away and looked at him with the coldest glare she could muster.

But that didn't turn him off. "Fine," he shrugged. "When you find you need someone to keep you warm at night, just let me know." And he stood up, winked and walked away.

On his way out he passed Draco, who grabbed his arm and pulled him down to whisper in his ear. "You stay the hell away from her, Nott, or I swear I will kill you. She doesn't need you."

A smirk spread across Theodore's lips. "She's none of your concern anymore, now is she?" he whispered back. "So you just butt out, Malfoy." And he yanked himself free from Draco's deathly grip and strode proudly out of the Great Hall.

"I am so screwed," Shira said to Pansy. None of them had seen the little encounter further down the table. "Screwed in so many ways."

"No, you're not. And I'll deal with him if he's giving you problems. But what I don't understand is when he turned into such an idiot," Pansy mused.

"He never turned into an idiot," Shira said calmly, receiving an odd glance from Pansy. "He was always like that, a stuck-up git, so full of himself it's sickening," she continued. "I learned that first hand when I was dating him. And I must have forgotten it when I dumped him."

"Hear hear," Pansy said raising her goblet.

"But I'm dreading Potions. If we have to work in pairs I have only him or Daphne now. And knowing Theo, he won't leave me any choice but to work with him."

Pansy sighed in sympathy as they both left the table and headed for classes.

Shira was partially right about Potions. They weren't working in pairs, so she hoped she could sit alone, but Theodore still claimed the seat next to her. She complained and asked him to leave, politely at first, then more urgent, almost pushing him off the bench. But he didn't move and only sat there with a self-satisfied smirk until Slughorn began class.

It was a challenge, having Potions like that. The too obvious flirting Theodore was doing, never being able to focus on the professor or the potion, fighting the strong urge to drown the git in his own bubbling cauldron. When class was finally over, Shira escaped as fast as she could and made for the common room to enjoy a free period. She sat down in front of the fireplace and breathed out, only to snap her head around when the common room door opened and she heard a familiar groan.

Draco stood in front of the closing door with an expression that was unreadable.

In her relief of getting away from Theodore, she had forgotten that Draco also had this period free. Before anything awkward could happen, she sprang up and hurried up the stairs to the dorm. As she reached the door, she heard a faint 'wait' from Draco, but ignored it and shut the door firmly.

That little faint protest from him, gave her a lump in her throat. A lump that hadn't been there since she yelled at Marieileen. The tears she had fought back then, and tried to bring forth since, came now. It took her by such a surprise she had trouble breathing for a few minutes. All the sadness and hurt came washing over her, her heart broke all over again, and she truly felt the pain. It was like she had been numb up until now.

Somehow Shira managed to cast a silencing spell, but doubted its effectiveness, and laid down on her bed letting it all come out. She curled herself up like a baby, sobbing, moaning, breathing, aching... Her vision blurred, her throat began aching, head pounding.

Eventually she must have fallen asleep, because the next thing her conscious mind registered was someone shaking her and calling her name.

"Shira! Shira! Wake up, lunch is almost over!"

She slowly opened her eyes to see Pansy hover over her looking very worried. "What?" she said hoarsely.

"You never came to lunch. So I brought something to eat and came looking for you." As Pansy moved aside to grab the toast she had left on the bedside table, Shira saw Marieileen standing there.

She was holding her bag tightly to her chest, almost hugging it, and looked very sad. Shira glared at her, not at all affected.

Pansy noticed and hurried to explain before war erupted. "Don't worry, she only came for her Defence book. Take your toast, Shira, and clean up. You look like hell."

Without a word, Marieileen left hurriedly.

"What happened?" Pansy then asked.

Shira hiccuped and stumbled into the bathroom. "I don't know. I just lost it, I suppose," she said.

"Want to talk about it?"

"No."

---

Draco was very strange these days. Vincent and Gregory were truly confused by his behaviour and were often too scared of even making a sound in his presence. One minute he could be engulfed in flaming anger and lash out on them for no reason, and the next minute he could be quiet and closed, feeling lost and depressed. But most of all he felt confused.

He couldn't quite understand why he and Shira had a fall out like that. He hadn't seen it coming, and could not for his bare life understand why she would be so upset with him for not saying 'I love you' back. She wouldn't want him to lie, would she? Because he didn't love her, he had never loved anyone in the romantic way before, and was not capable of it. Didn't even want to. Shira knew that. She knew all of it. She had to. Since they first met, she had seen that this was the how he was.

They had been doing so great together. Draco kept thinking that over and over again, how good it had been. Never had he been more devoted to a relationship. Shira was funny and beautiful and smart, and great in bed. She simply made his life a little bit more interesting. So why could she go so girlishly crazy over such a small detail and ruin what they had? How could she push him away?

But that wasn't right. It was Marieileen's fault. Marieileen had done or said _something_ to Shira. The stupid girl was just as bad as Potter, always having to meddle in other people's business and trying to fix what wasn't broken.

Shira obviously didn't want anything to do with him anymore. She never gave him the time of day, never responded to anything, just rudely ignoring him. She even moved away from him in Transfiguration, the only class where they were the only Slytherins. Draco sometimes tried to make eye contact, but she had either lost her magical impression of others or was just being stubborn. Marieileen was guilty in that. In turning Shira against him and breaking the nicest thing in his life. Draco wanted to fix it, he needed to fix it, but didn't know how.

Perhaps he could start by killing Nott. The git was throwing himself after Shira. In every Defence Against the Dark Arts class, every Potions class, just about every chance he had, Theodore was there next to her. He talked to her, he touched her, smiled at her, laughed... Draco felt sick from watching it. He literally felt the contents of his stomach rise and push at his throat. If Draco Malfoy ever felt true jealousy in his life, this was it, when the bastard Nott flirted with his girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend.

He _had_ to fix it. He would turn around what Marieileen had done, and he would get Shira back. And nothing would break them again, and there would certainly be no other man touching her. But he didn't know how to do it.

---

The weekend was approaching fast. Faster than Shira would have liked, but suddenly Friday morning was there. And that was the day Marieileen and Draco would leave for the tryouts with Marcus' Falmouth Falcons. She had been looking forward to this day since Draco first got his invitation. She wanted to kiss him good luck and see him and Marieileen off after lunch, and then wait with Pansy and Blaise for them to return on Sunday. Hopefully Draco would be the new Seeker and Marieileen the new Chaser.

Shira was looking over at Draco eating his breakfast. She could imagine how nervous he was, though he would never admit it. All she wanted to do was to sit there next to him and tell him how she believes in him and knows he will do great. But Draco looked so secure and sure of himself that Shira felt like a Muggle in comparison.

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you went and told him good luck," Pansy suddenly said after seeing where Shira's attention was.

"Oh, shut up, Parkinson," she muttered.

"No, seriously, I know you want to."

Shira sent her the ugliest glare she had. But then said quietly: "You tell him for me."

Pansy snorted. "I'm not doing the dirty work for you. If you want to, then you do it."

Shira sighed gazing at the owls that came fluttering in. She saw one slightly familiar. It flew towards the Slytherin table, towards her, before it made a turn and landed in front of Draco.

---

Draco had ditched Vincent and Gregory this morning. He wanted to be by himself and prepare mentally for the tryouts. The two fools made him feel dumber, and that was the last thing he needed. He was almost finished with breakfast when the post-owls came and his family's owl suddenly landed in front of him. Curiously he opened the letter it carried.

_My sweet Draco_

_I have some news for you and Shira, and I hope you will see it as good news._

_During the week Shira stayed here, I noticed how troubled she was for not having her parents' blessing to be with you. So when you Flooed back to Hogwarts, I made a visit to her mansion. Now, before you fly off your hinges, Draco, I just wanted to hear Ellyn and Delano's reason for not granting their daughter the happiness she has found, and if need be I hoped to sway them to your benefit._

_Ellyn and I talked for a long time about this and that. When I left, she was still against your union, but I think she was less adamant. I really hope they will see reason soon, so don't give up hope, neither of you. Shira is such an enchanting young woman. And you better keep her well, my son. Her kind doesn't come around often._

_I hope you both are still doing well, and I will write you again soon. Hopefully with some more good news. And good luck on your tryout this weekend, I trust you to fly safely._

_Love, mother_

Strange feelings were flowing through Draco's stomach. He looked around and found Shira's figure. He felt his heart beat just a little faster at the sight of her. She must have sensed him looking, because she suddenly turned her gaze to him. Draco looked away quickly and shoved his plate away. He had lost his appetite. With a sour taste in his mouth he folded the letter, put it in his pocket and headed for Transfiguration wondering if Shira would sit alone today too.


	7. What Matters

Shira and Pansy was on their way to Defence Against the Dark Arts class, last class of the week. Just outside the classroom Shira pulled Pansy to a halt. "Can you please check if Theodore is in there? And if he is, can you take a seat far away from him and then make a huge deal about me sitting with you when I come in?"

Pansy sighed. "I wish you would just tell him off once and for all, but fine." She went inside and came back two seconds later to inform that he wasn't there, and the two found a seat together. Theodore came in a couple of minutes later, he said a brief hello to Shira and found a seat alone looking a bit annoyed.

Shira was glad she only shared two of her six subjects with Theodore. He really was becoming a huge strain on her nerves. Because he didn't say or do much, he was just... around. And his motive about it wasn't clear. But he had a motive, that was for sure. Theodore Nott _never_ did _anything_ without there being some purpose to it, preferably for his own benefit.

McGonagall strode in and there wasn't more time for Shira to think or ask Pansy a pressing question. The moment class was dismissed, she threw her question out. "Did it go okay?"

And Pansy knew she talked about when Draco and Marieileen left for tryouts during lunch earlier. "Well," she started. "Moody waited for them outside, said he was coming along for extra protection. Mumbled something about the real world and spoiled kids. Draco wasn't so happy about it though, but apart from that everything seemed fine."

Shira became quiet as they found their way to dinner, wishing she could have been there with Pansy. Theodore passed them on the way, but this time he just walked by, not saying or doing anything.

In the common room later Shira and Pansy found a quiet area to do homework. There was only three months left until their N.E. and their professors began giving heaps of revising homework and it was time to begin the serious studying. At the moment Shira was quite happy about it, it gave her something to focus completely on, so she didn't have to think about Draco. Because he was all she could think about, always there at the back of her mind, haunting. Now especially, because he was so far away, all the way down in Falmouth.

Shira was deep into her Herbology books when she was brought back to reality. "Shira," Theodore said towering over her holding a large scroll of parchment. "Do you think you can help me with this Potions essay?" He sat down and rolled out all 40 inches of it.

Shira sighed and laid her book down in her lap.

"Just skim through it and I'll correct it quickly," he hurried to say before she refused. "I really struggled with this one."

Shira looked at him. He seemed to truly need help. There were no lies in his eyes. "Fine, give it here and let me see."

Theodore glanced over at Pansy quickly to check if she was looking while Shira began reading. Pansy _was_ looking, so Theodore gave her one if his sweetest smiles. She furrowed her brows, but seemed satisfied with his intentions and returned to what she was doing, not seeing his smile turn into a smirk.

He turned to Shira, studying her face as she read, watching her eyes go back and forth, seeing her lips sometimes form the words she read.

"Here," she suddenly said and pointed at something near the beginning. "You have mixed up the uses of Dragon liver with Dragon heart." 

Theodore quickly pulled out his quill and wand and began magically editing and filling in with everything Shira said.

An entire hour they sat there, with Pansy glancing up every now and then. But she never saw how Theodore sometimes leaned unnecessarily close to Shira to see exactly what she pointing at, or how he "accidentally" bumped his knee into hers every time he moved, or how he looked greedily at her when she was reading. And had Pansy seen that look, she would probably throw her chair at him, and Shira would go Avada Kedavra on him. It was a scary look.

"Thank you, Shira," Theodore said when they were done.

"No problem," she mumbled boringly and picked up her Herbology book again.

With a smirk Theodore headed for the dorms to put away the essay he easily could have corrected on his own, or just written perfectly in the first place. But he skilfully wrote the essay with errors that wasn't too obvious, because then he could ask Shira for help. He knew how passionate she was about Potions, and thought it was a good idea to use it as an excuse to get close to her without anyone noticing. That way, he could worm his way in to her sub-consciousness.

---

Friday afternoon Draco, Marieileen, professor Moody and madam Hooch arrived at the only magical In down in Falmouth by Floo powder from Hogsmeade station. Marcus was there to welcome them and help everyone settle in to their rooms. They all got their own rooms, and Draco was pleased to see that Marcus had placed Moody and Hooch in a reasonable distance from his and Marieileen's rooms. He felt stupid enough as it was for having a teacher and a crazy half-Auror coming with them.

While they waited for everyone to arrive and get settled in, Draco found himself a spot at the bar. He only ordered Butterbeer, but hadn't there been _adults_ there to look after him, he'd be pouring down the Firewhiskey. To drink away his misery would feel nice right now.

A few minutes later Marieileen came, stepping carefully and sitting down. She cleared her throat as silently as she could. "I just spoke to Hooch," she said.

"And?"

"She said she could understand how we kids felt about them being here, and she wanted to reassure me that she and Moody would try to blend in to the background, and not bother us at all."

Draco glanced at her. She had the faintest of smiles on her face. Moody could never blend in to any background. Neither could Hooch with her creepy yellow eyes. He smiled quickly back.

"Everybody gather here please!" Marcus' voice boomed through the room. The first post on the program for the weekend was to have a friendly match with the old team and the new possible players. It was only to make them house-warm, and to get the feel of the new Quidditch pitch and the other players.

Draco felt better and better about the entire weekend, the longer he was out on the pitch. He closely watched the other boys trying for the Seeker-position, and his spirits grew each minute. He was without doubt the best, and if he managed to keep his head cool, the spot was his. Even Marieileen made a comment about it during a five minute break.

"This'll be an easy task for you," she said as she put down her broom and sat down on the bench next to him. The two of them had silently agreed to a truce back at the bar, and could talk together almost as if the last week had never happened.

"Of course," he said with his usual cockiness. "But I'm still surprised, you'd think Marcus would come up with a better bunch of Seekers."

Marieileen nodded in agreement. "And what do you think about the Chasers?"

"The same, you'll probably be the first and last female on the team."

She smiled broadly, and for the first time Draco noticed that she and Shira had almost the same smile. And so Shira was back in his thoughts. It had gone so well up until now, forcing her out of his mind so he could do his job. Without knowing he did so, he sighed loudly, causing Marieileen to look at him.

"Let's fly back up," he said quickly before she could pour out more of her useless "advice".

His performance during the rest of the game wasn't as good as earlier. Marcus noticed this and asked him after the game what had happened. Draco shrugged and muttered something about a bad lunch catching up with him. But back at Falcon In, after everyone had showered and changed, Marcus found the chance to talk to his two former schoolmates and catch up. It was unavoidable, and Draco wished it hadn't come up, but Marcus asked how Shira was doing. When none of them could answer, it came out that she and Draco were no longer together and that she and Marieileen had had a fight about it and was no longer friends. A not so pretty look crossed Marcus' face, but he said nothing about it and changed the subject.

That night Draco got to bed in a bad mood. He was frustrated that he wasn't able to do his best on the Quidditch field, and he was afraid he might have ruined his chances at becoming a professional player by letting Marcus know about Shira. All he could hope for now was that Marcus didn't let his relationship with Shira get it the way of his professionalism.

Draco sighed and turned to his side angrily, making the old bed screech. He would just have to pull himself together and shut off his mind. Then he would work that field like no one before him and get the spot as Seeker, and the best job he could ever ask for. This was more important than some silly little heartache.

---

Shira woke early on Saturday morning, it was still very dark outside. Odd dreams had awakened her several times during the night, and at last she decided that enough is enough, and got out of bed. First she sat in the common room, listening to the distant snoring and the crackling of the fireplace. She stared into the dancing flames, and let herself be completely captivated by it. There were constantly so much on her mind, it was nice to let it all go, and just relax.

About and hour later her stomach woke her up from her trancelike state with cries for food. Stepping out into the dungeon halls, her mind was back to the same trail of thoughts again. She met no one on her way up, and only five people were in the Great Hall this early. None of them Slytherins, so she sat down on the closest bench and nibbled dully on a dry piece of toast and glanced up at the enchanted ceiling. Dark clouds were roaming across the sky, promising heavy rain and thunder. It looked like autumn, which was depressing since April was just around the corner. The sun should be shining and everyone should be outside to see how much clothes they could take off without catching a cold. But Shira felt gloomy, and was pleased to see the weather was on her side.

Little by little, students came for breakfast. Pansy came too, sitting down on the other side of the table. "Good morning," she said.

"Good enough," Shira answered.

The two girls sat in silence, eating quietly. Blaise joined them after a while, and his meagre attempts at conversation fell to dead ears. Shira stared down on the table, and Pansy didn't feel like chatting along while her friend was in this mood.

After a long while, Shira finally looked up, and saw how few Hufflepuff there were. "Where are all the puffies?" she asked no one in particular.

Pansy turned around to see. "Don't know. You think they died?" she asked hopefully.

"Haven't you heard?" Blaise asked.

"Heard what?" the two girls said.

"A few of them are being taken out of school. Today, it seems. So I guess most of them are downstairs saying a heartfelt goodbye or something."

"No surprise that they're the first ones to go," Pansy said shrugging. "I was kind of wondering if people were ever going to be brought home." She and Blaise began talking about the puffies, and Shira got lost in her thoughts again.

For some reason, she started feeling homesick. She wanted to get away from this place and all its complications. See her cat again, feel Demon's long soft fur and her him purr for her. And she wanted to see for herself that her father was okay. But would there be anyone at her manor if she left Hogwarts today? What exactly were her parents doing? What was really going on now?

"Do you think it's fair that we know nothing of the war and that we're not told anything?" Shira asked suddenly, interrupting Blaise and Pansy's conversation.

"We know about the war," Blaise answered. "The Daily Prophet's got almost nothing else than war-articles nowadays."

"I know that," Shira said heatedly. "But shouldn't the professors talk to us about it? The Prophet does like to exaggerate everything just to sell."

"I suppose they should talk to us," Pansy said. "Unless they want to spare us."

"That's not right," Shira continued. "I would really like to get some real honest answers to my questions. I'm so tired of only knowing bits and pieces."

"You just want to know exactly what your father's doing," Pansy whispered. "No one here is going to tell you that."

"Except maybe Granger," Shira said angrily. "She seemed to know _so much_ not so long ago."

At that moment Slughorn walked past and into the Entrance Hall. Shira looked up, and for the first time in a long time, a real smile spread across her lips. "I'll ask Slughorn. He should be able to give some straight answers. Perhaps not exactly what I want, but something to fill in a few gaps."

After breakfast Shira found her way to Slughorn's office. She knocked on the door, and heard a yelp from inside and the sound of something falling to the floor.

"Just a second," came a voice from inside. A short moment later, Slughorn opened the door, looking a bit anxious. "Ah, Miss Lind, good morning, what can I do for you?"

"Good morning, professor. I was wondering if I could talk to you about something that's been troubling me."

"Of course, of course, come in, Miss Lind." He let her in and closed the door carefully. Then he gestured to a couple of chairs with a small table in between. "Have a seat. May I get you some tea?"

"No, thank you, professor." Shira sat down on the edge of the seat.

Slughorn slumped down in the other chair and looked a bit calmer than earlier. "So, what's troubling the young lady this fine Saturday morning?"

What's with the sudden cheerful behaviour? Shira thought. "I was just wondering if you could tell me what's going on outside of Hogwarts."

The professor paled slightly.

"I am so worried about those at home, and I don't know if I should trust the Prophet or not. It would just be nice to hear something real, whether it's good or bad."

"I- Well, it's- Uh-" he stuttered. "I honestly don't know that much about it," he said avoiding her eyes. "And I'm not sure what I should tell you."

There were a few seconds of silence, he was obviously thinking. And Shira regretted going to him for answers. "It's not so good out there, pretty much just as the newspapers say," professor Slughorn finally said, fumbling awkwardly with one of the buttons on his waistcoat. "I suppose you know that some students are being taken home today. More will probably go home during next week. People are scared. But every Auror all over the world is on duty, and they're doing all they can to put an end to this. They've come a far way, and it's looking good."

_Not_ good, Shira thought.

"I hope this will settle your mind for now, Miss Lind."

Shira sighed, trying to sound relieved. "Yes, thank you, professor. I should get back to the common room, I've got lots of studying to do."

"Ah yes, you are preparing well for your N.E. I hope?"

"Of course, professor." She smiled and headed for the door. "I'm working for an O in every subject."

"And I am sure you will get them."

"Good bye, professor."

"Good bye, Miss Lind."

---

"Did you get the answers you wanted?" Pansy asked as Shira came back to the common room a long while later. She had wandered the halls after her visit to Slughorn's office, in need of some thinking. And the halls were so quiet these days, she could think without interruption.

She sighed, sitting down. "Not really. Nothing to lighten my spirit anyway."

"Here," Pansy said handing over the Herbology book Shira had left the night before. "Take your mind off it, you really need something sensible to focus on."

Shira sighed again, and figured that Pansy was right. Her mind had been so scattered lately it would never be any good in the long run. Especially not since none of the things she thought about was "sensible". So she opened the book to the marked page and began reading about rare herbs.

It didn't take long until the letters on the page blurred in front of her and her mind wandered. It was not fair that the last thing she heard from her parents was that she couldn't come home for Easter. Everything with them had become so... vague. Why did they suddenly not want her home, why couldn't they tell her if they were all right, why did they make her feel so left out?

She really wanted to write to her mother, or her father. She didn't care that she was angry with them for not allowing her to be with Draco, that didn't matter anymore. They had gotten what they wanted, so they should be pleased to hear that. Perhaps if she opened the letter with that news, they would read on, and answer her questions. But was it safe? How would she form the letter to get her questions through without giving anything away to anyone who might intercept the mail?

I wish Draco was here, she thought miserably. He would know what to do, and possibly how to write it.

The need to have Draco by her side filled her painfully, and she closed her eyes to try and make it go away. But it didn't, and suddenly a hand was put on her shoulder. Shira felt very strange at the moment, and couldn't see dream from reality. Her own hand rose up and laid itself on top of the other.

"I knew you couldn't resist me for long," a voice whispered in her ear, a voice that was not Draco's. She squeezed the boy's hand, digging her nails into the flesh.

"Ouch, what the fuck," Theodore cried out and pulled his hand back. "What did you do that for?"

Pansy looked up, and narrowed her eyes.

"So sorry," Shira said sweetly. "I suppose you frightened me."

But Theodore stared strangely at her, not quite believing that. He raised his eyebrow, almost suggestively, and walked out of the common room.

Shira closed her eyes, breathed deeply and ground her teeth. She felt Pansy's eyes on her, so she kept her eyes closed and hoped Pansy didn't say anything.

"What's going on?" she eventually said.

"Nothing." Shira sighed and slowly opened her eyes. "Nothing."

"_You reached for his hand_."

First, Shira glared at Pansy. Then stared into her eyes meaningfully, knowing Pansy would be on her tail until she found out.

---

Saturday evening Draco was sore all over. He had never imagined that a tryout could be so tough, especially not for a Seeker. But it still felt good. First of all because of his competition, Draco was surer than ever that he was the best of them. So he was confident on getting the spot, if Marcus didn't let his brotherly relationship with Shira get in the way.

The best part about being so sore and exhausted was that he didn't think as much about Shira. In fact he found it quite easy to let all worries go. Even Marieileen didn't bother him. They still hadn't exchanged _one_ angry word, and it seemed like they had put their disagreement behind them. Or rather Draco's disagreement, if he would ever admit it.

So everything was good. He had just taken a shower and was getting ready to meet Marcus and Marieileen in the lounge, when there was a knock on the door.

It was Marieileen. "I really wish I didn't have to do this, but my conscience is making me do it," she said sounding a bit strange.

"Do what?" Draco asked.

"I'm taking this opportunity to talk to you and get some things explained."

Draco cursed inwardly, he knew what this was about. So much for his peace of mind. "But we were supposed to meet Marcus," he tried to object.

"I need to say this to you first, Draco. So can I come in?"

With a sigh, Draco stepped into the room.

Marieileen closed the door behind her and took the only chair in the room. Then she told Draco what she had seen in Shira and what they had talked about that evening.

Draco sat on the bed listening unenthusiastically. It was when she began saying what he should do now, that he straightened up and snapped at her. "I will not have anymore of your so-called _advice_ –"

"No! Listen to me!" Marieileen stood up to interrupt him. "First of all, I have never given you any bad advice, it's not my fault Shira did what she did. She screwed up, and you screwed up. I didn't screw you up. You managed that quite well on your own, both of you." She began to walk back and forth in front of him. "What I want you to do is to make a choice; if you want her back, or not.

"If you want her back, you need to be honest with yourself, find out what exactly it is you feel for her. Then you two need to talk, and get everything out in the open. Because she loves you, whether you like it or not, and because of that she deserves to know how you feel. It really doesn't matter if you love her or not now, because one day, when all planets and stars are aligned, you will. What matters is that you know yourself what you feel and that you can express this to her. If you don't want her back, you still need to talk. You need to explain to her why you don't want to be with her, so you both can move on as friends or civilized classmates."

Marieileen sat down again, catching her breath. Draco looked a bit taken back by all of this. Before he let it all sink in, he had to ask something. "And you, will you be fixing your relationship with her?"

"I know she'll see reason soon. And if you make your choice and act upon it, _without screwing up_, I know she'll come around sooner."

The two of them sat quietly for a minute or two, Marieileen feeling her conscience lift just a little bit, and Draco letting what she said sink in just a little bit.

"Why don't you just think about for a while? Sleep on it or something? And in the meantime, let's talk to Marcus. Maybe he has something valuable to share?" Marieileen said, starting for the door.

Draco nodded, and they both went straight for the lounge where Marcus was waiting. And he _had_ some interesting things to tell them.

---

It was a strange night, the night before Sunday. Every night everyone dreams, even if they don't remember anything in the morning. But this particular night, Shira really didn't dream anything. It was all pitch black in her mind, and quite peaceful. Until sunrise. Then her mind filled up with vaguely familiar images and feelings.

It was the same setting, the hall of her manor, stripped of furniture, doors and stairs. There were no pictures, portraits or flowers. It was frighteningly silent, as Shira looked around the room, trying to remember what it had looked like before everything was gone. She tried and tried, but couldn't remember. Tears began forming in her eyes, and her heart beat faster. The thumping echoed in the room, almost making the walls move.

Then a scream tore through the drumming in her ears, a short high-pitched scream. It was something familiar about the voice that yelled, but she couldn't place it. And it sounded like the person had yelled 'no'. Shira herself began saying 'no, no, no' as an echo, and became slowly aware of something touching her shoulder. She began turning around to see who it was. All she had time to register was a person with light hair, and then she felt pain all over her right side.

She cried out and noticed she wasn't in the manor anymore, but on the floor next to her bed, and someone's legs towered beside her. The legs bent and Pansy's face came into focus.

"Are you all right?" she asked.

Shira nodded quickly, noticing Daphne and Millicent behind Pansy. None of them looked too convinced. "Really," she said hoarsely. "I'm fine." She quickly scampered up into the bed to cover herself up.

The two in the background backed away hesitantly.

"That dream," Shira whispered. It was still fresh in her memory, and it made old memories ring at the back of her mind.

"What did you fall out of the bed for?" Pansy asked.

"I think it was something I dreamt," Shira answered, still trying to make sense of the dream and the memories.

Pansy sat down on the bed. "You don't look so good," she said. "Why don't we go down to breakfast, get some food in you?"

Shira pushed the dream to the back of her mind, and focused on filling the day with studying in stead. She was very aware that Draco, and Marieileen, would be coming home that evening, and now she used the books to repress her feelings about that. It worked quite well, and dinner arrived quickly. And together Shira and Pansy went to the Great Hall, which was buzzing with sound. Big groups of owls flew in now and then, coming straight from mail-check. A few larger owls came in with the Daily Prophet. The teachers had arranged for it to deliver all of the week's issues on Sundays. The Prophets were the most probable victim of being carrier of curses and hexes meant for the students and staff. Pansy had gotten hers, and flipped through them over her desert, reading a few headlines and quotes out loud to Shira.

"Merlin, can you believe this?" she said with wide eyes upon reaching the last page of Thursday's paper. "The Dementors are back under Ministry control."

"What?" Shira cried out almost choking as she tried not to spit out her pumpkin juice.

"It says so right here." Pansy pointed to the article. "Not all the Dementors will do what they're ordered to do, but the Ministry has a tight hold on them, and I quote Scrimgeour: 'We are quite positive about having our guards back. Having the Dementors back inside the walls of Azkaban in addition to the newly improved security wards, means that for the first time the prison is _completely_ safe from breakouts. Our entire Beast, Being and Spirit Division is working around the clock to persuade _all_ the Dementors to follow _all_ orders again.'" Pansy looked up, and saw Shira staring with a pale face. "What's wrong?"

With eyes completely out of focus, Shira slowly shook her head. "No, no, no," she whispered. "This can't be happening..." Then she pushed her plate away, swallowed the huge lump that had risen in her throat, and walked out as fast as she could.

At the end of the table Theodore called cheerfully out for her. "Hey there, Shira!" She turned her gaze to him, and he lost his smile. "What's wrong?"

But she didn't answer, just continued out into the Entrance Hall and down to the dungeons and up to her dorm. There she sat down on the bed breathing heavily. Not long after Pansy came in. Shira looked up at her. "I don't know what to do with myself anymore," she whispered, her eyes misty and her voice so helpless and childlike that Pansy felt her own eyes watering.

"Because of the Dementors?" Pansy came over and sat down next to Shira.

She nodded. "I can't imagine what Draco will do now, if his father gets Kissed."

Pansy gasped.

"I never thought the Ministry would get the Dementors back, I thought it all would be all right. I will never forget Narcissa's face when she and Draco got back from Azkaban. I will never forget that night, Draco told me about the rumours his father had heard. The look on face when he spoke, the sound of his voice. And then I-" Her voice broke. _And then I told him that I loved him._ She swallowed several times, trying to gather herself. "Pansy, I feel like I'm going crazy," she said at last.

"I think I shall take you to the Hospital Wind, and madam Pomfrey can give you something to calm you down."

They stood up and Pansy followed Shira down.

"What's wrong?" Theodore was now in the common room.

"You just mind your own business, Nott," Pansy said sharply. "It's nothing you need to care about."

"Oh, but it is!" he snapped back. "I care about Shira, and I can see she's upset. And whatever you have in store for her can't be any better than the safety of my arms."

Just as Pansy was about to retort, Shira spun around and landed her fist right on Theodore's face. There was a crack and he stumbled backwards. His hands shot up to his nose, and blood oozed out between his fingers. Confusion and pain was written all over his face, as he fumbled for his wand to clean up the blood as fast as it came. The few people in the room had gone silent and slowly closed in on them, probably waiting for a fight. But a not so subtle smile spread on Pansy's lips and she guided Shira out.

Madam Pomfrey was no where to be seen as they arrived, so they sat down on one of the beds to wait. Shira was hugging herself, and breathing deeply. She wanted to cry, she wanted to scream out all her pain and frustration, but couldn't.

Suddenly madam Pomfrey came in, discreetly brushing off breadcrumbs from her apron. "Oh, miss Parkinson, miss Lind, what's wrong?" she asked hurrying over, examining Shira with her eyes.

"I think I need some Calming Draught," Shira said.

"Oh, of course, right away," madam Pomfrey said and got a bottle of potion and a goblet. "Lots of students needing it these days, good thing I tripled my order. Here you go." She poured the light blue liquid into the goblet and watched carefully as Shira gulped it down. "It's all the stress of the students leaving and the war, isn't it?"

Shira hesitated for a moment. "Sure," she muttered barely audible.

"And you, miss Parkinson? Do you need Calming Draught?"

"No, I am fine, madam Pomfrey. I'm just here for Shira."

The matron nodded, and then looked at Shira again, clearly worried. "Do you mind?" she asked her and pulled out her wand. Shira shook her head, and Pansy moved away. Madam Pomfrey drew the wand in circles from head to toe while muttering something long and Latin. "I think I'll keep you here overnight," she then said. "Just to make sure the draught does its job, and to keep you away from anything stressful."

Shira agreed to that, and told Pansy to go to the dorm and fetch her some books, just for reading. Draco and Marieileen would be arriving any minute, so Pansy ought to hurry.

---

The two Quidditch players took their time in getting back. Pansy glanced at the clock above the common room door at least every five minutes. At eight thirty they finally came through the door, looking tired, but happy. Marieileen hurried over, dropped her bag and smothered Blaise in kisses. Draco quickly looked around the room, before coming over and dropping his own bag to join Pansy on the couch.

"Hi," she said, slightly amused at the greeting Blaise was receiving. "Tough weekend?"

"You could say so," Draco answered. "But very fun."

Marieileen and Blaise finished their little make out-session, and Pansy got a hug from Marieileen. "I take it you had fun too?" Pansy asked smiling.

"Yeah, it was great! My only regret is that this _is the first time I got to try professional Quidditch_," she answered, glaring at Draco with the last part.

"If that's _your_ regret, what are you glaring at me for?" Draco said jokingly.

Pansy and Blaise quickly looked at each other at the change between the two others. But instead of commenting on it, they looked expectantly at them.

"So," Pansy said. "Did you get your spots as Seeker and Chaser?"

Draco and Marieileen hesitated for a moment. "Well, let's put it this way," Marieileen started quietly.

"There wasn't any reason for the other Chasers and Seekers to kick off from the ground," Draco finished.

Pansy squealed. "Congratulations," she and Blaise said.

"Thanks," the other two said in unison.

Blaise drew Marieileen in for another round of kisses, and they soon forgot their friends.

"Where's Shira?" Draco asked Pansy quietly after another glance around the room.

"In the Hospital Wing."

"Why? What's happened?"

"Nothing has really happened. She was just a little... stressed, and needed to calm down." Pansy looked carefully at Draco's face as she spoke, checking his reactions. "She got a dose of Calming Draught, but madam Pomfrey advised her to stay over night."

"Oh," Draco said quietly, his face clear of every emotion. He sat completely still for a few seconds before he casually left the common room.

---

In her bed in the Hospital Wing, Shira was smiling. The potion madam Pomfrey gave her seemed to work quite well, she now felt completely at peace. Nothing could shake her out of that state. She tried everything, she replayed the break-up with Draco in her mind, she thought of her parents, and then the dreams she had been having. A slight smile still rested on her lips, and she thought that the world was a wonderful place.

After a while sleep began to overwhelm her, so she put away the book, pulled up the covers and made herself comfortable. But as soon as she closed her eyes, she opened them again as a sound came from outside the Hospital Wing door. Someone was coming, she could hear the footsteps come closer, they seemed to have a specific target in mind. And then they stopped, just behind the door. They began walking back and forth, suddenly hesitant. And then they walked away.

There had been something familiar about those steps, but Shira decided to shrug it off. Two minutes later, she was sleeping.


	8. The Calming Draught

Early Monday morning madam Pomfrey woke Shira in time so she could get her school things and go to breakfast.

"Do you feel any better?" Pomfrey asked as Shira pulled on her cloak.

"Yes, thank you, madam Pomfrey," Shira answered. "But how long do you reckon it takes until the draught has _completely_ worn off?"

"After you use the toilet, thirty minutes. So it'll probably be gone before your first class. But if you feel like you're getting more stressed than normal again, come right back for another dose, all right?"

"All right," Shira nodded. "Thanks again, madam Pomfrey. Good bye." She hurried out and down to the dungeons. Up in the dorm she did a Scourgify on herself and changed into school clothes. On her way up the stairs to the Entrance Hall, she began to feel the Calming Draught wear off. But at the same time, the feeling of peace in her mind remained.

"Thank Merlin," she whispered to herself. "Just hope it lasts until I can get the hell away from this school."

In the Great Hall Shira found Pansy sitting with Blaise, Marieileen and Draco. For a moment she stopped and hesitated, but found out she didn't care. She felt okay with everything and walked over to sit next to Pansy, which meant she had Blaise in front of her, and the other two just out of reach.

"Good morning," Pansy said. "Feeling better?"

"Good morning," Shira said smiling. "Yes, very much."

To everyone's amazement breakfast went smoothly, probably because not one word was spoken between Shira and Draco and Marieileen. The two latter were pretty much normal towards each other again, and Shira answered only to Pansy and Blaise. That was as good as it was going to get for now.

The rest of the day, the first day, of a calmer and more rational Shira went very well. In Potions she was thrilled to find out she didn't have to sit with Theodore, in fact, she sat alone. That meant having to work harder, not having anyone to cooperate with on the cutting and crushing of ingredients. But Potions was her favourite subject, and she enjoyed herself very much. The next period was the free one with Draco. Spent in the common room, it too went well. And even though Shira felt Draco's presence with her entire body, causing familiar tingles to flow through her, she didn't feel like going crazy about it. But she did go early to lunch, to prevent possible awkwardness if they went at the same time. In Defence there were nothing unusual, neither was Care of Magical Creatures. Although that last class had dropped very much in quality since it had been moved inside to classroom number three. Normally that would have enraged Shira, but today she only focused on how good it felt to see that Granger and Longbottom was missing from class. That felt so good, she didn't even think about what it could mean.

But at the end of dinner, something unexpected happened. The owls came flying in with all the mail that had been accepted as safe, and one of them landed in front of Shira. Upon seeing the familiar handwriting of Marcus, Shira eagerly took the letter and ripped it open.

_Hello, Nasty!_

_It's been a horribly long time since last time I wrote you, hasn't it? Well, how are you? I heard from Draco and Marieileen this weekend that the three of you aren't on good terms anymore. What really happened? I'm not asking to be nosy, but Draco and Marieileen tried hard to avoid the subject, so I got worried about you. All I want for you is that you are healthy and happy. And this is not the time to have unnecessary enemies._

Shira had to smile, despite the content. It had been a really long time since Marcus had fuzzed over her. Not since the Yule Ball in her fourth year. She had excitedly written him and told him that she got asked by a Durmstrang-boy to the ball, and Marcus had gone out of his wits with all the clichés. _Boys only got one thing on their mind. These Durmstrang-boys are sneaky bastards. Be careful._ And so on. She had then sent him a howler, yelling that she was in fact fourteen years old and could take very good care of herself, so stop being so damn overprotective. And who was to say that she was the one in danger of being seduced that night?

The rest of the letter was filled with everything Marcus had done since the last time they spoke together, and Shira skimmed through it. But when she reached the end, there was a note was a bit odd.

_PS! How is Pansy? I didn't get a straight answer from Draco and Marieileen about that either._

Never before had Marcus asked about the others in his letters. If there was something he wanted to know from them or if he just wanted to talk to them, he'd contact them himself. Why would he ask her about Pansy?

"How are you, Pansy?" she asked the girl.

"Uh, fine," Pansy answered a little confused. "Why?"

"Marcus is asking about you."

A light blush crept over Pansy's cheeks. "Oh, that's nice of him, I suppose."

"Is there something going on with you two?" Shira demanded, seeing the blush on her friend's face.

Pansy shrugged. "No, nothing. I don't know what he's up to now. But it's still nice of him."

---

The rest of the week went by in a flash. Every day the student body decreased little by little. At the end of the week there were only a handful of Hufflepuffs left and half of the Gryffindors were gone. The Ravenclaw house was still pretty much full, but Shira suspected that they were more worried about their exams than the war. Only the Slytherins were still full numbered. And they were the only ones who talked and joked and laughed and made any sound at all in the halls. Everyone else was quiet and jumpy.

Since all the Daily Prophets didn't come until Sunday, rumours wandered about deaths and "accidents". Every day there was someone who received a letter from mail-check with contents who either sent someone into crying fits, angered outbursts or made their faces stone cold. Madam Pomfrey should triple her already tripled order of Calming Draught.

Shira was still calm and rational. Of course the worry about her parents and Voldemort and Draco's father was still there, but she took it day by day. Habit had her still searching for Draco's figure at mealtimes, in classes and the common room. When she found his blonde head, she remembered that she couldn't talk to him anymore, even as a friend. It was sad to think about, but he had turned out to be a waste of her time. She had to get over him, and move forward, to the wizard her parents would pick out when she told them she wasn't with Draco anymore.

In one of her free periods she wrote a letter to her father. It was just a simple letter, with the standard "how are you" and "this is what I've been up to". Maybe, just _maybe_, he would read between the lines and send something back in which _she_ could read between the lines. She had heard from Pansy that Draco and Marieileen had heard some interesting things from Marcus, and she was very curious to know what it was. A feeling deep in her gut told her that it could be the news she had been waiting for for a long time. But Shira's pride prevented her from asking either of her two ex-friends what it was. She didn't even know how the tryouts went for them, whether they were now professional Quidditch players or not. And Pansy was stubborn enough to not say anything. Hopefully her father would at least tell her something of value, some hint of what Marcus had talked to her house-mates about. But Shira didn't tell her father that she had broken up with Draco.

So all was as well as expected at Hogwarts during a war. But in Potions after lunch on Friday, something happened that almost shook Shira out of the pleasant remnants of the Calming Draught. Slughorn, who became jumpier every day, had a simple potion planned for the lesson. The instructions appeared on the blackboard, where several steps had been removed and others had been switched with other potions. It was up to the students to find out the wrongs and make the potion right, in pairs. For Shira this potion was a simple task, she could do it in her sleep, without help. But when Slughorn announced who she would be working with, things got a little more complicated.

"Miss Lind, seeing as you both have done outstanding on all your assignments together, you and Mr. Malfoy will work together on this potion," Slughorn said motioning for Shira to sit at Draco's desk.

Her first instinct was to get the hell out of the classroom, but she sighed and made her way over, sitting down cautiously. They both nodded in greeting. Slughorn paired the rest of the class and signalled for them to start. Draco lit the fire and Shira began collecting all the ingredients they needed. Automatically the two went into the routine of chopping and grinding and sharing, working together perfectly as they had done so many times before. Not a word was uttered between them, it was a comfortable silence, and they didn't even notice that they were back to old habits until halfway through the potion.

Both had reached for the mortar, and both froze with hands in mid-air before they touched.

"You do it," Draco said lowering his slightly shaking hand. Shira didn't need to be told twice. She quickly grabbed the mortar and began crushing the dry nettle leaves.

An awkward silence grew between them, Draco waited for the leaves and Shira cursed the precise and slow way the nettle leaves had to be crushed in.

"So, how did the tryouts go?" she asked to break the silence, her stare fixed on the cauldron and her hands slowly crushing.

Draco stared at her in shock, he had not expected her to say anything, least of all that. "It went very well, I'm the new Seeker and Marieileen the new Chaser. We start in August."

"Congratulations," Shira answered unexcitedly.

"Thanks," he answered, trying to sound as unexcited as her. But he was a little hurt that she didn't seem to care.

The rest of the class went by in the same fashion. Both completely quiet, they finished the potion and handed it in to Slughorn when he dismissed them.

---

In the common room the same evening Shira and Pansy were studying together. Several times Pansy would snap up from her book and open her mouth to say something, only to change her mind. Eventually Shira couldn't control her curiosity and had to ask what it was Pansy wanted to say.

"I heard that you worked with Draco during Potions today," she answered a bit cautiously.

"Yeah. So?"

"I'm just curious to know how it went."

Shira shrugged carelessly. "It was quiet."

Pansy nodded and turned her gaze back to the book, but Shira could see she didn't read it. "What do you really want to know?"

Pansy smiled half-heartedly. "Did Draco seem strange to you?"

"Not more than usual. Why?"

"I hate to bring this up before you, but..." Pansy began, and lowered her voice before continuing, Shira had to bend forward to hear. "I wondered if he'd heard about the Dementors."

Shira's blood ran cold for a second, but she shrugged it away before stressing.

Pansy continued quickly: "I know he probably wouldn't say anything about it, and I haven't noticed much when I've talked with him, so I hoped perhaps you would have noticed anything."

"Can't say I did, notice anything," Shira said shaking her head while trying to remember everything from the Potions class. "If he has heard about it, which he most likely has, he hides it well."

After that, Shira couldn't keep herself from studying Draco every chance she got. The entire weekend she kept a close eye on his behaviour, trying to read _something_ from him. But he was as impossible as ever, and since she couldn't get close to him like she used to, eventually she gave up.

---

Monday morning came with sun and rain battling for reign of the skies. It was quite an interesting sight, if one bothered to stare up at the ceiling of the Great Hall. While eating her breakfast Shira noticed that during the weekend the Gryffindors had lessened even more in number, and now Ravenclaw House was thinning out too. It probably had something to do with what Shira learned from the Daily Prophets that had arrived yesterday. They had revealed horrifying news, for most people anyway. There had been an attack on the Ministry, and at the same time several small towns in the Muggle world had been attacked.

Really clever of The Dark Lord, giving the Aurors a headache figuring out who to prioritize. Of course they chose to rescue the Muggles first, having the Obliviators working on Memory Charms, some Aurors repairing the damages and other Aurors investigating. As of Sunday, they knew it had to be Death Eaters, but had no leads. How extensive the damages on the Ministry was, hadn't been clear from any of the articles. Either no one knew, or they didn't want to let people know how bad it was. At least the Minister was reported to still be alive.

Shira smirked to herself thinking back to the reaction that had run through the Great Hall when word on the attacks reached everyone, there had been gasps and cries and a few angered outbursts. Pansy had had a playful sparkle in her eyes when she read the article for Shira, and several other Slytherins had sniggered quietly.

Before she could revel more in the memories of Sunday, Pansy brought Shira back to reality by saying they had to get to class. Pansy went to her regular Transfiguration class and Shira found her way to the Potions room. As she sat down, Theodore walked quietly up to her desk and asked politely if he could please sit with her. Thrown back with shock, she nodded a reply. He thanked her, sat down and opened his book.

Last week had been a glorious one, where Theodore was concerned. He had left Shira pretty much alone, but he had obviously just been planning for this week. Because he came up to her and asked if he could sit with her in Defence that day too. And since they had no shared classes on Tuesday, he asked if he could study with her and Pansy in the common room. Shira was very suspicious, Pansy even more. But as long as he behaved, Shira couldn't see any problem with him joining them.

On Wednesday it was the same, Theodore asked to join Shira in Defence and then Potions. Pansy was becoming frustrated with it, for several reasons, and got a chance to talk to Shira about it at dinner that day.

"Why do you let Theodore hang around you when you dislike him so much?" she asked, her gaze fixed firmly on her friend.

"I don't know," Shira answered. "He's not doing anything wrong, so why not let him."

Pansy glared. "Don't you get why he's doing it?"

"Of course I do. But it will never work, so I'm not going to bother fighting with him."

"Shira, that's exactly what you should do, fight him. He'll never give up until you give in or tell him off once and for all."

"I have told him off numerous times, you know that. If he won't listen, I won't fight him. I know he'll never win, so let him have his fun while he can."

Pansy was about to say something back, but an owl swooped down in front of Shira who welcomed the distraction. "This will not be pretty," Pansy muttered, thinking about Theodore and one other person at Hogwarts who really wished to see Theodore gone.

Shira let out a deep breath when she saw her father's handwriting on the envelope. It meant that at least there wasn't anything horrible in there, it probably wouldn't have gone through security if there was.

_Dear Shira_

_Your mother and I are very sorry that we haven't written you in a while. We've been, and still are, quite busy, as I guess you understand. And your Demon is doing well, though your mother wish you would have taken him with you. She says he drives her crazy with missing you. Other than that your mother and I are doing fine._

_I am sorry I don't have time to tell you anymore than that right now. But Marcus told me he shared some news with Draco and Marieileen at his team's tryouts, I trust you have heard all about that now. So I beg you to trust me, and your mother, to keep ourselves safe. And please do not write to us before the war is over. Or there will be consequences._

_Study hard, Shira, I expect your N.E. to be outstanding! Your mother and I both love you very much._

_Your father_

I haven't heard anything from Draco and Marieileen, father, Shira thought sourly as she folded up the letter and put it away. You would be happy about that wouldn't you, father? At least that Draco isn't talking to me. Angrily, Shira folded up the letter and put it in her pocket.

"Everything all right?" Pansy asked.

"Smashing," Shira answered, stood up and left the Great Hall.

As she was halfway down the stairs down to the dungeons, someone called out her name. Turning around, she saw Theodore running down to her. "Are you going to study in the common room tonight?" he asked.

"Yes," Shira answered and began walking again. "That was the plan."

"Can I join you tonight too?"

"Sure."

They reached the common room and Shira muttered the password.

"I really enjoy studying with you," Theodore said softly following her inside. "You inspire me."

"Okay," Shira said impassively.

A few more students came in only minutes later, and then Pansy came in with Draco, Blaise and Marieileen. They found their regular seat by one of the fireplaces, but Pansy noticed that Shira and Theodore were sitting at the other end of the room studying together. She sighed and went over to them instead.

As she walked away, Draco followed her with his gaze and saw where she was headed. A groan escaped him, and he stood up and went straight to the dorm. Pansy saw this, silently cursing Shira for being so stupid and blind.

Draco wasn't seen the rest of that day.

---

"So, Shira, you seem to be quite close to Theodore again," Daphne stated casually in Herbology Thursday morning.

"What do you mean?" Shira asked glancing at Daphne's shadowed face. Since they had been restricted to Greenhouse 1, lessons usually involved simpler plants that they had covered before. Now they repeated the care of Devil's Snare, so the Greenhouse had a magical shield inside to block out the sun.

"Well, you just-" Daphne started, and had to get help from Pansy to remove the vine that had coiled up her arm. "You just hang around each other a lot, are you getting back together?"

Shira couldn't help but laugh out loud, and felt more than saw the glares from the rest of the class. "We are _not_ getting back together."

"What about Draco then? Are you two really through?"

"Him and I are definitely through," Shira said coldly. "He's all yours if that's what you wanted to know."

"Oh." Daphne seemed taken back by Shira's sudden change.

Pansy shuffled her feet uncomfortably and changed the subject. "Do you think we'll win the Quidditch Cup now that we're the only ones with the entire team still at school?"

Shira smiled to herself as Daphne began chatting about Quidditch, Pansy was a good friend. If only the end of the school year could come faster, so Shira didn't have to face Draco or curious House-mates anymore.

Later, at dinner, a dark familiar owl landed in front of Shira. "You've got the wrong person," she told the owl, knowing exactly whose it was. "Your master is just down the table."

The owl didn't move, it just stared at her like she was stupid and waved its leg. Shira saw that it was in fact her name, and only her name, on the envelope.

"I see you're popular these days," Pansy joked as Shira untied the letter. The owl ruffled its feathers and flew down the table do Draco. Probably hoping he would give it a treat.

"Of course I am," Shira smiled back. She could not recognise the handwriting, but since Mr. Malfoy was in Azkaban, it could only be one person who had sent this letter.

_Dear Shira_

_I hope you're not finding it too strange that I'm writing to you, but I had to. You probably remember the letter I sent to Draco, or rather both of you, a couple of weeks ago about my little chat with your mother. None of you replied, so now I'm afraid that I might have done something wrong. Draco has always replied quickly to his letters..._

_I never meant any harm by talking with your mother, I just wanted her to know my opinion, and make her think about it. I think I managed that, she was in good spirits when I left. So I beg of you __Shira, to please reply._

_I hope you and Draco are doing well together, let me know the moment he is not acting like a perfect wizard towards you._

_Narcissa_

Shira stared at the letter. She sent a letter to us both? About my mother?

"Who's it from?" Pansy asked.

"Narcissa," Shira answered quietly. She looked towards Draco. The owl was now gone, and he was busy chatting with Blaise and Marieileen. He probably had no idea his mother just sent a letter to her.

"What did she say?"

"Uh, n-nothing, nothing important," Shira said quickly. She downed the rest of the Pumpkin juice and took a few more mouthfuls of stew, before she hastily left the Great Hall with the letter in her hands. A pair of blue eyes followed her through the hall, knowing what she had in her hands.

No one was in the common room when Shira arrived there. She sat down in front of a fire place and read through the letter again. "I have to ask him about this," she said to herself. "I have to know what it's about."

First thing in the morning, Shira had Transfiguration with Draco. She decided that it would be an excellent opportunity to talk to him. When she saw Draco leave the Great Hall after breakfast, she waited a couple of minutes before following. In the Transfiguration classroom he had found a seat, and Shira walked up to the desk and sat down next to him.

Draco snapped his head around in surprise, and was actually quite happy when seeing it was her. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"There's something I need to ask you about," she said straight forward. "About a letter I got yesterday."

Before Draco got to respond, professor Tonks tapped her wand to her desk and everyone went quiet. "You all know what to do," she said. "Continue working on the diagram from Tuesday."

Shira and Draco found their parchments and began drawing. After a few minutes in silence, Draco had to ask, even though he thought he knew the answer. "What letter?"

"From your mother," Shira answered and pulled it out from her pocket. He read through it and handed it back. "What letter is she talking about?"

Draco sighed and leaned back in his chair. "She sent me a letter before I went to the tryouts, with some news for the two of us."

When he didn't elaborate, she turned to look at him with slightly narrowed eyes. "And?"

He sighed again, and looked into her eyes with a gaze that forced her to look at him. "She said she saw how troubled you were for not having your parents' blessing to be with me. So she went to see your mother right after we left the manor at Easter. And they talked about your parents' objections to our relationship. Mother wanted to know the reason behind it, and she wanted to talk them into accepting us."

"And did Narcissa succeed?"

"She thinks so, at least she got them thinking about it."

Shira slowly nodded.

"Why aren't you working on your diagrams, Mr. Malfoy, Miss Lind?" professor Tonks called out to them.

"Sorry, professor," both said in unison and got back to work.

Shira didn't know what to think about what Draco had said. It was awfully kind of Narcissa to do that, but there was no chance in the world that Delano and Ellyn would be supportive of Shira and Draco. So why bother? Now they had even gotten what they wanted, it was over, and Shira was free to marry any wizard they wanted.

Suddenly she thought of the last lines in Narcissa's letter. "Why haven't you told your mother we're not together anymore?" she whispered.

His response was to shrug and look at her with a gaze that was too familiar. She blinked in surprise, because no tingles went through her body, and no fluttering butterflies came to life in her stomach.

Perhaps the Calming Draught had cured more than her stress?

* * *

A/N

So, this chapter was mostly a filler. Interesting stuff will begin to happen in the next chapter. And the end is nearing... According to my calculations, ATL will be 12 chapters long. But don't worry, I'm planning a new story.

A little question for you all: Remember the card Pansy got for Valentine? Then go read Shira's letters in this chapter.

Now, please review, I love you if you do:)


	9. Desperation and a Date Never Forgotten

Draco could not get rid of the image of Shira from Transfiguration. After she had asked why he hadn't told his mother that they weren't together anymore, he had sent her the look that used to make her weak in the knees. Whenever he had looked at her that way before, she would melt in his arms, and they were lost to the world. That look had never failed, not on anyone. But Shira turned away from him quite unaffected, and didn't speak to him or look at him for the rest of the class, or day.

Somewhere inside of Draco it hurt to think about it, because he missed her presence around him so much. The last month he felt more and more lost every day, ever since finding out that he might loose his father soon. He also felt less than happy about Shira's mood after her night in the Hospital Wing. She had come out of there being so happy. She wasn't supposed to be happy. He had noticed how she was depressed and moody since their break-up. And then suddenly she turned around, and didn't seem to care anymore. Draco needed Shira to be unhappy, how else was he going to get her back?

Because he did want her back, there was no doubt about it. Marieileen's speech at the tryouts had made him acknowledge that. He wasn't completely sure how he felt about Shira yet though, but that didn't matter, and he had no time to figure it out. To get her back, he was ready to say anything she wanted to hear.

But she was happy! Without him! And that filthy Theodore was hanging around her still. He clearly had no shame in life, throwing himself at girls like that, Draco's girl no less. It was disgusting!

At the moment, the disgusting scene was right there for Draco to see again. Friday night in the common room, and they were studying, Theodore, Shira and Pansy. Why didn't Pansy do something to get Theodore away? It was obvious she didn't want him there. But Shira didn't seem to mind. She probably loved it.

Images of what Shira and Theodore might do when no one was around filled Draco's mind and he felt anger rise. With this anger, and a slight feeling of nausea, he slammed his books shut, gathered them and the parchment and marched up to the dorm to wallow in his depressing feelings alone. On the way he passed the sickening scene and breathed through his nose like a furious dragon.

No one was in the dorm at the moment, so Draco let himself fall onto the bed, sighing. For the first time in his life he felt truly insecure. The Malfoy charm and confidence did nothing for him. But he had to try to get Shira back anyway, didn't he?

Yes, he had to try. After all, Shira deserved to be with the best. And the best was him. No matter what anyone else might think.

---

The entire mood of the school became graver as the days passed. Shira walked the halls between classes and noticed that even the torches burned with less fervour and the rare sunlight seemed to glow with less warmth. Hogwarts was a depressing place to be for someone with a cheerful view on life, like Shira now had most of the time.

One thing that had always put a smile on her face was when people from the other houses were scared of her. So now that Slytherin was only one student short of being a full house, they felt they ruled the school. A small glare was all it took to send a younger Hufflepuff into squeals of terror. But of course, the Slytherins weren't stupid, they never did anything that could get them in trouble. They realised that any wrong move now, no matter how small, could have them expelled and facing the Wizengamot.

Shira did her best to look intimidating when she was outside the common room. Pansy looked at the slightly childish behaviour with a smile, and joined in whenever she felt like it. It was a really good time to be Shira. She was a scary Slytherin, she was over Draco, had a controllable stalker and had a good friend in Pansy.

Life could only be better if the Dark Lord won the war.

The only little thing bothering Shira was how rude she felt she had been when answering the letter that Narcissa Malfoy had sent. The first moment she had alone after asking Draco what his mother was talking about, she had written a short reply. _I had no idea you had sent us a letter, so I asked Draco about it. He hasn't shared his thoughts about it, but I thank you for trying. Though it's not worth wasting energy on._ That was all she had written, apart from hello and goodbye of course.

Narcissa had been nothing but nice to Shira, supportive and kind and caring. This was no way to treat the mother of an ex-boyfriend. Shira might even get into serious trouble for it, if her father ever found out. But she didn't need to deal with anyone from the Malfoy-family ever again, so it didn't really matter.

It was Wednesday and Shira was on her way from Potions to dinner with Theodore when she was thinking about all this with Narcissa. One thing she didn't see from her thoughts was that she should have told Narcissa that her relationship with Draco was over, but hadn't. She also didn't see that she hadn't gone back to referring to his mother as Mrs. Malfoy.

"What are you thinking about?" Theodore asked softly, bringing Shira back to reality and putting an arm around her shoulders.

"Nothing," she answered and discreetly twisted away from him.

"Why do you keep doing that?" he asked, trying to look hurt.

"Do what?"

"Turn away from me." He stopped, the hall was almost deserted. "You have to know by now that I want you, and it hurts when you lead me on and then turn away."

Shira stared at him. "I know you still have some kind of strange crush on me, but I am _not_ leading you on!"

"Really? Then why do you always sit with me in classes? Why do you have me study with you?"

"You are the one that always asks to sit with me, and study with me. And I thought that since you weren't bothering me, I'd let you do it."

Theodore suddenly smiled confidently. "I knew it!" he exclaimed happily and began walking up the stairs to the Entrance Hall.

"Oh, Merlin," Shira whispered to herself before climbing the stairs careful not to catch up with him.

In the Great Hall she found Pansy, and noticed with delight that Theodore sat far away from Pansy. He looked expectantly at Shira when she walked along the table, but when she strode past him and joined her friend, he glared at her back.

"I think you just pissed of Theodore," Pansy said and laughed a little.

"Good," Shira smiled and helped herself to dinner.

---

During the entire week Draco had thought about when the best time for talking to Shira was, and what he would say. Normally he would have gone straight up to her and let her know exactly what it was he wanted, and demanded she give it to him. But for some reason, he was very nervous about the whole thing.

Whenever it had been over with him and a girl, he hadn't wanted her back. At least not as a girlfriend. As a couple of hours of fun, maybe. But he wanted Shira back at his side. And she didn't seem to want him anymore.

He was starting to feel desperate now. Seeing Theodore around her, how she didn't mind him being there. Draco needed to talk to her, _now_. Since there were too many people in the common room during their shared free period on Thursday, and she wasn't alone at all the rest of the day, he decided he might try in Transfiguration Friday morning. At least then she wouldn't start a scene if he screwed up.

He watched carefully as she left the Great Hall that morning with Pansy. Just a minute later he walked after them. Outside the classroom they separated, and Shira went inside. Draco took a deep breath and walked in. Most of the students were there already, Tonks too. That was good. He walked over to Shira's desk and sat down next to her.

She turned around and stared at him in surprise.

"I need to talk to you," he whispered quickly before she had a chance to snap at him.

"About what?" she asked coldly.

This was going to be difficult, Draco thought. "About us."

Shira raised an eyebrow. "There's nothing to talk about." And she stood up and moved to another desk. He made an attempt to follow, but then she called out to Tonks and started asking questions about the homework they were to deliver that day.

---

"What's wrong with you?" Pansy asked as she met Shira outside the Charms classroom. "You look like you're about to murder someone."

"There's nothing wrong," Shira answered icily. "Transfiguration was just boring today."

Pansy raised her eyebrows as Shira stomped past and in to the classroom. Just then Draco rounded the corner, with the most controlled face Pansy had ever seen on him. It was like he was carved out of stone. She said a quick 'Hi' to him and went inside to join Shira.

"What did you do to him?" Pansy whispered.

"Who?" Shira asked.

"Draco. He doesn't look so good."

"I didn't do anything to him. Why do you think I did something to him just because he looks like hell?"

Pansy sighed quietly. "You both just had a shared class, you look ready to kill and he looks sad. Well, if you care to look beyond his façade anyway."

"Well, I didn't do anything." Shira shrugged and stared at the blackboard waiting for Flitwick to start the class. Just seconds later, the small professor came in through the door, levitated himself up to the stack of books and began lecturing about some new and advanced Charm. But Shira couldn't focus.

Why on earth was Pansy like this? Lately she had gotten some traits like Storme had. Meddling and giving advice. Or more meddling and giving orders, like telling Shira to drive Theodore away. And Shira kept saying that as long as Theodore wasn't doing anything wrong, she couldn't just push him away. She had already tried everything, and he didn't give up.

What was driving Shira even more crazy about Pansy was the mood changes she had when Theodore was around. Sometimes she could be very angry and snap for nothing, other times she seemed very sad. Shira had asked what that was all about, but all Pansy said was: "You'll get it sooner or later, I hope."

Charms eventually ended, and Shira still didn't get why Pansy was meddling or what in the world she hoped Shira would soon understand. The rest of the day went by uneventfully and in the same fashion as the last few weeks.

On Saturday however, Pansy disappeared in the middle of the day. Shira was left alone with Theodore, who followed her on her visit to the library and back to the common room. He started to remind her of Colin Creevey, the boy who was obsessed with Harry Bloody Potter.

At dinner Pansy reappeared, refusing to answer any questions on where she had been and what she had done. It wasn't until later that evening that Shira got to find out. Pansy had disappeared again right after dinner, and Shira noticed that Blaise, Marieileen and Draco were gone too.

In the common room Shira was halfway through a Defence essay, when Pansy came in. "Shira, could you come with me?" she asked, standing right between the two studying people, blocking Theodore's view.

"I'm in the middle of my essay here," Shira answered, not looking up. "The one due on Monday, remember?"

"This is more important than any homework," Pansy argued. "I know you would _really_ like to come with me." Something in her voice made Shira look up. As they looked into each others eyes, Pansy mouthed: "Marcus."

"Just give me a second," Shira then said and began packing up her homework.

"What's going on?" Theodore asked.

"I need to go with Pansy," Shira answered quickly. "Something has come up."

"Want me to go with you?"

"No, this is between Shira and me," Pansy answered him dismissively.

"Shira can answer for herself, and if she wants me to come with her, _I will_." Theodore had now straightened up and looked threateningly at Pansy.

"It's okay, Theodore," Shira said. "I don't need you. Just stay here." She quickly ran up to the dorm and dropped off her stuff, then followed Pansy out of the common room, leaving behind a slightly irritated Theodore. "Where are we going?"

"Draco said we'd all meet in the Room of Requirement," Pansy answered and stopped.

"Draco? Why are we going where he is?"

"Because he and Marieileen are the one who last talked to Marcus. _And_, I don't know where this room is, but Draco said you two have been there before."

"Oh, he did, did he?" Shira said through gritted teeth and took the lead.

"You don't like it there?" Pansy took a dare at a joke.

"The room is okay, it's just..." She paused, then added barely audible: "It's so filthy convenient."

They reached the corridor on the seventh floor and Shira walked back and forth three times, getting a puzzled stare from Pansy. But then there was a gasp from Pansy as a plain wooden door appeared, and they walked inside. Shira looked around, seeing how different it was from when she used to be there with Draco. It was now a copy of their common room, except there were only seats for five people. All comfortable arm-chairs in a large circle around a table. Shira took the chair next to Blaise, so Pansy could take the one next to Draco. No way was she sitting next to him today.

"You all right, there?" Blaise asked Shira quietly with a playful smile. "You don't look so comfortable."

"I'm fine," she muttered.

Draco took a deep breath and turned to Shira. "Marieileen and I had a little chat with Marcus when we were down in Falmouth, he shared some of what has been going on in the war and he wanted us to tell you all about it."

"Okay," Shira said, feeling happy about being able to look at him without having her insides going amok. "But why haven't you said anything about if before? It's been several weeks. What he told you must be old news now."

"He didn't have so much to say," Marieileen said quickly. "But we can't expect to be let in on every little secret either."

"Just get it over with, already," Shira said and huffed childishly at her ex-friends obvious attempt to avoid the question.

"You all know about the _mission_, right?" Draco asked.

Everyone nodded. "More or less," Pansy said.

"Well, it failed. Shira's mother sent a little message right after it happened. Do you remember what it said?" He said the last part to Shira.

"Yeah, of course I do," she said quietly. "'It didn't work out. Our friend on the other side was wronged, we've all been wronged. It is mayhem here, but I think he has a plan to make it right.' Word for word."

A strange look crossed Draco's face, before he blinked and continued. "Marcus confirmed all that, our spy had been found out about ages ago. The Order had been giving him false information all the time. But Our Lord knows now, so he can turn the false information to our advantage."

Shira interrupted before he said anything else: "My father headed that mission. Did Marcus say anything about him?"

Draco was about to answer that, but Marieileen beat him to it. "He did. He also said he knew you'd be 'a pain in the butt', his words not mine, until you knew everything. Mr. Lind is perfectly fine. Nothing dangerous happened during the mission, no punishments afterwards. Despite everything, the Dark Lord was satisfied. He did find out how things really were after all."

Shira nodded satisfied.

"What else did Marcus say?" Blaise urged his girlfriend to continue.

"Immediately after the blow of the mission, the Dark Lord made several new plans. One about revenge, but Marcus was only told it existed, he has no idea what it is about or when it is set in motion." Marieileen did an artistic pause. "But the most important plan was that he has set in resources to find Potter and end the war. Marcus doesn't think it'll happen until we have all left Hogwarts, so we might be able to step in and fight beside Our Lord."

"Really?" Pansy asked in excitement.

"Really," Draco answered and smiled. "He's going to need every witch and wizard he can get. It's said that the Order has more numbers on its side than anyone ever believed possible."

"But..." Blaise started, and stopped to think for a second. "It sounded to me that this mission was very important. What on earth was it really about and why is it okay if it caused 'mayhem' like Shira's mother said?"

"I don't know any more than you do, Blaise," Marieileen answered.

"Shira knows a lot more about it," Draco said, with a strange look on his face again as he looked at her. "Couldn't you tell the others what you told me?"

The way he spoke to her, almost as if things were like normal between them, annoyed Shira to no end. Something inside her wanted to shout "No, I won't tell them!" just because _he_ asked her, but she answered anyway. "You have to swear to never repeat this to _anyone_. It was one of the biggest missions ever, so much security around it, it was insane."

"We swear," Blaise, Pansy and Marieileen said in unison.

Reluctantly, Shira told what she knew. "The Dark Lord once split his soul into several pieces and hid them around the world. I don't exactly understand the whole thing, but it was to make sure he couldn't die. Potter has been hunting down these pieces for a while and destroying them. The Dark Lord wanted to save the last ones, so he sent my father and a few other Death Eaters to get them. Cover-up stories were made for everyone involved, and there were people stationed around the world to make sure these stories were acted out. I don't know what went wrong, but I'm guessing Potter got to them before my father.

"I don't understand anymore than you, Blaise, why everything turned out okay even though things were chaotic for a while. Let's just hope the Dark Lord has a foolproof plan."

"I'm sure he has," Draco said.

"And I can't wait to join in on the fight," Blaise said.

The conversation quickly turned away from Marcus and over to the possible fight, making Shira uncomfortable. "Was there anything else Marcus had to share? Or anything else I need to know?" she asked, cutting into the conversation.

"No, I can't think of anything else of importance," Marieileen answered.

"Then I'll be going," Shira said shortly and stood up to leave.

"Why can't you stay?" Pansy asked.

Shira muttered something incoherent, strode out of the door and shut it firmly behind her. She stopped right outside for a moment, drew a breath, and then started walking away with a smile on her face.

She had just rounded the corner at the end of the hall when she heard the door open again and someone running towards her.

"Shira, wait!" It was Draco. He came over and grabbed her arm.

"What?" she snapped and turned around, wrenching her arm out of his grasp.

"Can we please talk?" He looked very serious, almost a bit sad.

"I've talked enough with you today." She tried to sound as cold and unpleasant as she could.

"Then can you listen and let _me_ talk?" He stepped closer, staring into her eyes.

"No." She stepped back. "I promised Theodore I'd see him when I was finished here," she lied.

Draco's eyes went suddenly cold and his entire face was like carved out of stone. "Theodore? I see... Is there anything I can say or do to change your mind?"

"No, nothing," she said, turned around and walked away.

---

Shira did not have words for how good it felt to have finally heard some _real_ news. She had left the Room of Requirement feeling almost as good as when she was under the influence of Pomfrey's Calming Draught. Apart from Draco's attempt to talk to her, it had been a good weekend. Shira had gotten lots of homework done, and she had made plans for final revising since the N.E. were about a month away.

On Monday morning she walked to breakfast as usual with Pansy, feeling happy. The two friends chatted and laughed and were halfway through their toast and porridge when a voice rang through the air.

"All classes for the day are cancelled."

Confused murmurs filled the Great Hall, before the voice continued talking.

"Students are asked to check their common room notice boards for more information from your Heads of Houses, and a list of new rules to follow the next few days is available for everyone. Classes will be cancelled indefinitely. Please return to your common rooms as soon as possible."

"What the hell?" Pansy asked no one in particular.

The Great Hall emptied quickly, and Shira and Pansy decided they might as well go too. Down in the common room all the Slytherins were gathered around the notice board, reading the message from Slughorn. Eventually they left with a piece of parchment and Shira could get a clear view.

_All classes are cancelled, starting this Monday. We expect they will be back as normal in a few days, but for now it is indefinitely. We ask all of you to not ask any questions as to why we are doing this. There is nothing to worry about, if you follow the new rules. There is a copy for everyone, and I beg you all to read it carefully, and please _follow them_. Take advantage of this free time and study for your exams and O. and N.E.._

_Prof. Slughorn, Head of Slytherin House_

Shira took two copies of the rules and handed one to Pansy. They found a seat in the stuffed common room and began reading what on earth they were demanded to do now.

_1. No students are allowed outside the castle. No exceptions!_

_2. The Owlery is closed. All post will be collected and given out when classes are back. Every student with an owl as a pet need to bring them to the Owlery before 10 am._

_3. All classrooms except the ones on the ground floor will be locked up until classes are back. The open classrooms are there for students to have study groups. A few teachers will be there to help with studies, if needed._

_4. The library will stay open as normal, and will be at everyone's disposal._

_5. The Prefects are given full authority during this period. Obey the rules, and everything will be fine._

"What the hell is going on?" Shira asked when she finished reading.

"I don't know," Pansy answered.

Theodore came wandering over, sitting down next to Shira. "What do you think about all this?"

"I don't like it, and I have a bad feeling about it," Shira answered.

"Me too," Pansy said. "If they have to cancel classes, it's got to be something huge. Things were serious enough back in second and third year, and they really clung to everything then. Desperate to keep it going."

"But what bothers me the most," Shira said heatedly, "is that they won't tell us _anything_. What was it Slughorn said in that note? 'Don't ask any questions, there's nothing to worry about.' They're cancelling classes, for Merlin's sake! There's _got_ to be something to worry about!"

"Don't, Shira, I'll be here to protect you, no matter what happens," Theodore said, putting an arm around her protectively.

"Oh please," she said and shrugged his arm off. "It's not me I'm worried about. I can take care of my self."

"Don't be afraid to ask for protection, Shira, my protection." He was inching closer with a smirk on his face.

"Merlin, Theodore! Get off it!" Pansy cried out, waving her arms to emphasize every word. "I'm so sick of listening to your pathetic attempts of romancing Shira! Have you ever heard _anything_ she ever said to you? She's _not_ interested!"

"Shira can talk for herself, Parkinson! How many times do I have to tell you? And you can just leave if you don't like when we flirt!" A mad gleam shone in Theodore's eyes.

"Merlin! You're the only one doing the flirting. But I guess you're just too full of yourself to notice that she pushes you away and tell you off!"

"Shut up, Parkinson!"

"You can both shut up!" Shira said standing up. "I'm right here! Don't fucking talk about me like I'm not here!" And then she strode out, glaring at people on her way. Their argument had brought everyone's attention to them, but they slowly turned away as Shira's glare reached them.

---

No one knew what was going on at Hogwarts or outside of Hogwarts. During the first meal in the Great Hall after the new rules were set in motion, Shira noticed that several teachers were missing from the staff table. They weren't there for dinner either. The most important people in the school, headmistress and Heads of Houses, had just disappeared. Hagrid, Tonks and Vector were gone too. Moody had left a long time ago. But the rest was there.

It was really strange, with very few students, a handful of teachers, and only the library, houses and ground floor open. Sometimes, when Shira walked in the halls with Pansy, she couldn't help thinking that it felt lonely with just Pansy there. Hogwarts was a big castle, and now everything was so deserted. She missed having Marieileen, Blaise and Draco around her. But there was no way she would admit that to anyone, so she focused on the anger she felt for Marieileen and Draco, and everything was fine again.

Theodore had not taken to heart anything Pansy had shouted at him Monday morning. He still followed Shira almost everywhere she went, and tried everything to get her to admit her feelings for him. And he still held on to the politeness he obtained a few weeks ago. When Shira met him and Pansy again at lunch after she had ran out of the common room, they said nothing to each other, but both talked to Shira. This was really not that different from before, though Shira wished they could be more civil to each other. They were her only two friends at the moment.

It was amazing how much school work Shira managed to do during the "Hogwarts-lockdown", as the Slytherins now called it. In three days she had worked her way past the class schedules, even done some extra work, and began revising for her six subjects. Any less than Os on the exams were not acceptable.

Late on Wednesday evening she was on her way to the common room. The library had just closed and she was carrying an immense load of books about Transfiguration. As usual there was no one around, she had even been the only one in the library.

Suddenly McGonagall's voice boomed through the halls. "All students are to come to the Great Hall immediately. I repeat: All students must some to the Great Hall _immediately_."

"Oh, so she's back now," Shira said to herself and turned around. She wasn't far away, and was the first to arrive. When she walked through the doors, she saw that all the professors were there, those that had disappeared on Monday too. Pomfrey and Filch were there. Even Binns, and he rarely left his classroom.

Shira walked over to the Slytherin table, dropped down the books and sat down with a frown on her face. Seconds later Irma Pince came through the doors and joined everyone at the staff table. And not long after her, the students began walking in. Shira noticed most of them looked curious, and some of the leftover Gryffindors wore smiles on their faces.

"What's going on?" Pansy asked sitting down next to Shira. Theodore sat down on her other side, and Marieileen, Blaise and Draco joined in next to Pansy, much to Shira's annoyance.

"I have no idea," she said shrugging, and then pointed to the other end of the room. "But I don't like the smiles on those Gryffindorks."

Slughorn, Sinistra, Flitwick and Sprout walked out to their respective tables and counted heads. "All is here, Minerva," Slughorn said as the last one to count, having the most students at the moment.

McGonagall stood up and looked around at the students. The smile on her face made Shira shiver with dread. Then the Headmistress cleared her throat and walked forward. "Today is 30th of April 1998. A date that will never be forgotten in the Wizarding World, just as October 31st of 1981 was never forgotten."

The Great Hall was silent. Shira's heart dropped into her stomach, and she felt like crying. Without thinking she grabbed Pansy's hand under the table, the two girls looked at each other. Both read dread and disappointment in the others eyes. What was going to happen now?


	10. Friends

Shira sat picking her food dully. She felt cold and sad, and wore a strained smile. All the professors had come back, with dreadful news.

Harry Potter had defeated the Dark Lord.

The war was over, Lord Voldemort was no more. They had lost.

In the Great Hall there were now loads more people then it was an hour ago. Potter and his fan club were there, plenty of other Gryffindorks, and a few from other houses. There were adults there that Shira vaguely recognized as Aurors and Ministry workers, and some she had no idea who was. They were all celebrating in their filthy cloaks with burns here and there, faces full of dirt, hair astray.

Apparently it had been a surprise attack on the Death Eater headquarters. Potter and his gang had gone right in and blown the place apart, killing and capturing Death Eaters. And in the middle of the ruins Potter and the Dark Lord had their own battle. According to McGonagall it had been a spectacular fight that ended with Potter throwing the Killing Curse at Voldemort.

The captured and murdered Death Eaters were never mentioned by names. But Moody had said that not all of them had been there, and there were some that had gotten away. So Shira had no idea what had happened with her father, or the rest of her family for that matter. Marcus might have been there, his father too. Marcus' father wasn't so active anymore, but he was still a valuable asset to the Cause.

"Do you think we can go back soon?" Shira asked Pansy miserably.

"Doesn't look like they're about to settle down anytime soon," Pansy answered.

Shira groaned quietly and pushed her plate away. She had no appetite, thinking only of those at home. Lucky for the light side, knowing where their loved ones are, knowing if they're alive or not. None of the Slytherins knew. And it looked like no one would tell them.

"I miss Snape," Shira whispered. "His loyalties may be doubtful, but at least he would tell the truth."

"Yeah," Pansy said. "I wonder what side he turned out to be faithful to."

They didn't speak anymore. They put fake smiles on their faces again, and pretended to be as happy as everyone else. It was well past midnight when people began leaving. Some of the Ministry workers said they needed a good nights sleep before they released their colleagues in the work of cleaning up the damages the war had caused.

Happy to finally get away from the celebration, Shira walked quickly back to the common room. Most of her house mates went up to bed, some stayed downstairs to discuss what had happened. Shira immediately found herself a piece of parchment and a quill and ink.

"What are you doing?" Pansy asked as Shira sat down in front of the fire and dipped the quill.

"I have to write my mother," she answered. "I have to know if my father's alive."

"Me too," Pansy said. "Can I borrow parchment and quill from you when you're done?"

Shira nodded and hurriedly scribbled down her message.

_Mother_

_I need to know how things are at home now. Please tell me._

_Shira_

She folded it up and waited for Pansy to write her own letter, and then they both rushed to the Owlery to see if it had opened yet. On their way, they met several students that seemed to not want the celebrations to end. They sure were bold now that their dear hero had saved their asses. Not wanting to be anywhere near these smiling and laughing people, Shira and Pansy walked as fast as they could without running.

The Owlery had opened again, and they were surprised to see that there was only one person in there. They'd though everyone else would have wanted to send a word to their families, or come and get their owls back. But it was just one person in there, and both girls recognized him at once.

"Draco!" Pansy said.

He spun around, the owl on his hand fluttering its feathers irritably.

"Pansy, Shira," he said.

"Malfoy," Shira said coldly.

"Are you sending a letter home too?" Pansy asked.

"Yeah," he said, and then his gaze turned to Shira, though he was clearly talking to Pansy. "I want to know if my mother's heard anything from father."

A lump of ice formed in Shira's stomach. No wonder he wanted to know that. The Dementors were likely to be on the Ministry's side completely now, obeying every order. But Shira ignored the lump of ice and stared blankly back at Draco. When he blinked, Shira stepped over to the closest perch, eyeing a fluffy grey owl.

"You can send your letters with my owl, if you like," Draco offered. "It's hardly a detour at all."

"No thanks," Shira said glancing back at him. "I'll use a school owl." And then she left Pansy to take Draco's offer, and chose the grey fluffy one for herself. She tied the letter to its leg, told it were to fly and then walked outside to wait for Pansy.

Only seconds later Pansy and Draco came out. Draco's eyes were stuck on Shira until he had passed her, she avoided his gaze and walked into a step next to Pansy.

"I shouldn't say this to you, because you would probably kill me, but I just can't keep quiet anymore," Pansy said when Draco was out of sight.

"What?" Shira asked eyeing her.

"I know you're not particularly fond of Draco at the moment, but is that any reason to treat him like you do? You are either stupid or blind not to see how your behaviour affects him." Pansy stared straight ahead as the walked side by side.

"You're right, you shouldn't say it. And if I'd treated him badly, believe me, you'd know," Shira said emotionlessly.

None of them said anything until they entered the common room again. Almost everyone had gone to sleep. Only a few fifth years, Theodore and Marieileen, Draco and Blaise were still up. Shira went over to Theodore, and Pansy followed, but then she said she needed to talk to the others and turned back.

"Where have you been?" Theodore asked as Shira sat down opposite him.

"The Owlery, I wanted to send a letter to my mother," she answered and stifled a yawn. She was very tired, but didn't want to go to bed yet. And since the professors wanted to give everyone a good night's sleep after the celebrations, classes weren't reinstated until after lunch the following day. Which meant Shira only had Charms, so sleep could wait.

"What are your thoughts about all of this?" she asked Theodore. Not that she wanted to know, but it would keep her awake.

"I hate it," Theodore answered simply and aggressively. "I don't understand how it could go so wrong. My impression was that it looked pretty good, that we would actually win this time around. But no! Potter had to drown in a cauldron of Felix Felicis and destroy everything! Because that's all that it was, _luck_!"

Shira had to laugh at Theodore's anger.

"It's nothing to laugh about," he snapped, glaring at her.

"I know, I know!" she said and stifled the last waves of amusement. "It was just funny the way you were so casual and then suddenly turned into an angry giant. Might be funny because I'm tired."

Theodore calmed down and smiled. "And what are your thoughts about all of this?"

"I'm not happy either. I'm worried about everyone I care about and I'm pissed that we weren't able to partake and maybe be the tip of the scale."

"You're worried?" Theodore asked and leaned forward and tried to take her hands. But Shira moved away and ignored Theodore's sigh of frustration.

"Yeah, I'm worried. But I'll live through it." Her voice was cold.

They fell silent. Shira stared at the table between them. She noticed that Theodore kept staring at her and that he sometimes cast a glance to the other end of the room where she knew Pansy sat with everyone else.

A thought suddenly sprang to her mind. She thought about when she was in the Room of Requirement with the rest and talked about the war. "He was defeated just while we sat talking about joining in on the fight," she said quietly.

"What?" Theodore asked, snapping his head back to her.

"Nothing," she answered. "I'm going to bed. Goodnight." As she stood up, she couldn't hold her curiosity anymore and glanced towards her housemates, hoping to see what Theodore looked at. With a mix of shock and anger she saw Draco staring at her. She turned quickly away and walked up to the dorms, vaguely registering that Theodore called 'goodnight' after her.

---

After the fatal day of Voldemort's downfall the weather seemed to suddenly realise it was May. Every day was warm and sunny and there wasn't a cloud to see for miles. The halls were full of light, everyone was cheerful and they were laughing and joking. Even the teachers were seen joking amongst each other. But every now and then a dark look crossed some people faces, even though the war was over it hadn't been without casualties.

On the first Saturday after the big battle, there was a memorial in the Great Hall. It was for those students who'd had family and friends lost to the war. The individual funerals would be held the next weekend on the Hogwarts grounds.

Shira actually thought the Great Hall looked beautiful when she arrived with Pansy and Theodore for the memorial. Black draperies with a tiny Hogwarts crest on the bottom left hung from the ceiling, and the house tables had been replaced by benches in rows facing the staff table. It looked like the memorial for that Diggory boy three years ago, but the light made it different this time. It was dim, but at the same time it shone bright. And with the ceiling reflecting a lightly clouded sky, the sun filtering through the thick white mass, the light was almost ethereal.

"Let's sit here in the back," Pansy said quietly. They inched their way quietly into the row in the very back, getting glares from everyone else.

The Great Hall was filling up quickly with students, some had family with them. The students that hadn't been gone for so long came back too, and it was said they were staying to finish their year. So by the time everyone had found their seats, the Great Hall was as full as it had been during the Triwizard Tournament.

Minister for Magic, Rufus Scrimgeour, rose from his chair next to the staff table and walked slowly towards the podium in the centre. He looked very solemn, and Shira thought his hair was a lot greyer than she remembered.

"Students, witches, wizards, professors and staff. This is a bittersweet time. The war is over, and peace is finally upon us. However, our loss is great. There is not one person in here today that has not been affected by the war. Our sacrifice is great..."

Shira's mind drifted as the Minister continued his speech. She though about her parents and Marcus, and wondered about where they were and what they were doing. Her mother had not answered the short letter. Every time the post owls swooped into the Great Hall she was terrified. She wanted the answer, but at the same time dreaded whatever it would bring. It was some consolation that Pansy hadn't heard anything either. Their parents were probably just being cautious, nothing to worry about.

Maybe she should write Marcus? He would answer her right away, even if he couldn't say anything of value. But a reply would mean he was alive. And if something had happened to her parents, he would know and tell her, she doubted anyone else from St. Mungo's or the Ministry would bother letting her know. Yes, she would write Marcus, the moment this memorial was over.

The Minister was still talking. Sniffing could be heard throughout the room, a sneeze here and there. Shira gritted her teeth. They didn't have any right to be sad, she thought. They'd only lost a few friends. She and her friends had lost their leader and master. The one to save them all from a world slowly going under. By the hands of filthy Mudbloods and blood-traitors.

The sound of a deep sigh caught Shira's attention. She looked up, no one else seemed to have noticed. A second sigh came and on the row in front of her she saw Draco's shoulders rise and fall in time with the sound. And then he was still. Shira felt herself actually feeling sorry for him. She knew he must be thinking about his father and the rumours of the Kiss. A part of her wished they were on speaking terms again. He had been her friend for almost seven years, and it was strange to suddenly put all that behind her. All though she was very much over him, she still cared.

Pansy shifted beside Shira, and she focused on the Minister. But he wasn't there anymore, McGonagall stood in front of them now.

"...bravely, let's have two minutes of silence to remember and honour those we lost," the headmistress said and bowed her head solemnly. Heads went like a wave through the Great Hall, and Shira bowed her own head, listening to the eerie silence.

---

It was now two weeks since the Dark Lord's final fall. The Daily Prophet kept praising Harry Potter, and his face was all over every cover, every day. It was sickening. Pansy had cancelled her subscription, saying that she lost her appetite every time the owl delivered the damn newspaper at breakfast.

Damage control in the Muggle world was finished and the final repairs of the Magical World had begun. There wasn't much to do materialistically, but there were trials and hunts. Just like the last war, people claimed to have worked for Voldemort under the Imperius curse. And the last of the real Death Eater had to be found and brought to justice. Shira was not scared about that. As far as she knew, her father had never been suspected for Death Eater activity.

School was back to normal, except that there were still fewer students, and the exams were off. Not the O. and the N.E., but everyone else's. While they were out in the grounds enjoying the sun and the lessened burden of homework, the fifth and seventh years worked hard in the common rooms and in the library. Shira felt like she would never get through all the revision and homework. It was less then a month left until the most important tests of her life, and she had to admit she was nervous. And she was convinced that if she kept walking back and forth between the library and the dungeons, she would waste away to nothingness. But something kept her going no matter what.

As planned, she had written Marcus right after the memorial. His reply came only two days later, saying that they were all fine, no scrapes or bruises whatsoever. He had been on a visit to her parents' manor when he received her owl. Her mother had said they'd never gotten an owl, and hoped that Shira would stop worrying so much. Marcus finished the letter with demanding that she focus on her N.E., and if she didn't get Outstanding on all of them he would never talk to her again.

What on earth had happened to the school owl Shira sent to her mother, she didn't know and didn't care. She only focused on revising, knowing Marcus' threat was empty, but heeding it anyway. If she didn't get all Os she'd stop talking to herself too.

At the moment she was going through her old Transfiguration books. It was amazing how complex Transfiguration really was, with all the charts and diagrams. She couldn't understand how she had managed to pass the class all these years, and then make it into the advanced class.

She closed the book from her first and second year and slammed it onto the table. Even that material seemed extremely difficult.

"Something wrong?" Theodore asked glancing up at her.

"No," she snapped, and glanced around the common room to locate Pansy, finding her where she had wandered off to very often lately, Storme's gang. Shira had a feeling it was because of Theodore, and couldn't really blame Pansy for wanting to get away.

"It looks like you could use a break," Theodore said leaning forward.

"No, I'm fine, I just need to focus more."

In an instant Theodore got up and rushed behind Shira. He put his hands on her shoulders and started massaging. Instinctively Shira was about to shake him off and yell at him, but it felt really good. A moan escaped her as he loosened a particularly hard spot in her neck.

"I'm good, aren't I?" Theodore had leaned down and whispered in her ear. "You like it?"

Shira shuddered, there was something she didn't like in his voice, something dangerous. He sniggered, mistaking her shudder for shivers of pleasure.

For another five minutes he gently massaged her, loosening every knot and tense muscle. Shira had tried hard to not moan again, but had failed miserably.

"I didn't know I was that stiff," she said as Theodore sat down in his own chair.

"I have the ability to find spots you didn't know you had," he said with a smirk.

"Right," she said and went back to _Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration_.

"You don't believe me?" He sounded slightly offended.

"I know all my spots, and you wouldn't find them if you had a lifetime to try," she said and shuffled through the pages of the book, trying to find the chapter she last read.

Again Theodore leaned forward, and now his eyes held a gleam that Shira liked less than the tone of his voice earlier. "And you're never going to let me try."

"Of course not," she said matter-of-factly. "Why would I?"

"Because we want to be together and we _should_ be together."

Shira sighed, she was so tired of this. "I'm not even going to answer that, because you won't listen to what I say anyway." And then she grabbed her things and went up to the dorm to continue studying there. Two pairs of eyes followed her until she disappeared from view in the stairs.

---

Shira had no time for fun these days. She drowned herself in books and notes and studied like never before. It made her not think so much about the fact that they had lost the war, and that they were now at the mercy of every blood traitor and mudblood in the world. The thought was a bit scary. So insane studying was a perfect way to occupy the days.

Theodore was always around. He had started offering her shoulder massages several times a day, but she declined every time, preferring to ache rather than giving him false ideas. Pansy joined them sometimes, but she still wandered off to the others. It made Shira feel a bit alone, but she was too proud to do anything about it. And as long as Pansy was there from time to time to catch up, it didn't really matter. Studying and revising took so much time, that a social life was out of the question.

One professor that tried to make things a little bit easier for the students was professor Tonks. Although Transfiguration was a difficult subject and the advanced class very much so, homework and practise was almost the only thing that helped you pass. Tonks did give the same amount of homework as the rest of the teachers, but she didn't require as much to be handed in. So Shira enjoyed that class very much, it almost overshadowed the fact that she shared it with Draco.

Sometimes still, Shira noticed he tried to approach her. It was mostly during these lessons, he would approach her carefully and she would bury her face in the book or look very busy looking through notes. Sometimes she even went so far as pretending there was something she didn't understand and needed to ask Tonks about it.

But this one day, towards the end of May, Draco managed to corner Shira at the end of the class. She packed her stuff as fast as she could, but irony made professor Tonks call Shira to the front of the room.

"I am a bit worried about you, Miss Lind," Tonks said. She was not able to pull off the concerned look with that bubblegum pink hair and childish face.

"Why's that, professor?" Shira asked.

"I am referring to all the questions you've had lately. When I took over this class, Minerva told me you were exceptionally good, always getting Os on your exams. And you've lived up to my expectations throughout this year. Though your homework and assignments are excellent, you seem to have trouble grasping the topic as easily as before."

Shira was about to answer, when Tonks continued. "If it's aftershock or any concerns about what happened in the war or the time after, we can arrange for you to talk to someone. Madam Pomfrey also has some good potions to help with that."

For a moment, Shira stared at her. Was she for real? Or did she want to know something about her family? Before the silence dragged on too long, Shira answered. "Oh no, professor, it's nothing to do with that, everything is fine. And I'm not having trouble with the subject. I am just asking to make sure I have everything right. This is the N.E.W.T year, and I want to do my absolute best."

Professor Tonks sighed, and seemed to deflate in her seat. "That's good to hear! That everything is all right, I mean." She began collecting her notes and getting ready to leave as she continued speaking. "And I am happy that you're so focused on your exam, I know you'll do well. And if you have any more question I'd be happy to answer them for you."

"Thank you, professor," Shira said and smiled sweetly. Tonks nodded and smiled and hurried out of the classroom, leaving Shira to finish packing. It was then she noticed that Draco had lingered.

He walked over to her and sat casually on the table in front of Shira. She ignored him and closed her bag, ready to go. Then Draco hopped down from the desk. "Wait," he said.

She stopped.

"I want to talk to you." He stepped in front of her, looking her directly in the eyes, holding them with his.

"I don't have time, I'm almost late for Herbology." She tried to walk past him, but he grabbed her shoulders and held her back.

"I _have_ to talk to you," he said forcefully. "_Now!_"

Shira's eyes flashed in anger. "And I _have_ to go to Herbology! Now let me go!" She tried to wriggle free, but his hands held her tight.

"Then can you promise we'll talk later today? After dinner?"

"Fine!"

He immediately let her go. "Good. I'll see you then." With a smirk, he strode out.

Shira waited one minute, letting him go far away, before leaving herself. On the way to Greenhouse 3, she swore to herself that she would not talk to Draco after dinner. The only reason she agreed was to make him go away. Theodore could be her rescue. He would be delighted to walk her back to the common room, and so Draco would stay away.

With a smile Shira entered the Greenhouse, greeted Pansy and Daphne, pulled on her dragon-hide gloves and got ready for the class. She was in an unusually good mood, and it lasted all through Herbology and Charms and the free period. At dinner she sought out Theodore and sat down next to him.

"Well, this is nice," he said and helped himself to pea soup.

"Yeah, horribly nice," Shira muttered barely audible, but smiled at him.

Throughout dinner, Theodore did most of the talking. Shira didn't really pay attention until he stood up to leave. She wasn't even finished with her own dinner.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"I got a message from Slughorn earlier today, he needed to see me after dinner," he answered. "And he just left, so I'm going after him."

"But... but..." Shira sat gaping like a fish, staring after him. Quickly she looked down the Slytherin table, Pansy had clearly left early too. So Shira took her time finishing, filling only a quarter of the spoon with soup, taking tiny sips of pumpkin juice. Eventually the food and bowls disappeared and the Great Hall was almost empty. With a feeling of defeat she started for the common room.

Before she even reached the stairs down to the dungeons, he came for her. He had clearly been waiting.

Draco smiled at her and beckoned with his head towards the hall of classrooms. But Shira went for the stairs. "No!" Draco called out and blocked the way. "Shira, I need to talk to you," he pleaded. "Please."

"We don't have anything to talk about," Shira replied.

"Maybe _you_ don't have anything to say, but _I_ need to say something to you. And you did agree to talk today. Can't you just please come with me?"

Shira looked at him, there was something in his eyes that she had never seen before. She didn't know exactly what it was, but it made her mind change reluctantly. "Make it quick," she said and started down the hall. "Where to?"

Draco hurried to her side, leading her to an empty classroom. Sighing, Shira realised this was the exact same classroom she had taken Theodore into when she made one of the two huge mistakes of her life. She sat down on a desk. "Spill."

Suddenly Draco looked very uncomfortable. His hands fidgeted with his robe, and he started walking back and forth, but suddenly he plumped down on a desk and grabbed the sides of the table so hard his knuckles whitened.

Shira tapped her fingers on the desk impatiently.

"I'm s–" Draco started. He sighed painfully. "I think I'll make this as plain as possible." He looked down at his shoes. "I want you back."

The classroom was silent. A drop of a needle would have sounded like thunder. Shira was staring with eyes the size of bludgers at Draco's still bent blonde head. "What?" she eventually said in a croaking voice.

Draco looked up at her. His blue eyes boring into her green ones. "I want you back. I _need_ to have you back. And... I'm sorry for anything I did to break us up."

Shira panicked. She thought she was over him, she thought the Calming Draught had fixed that. But here she was, the butterflies were suddenly alive again, her heart felt like it beat on overtime and so many different kinds of tingles went through her body. Then her thoughts flew around in her head like Firebolts on holiday. The feelings were back, so clearly she would love to have him back. But the memories of the pain she had felt and what a complete wreck she had been when they broke up was also there. She did not want to feel that again.

"No, no, no, never!" she said. "Not again." And she made for the door, desperate to get out of this classroom where so many bad things seemed to happen to her. But Draco was on his feet almost before she took the first step and grabbed her arms. Shira struggled against his hard grip, but he held firmly.

"Don't walk out on me again," he said. He was as desperate to make her stay as she was to leave. "I want you. I need you. _Please_ don't go."

Shira stared into his pleading eyes. Some warm fuzzy feeling stirred deep inside her, almost making her relax and give in. And then she realized that that was exactly what she had to do. She let herself breathe out and a small smile crept over her lips. "Oh, Draco..." she said softly.

Immediately Draco loosened his grip and sighed with satisfaction. He walked backwards to sit on the desk, gently pulled her with him. Then he let go of her completely, not wanting her to feel trapped. "Thank you," he said happily.

For a few moments they just looked into each others eyes, smiling. Then Draco closed his eyes to prepare for what he was going to say next, and Shira took the opportunity. She jumped backwards, scrambled around a couple of desks to the left and rushed for the door. But Draco wasn't a professional Seeker for nothing, as she was just feet away from the door when he caught up. He grabbed her right arm and spun her around brutally, shoving her against the wall beside the door. Shira didn't have any time to react before he crashed his lips down on hers, forced her lips apart and thrust his tongue into her mouth.

Shira was fighting with herself. Heat rose in her body, and it felt like her nerves were under the Tickling Charm, especially certain interesting parts. At the same time everything in her screamed 'NO'. Both her head and her heart wanted to kiss him back, _and_ kick him in the groin.

The latter option won as her free arm felt for the door handle. She found it, and her knee shot upwards right into Draco's valuables. He doubled over and a strange sound came from him. Shira wrenched open the door and ran for her life.

"Shira!" Draco cried after her, his voice full of pain.

She kept running, tears threatened to spill, heart beating wildly. There were a few students in the halls, she bumped into a few of them. They yelled at her, but she didn't care. All she cared about was getting far away from Draco. He just caused heartache, confusion and made her feel too much at once.

Suddenly she ran straight into something. She fell down, scrambled up again to run, but was held back by someone.

"Shira?" a familiar voice said, but nothing clicked in Shira's mind, she let out a wailing sob and tried to wriggle free.

Then a hand came in contact with her cheek, hard. Her breath stopped for a moment and she saw who the person in front of her was.

Storme.

"Are you calm now?" Storme said with her eyes full of worry.

Shira didn't know what to do, except nod. Here she was, running away from the wizard she loved, who wanted her back, and now she was standing in the middle of the hall with her ex-best friend, who looked to be seriously worried about her.

"What happened?" Storme asked, as if nothing had been wrong between them.

"He wants me back," Shira said before she could help herself.

Storme didn't seem to have any problem understanding what that meant. "And so you are running from him in fear?"

"I can't take being hurt like that again."

"Why would he hurt you again?"

"Because he is who he is. And I was so stupid and went in too deep." Shira was amazed at herself. Why was she standing here, admitting everything to her enemy? But as they looked into each other's eyes, an unspoken and mutual understanding and apology passed between them.

"Come on," Marieileen said. "Let's go somewhere else."

---

A couple of hours later, Shira found herself in the girls' dormitories, laughing with Marieileen. They had walked down to the dungeon and locked themselves in the dorm. There Shira had told Marieileen about everything from the break-up to just now in the classroom. What they were laughing at was Theodore, how Shira had pierced his hand and how she had punched his nose.

"You should have given him a kick in the groin too, like you did with Draco. Merlin knows we don't need any mini-Theodores," Marieileen said.

Shira was trying hard to compose herself, after talking and joking it was like something had come loose in her and she couldn't stop laughing. Several shaky breaths later, she was calm enough to talk. "I kind of hope I broke Draco, Merlin knows we don't need any more of him either."

Marieileen coughed at that, but didn't comment it. Instead she thought back to what Shira told her about the incident with Draco and her own chat with Draco almost a month ago. "So do you want him back, even though you won't take him back?"

"No," Shira answered firmly. "I don't want him back."

"May I ask why?" Marieileen asked cautiously.

Shira thought for a moment. "I don't think I could handle it. I know what he's like, I always knew. But I went in too deep, and it hurt more than anything I've ever felt before. I don't ever want to feel that again, and with him I will. So next stop is an arranged marriage, with mutual respect and maybe fondness, but no love.

"I'm not even going to comment on arranged marriage, you know my view on that. But why do you think you'll be hurt by him again? Do you really think he would do it?"

"Yes."

"What if he's changed?"

"Yeah, bloody likely!" Shira almost laughed again.

"Did you know that..." Marieileen hesitated before continuing. "Did you know his father will receive the Kiss on June 1?" She said this quite casually, but Shira knew her, and heard a seriousness rarely found in Marieileen.

"No! No? That's insane!" Shira cried out.

"It's true. Mrs. Malfoy wrote him last week. They're not allowed to see Mr. Malfoy before or after it happens, and they aren't allowed to write him either. You'd think the Ministry with their sick ideas would allow visitors after the Kiss. But not even then..."

"Oh, Merlin," Shira whispered.

The memory of the night when Draco told Shira about the rumours about the Dementors passed through her mind. What she saw in Draco's eyes that night... And now his father will actually get the Kiss. In just a few days Lucius Malfoy will not know his son or his wife anymore. He'll be an empty shell and they'll never see him again.

"Oh, Merlin," she whispered again.

"So I don't think Draco's exactly the same as he was," Marieileen said just as casually as before. Her gaze was intense, piercing Shira.

"It doesn't really matter. I feel incredibly sorry for him, I really really do. But it's a huge risk to be with him, and I am not willing to take that chance again."

"I can't help but feel sad that you feel that way. Love is supposed to-"

"To hurt! I know! I've been hurt, no need to be again. Coming from him it's just too much for me to handle... Plus, I don't really have any feelings for him anymore."

At that Marieileen couldn't help herself and snorted. "Whatever you say."

Just twenty-four hours earlier, Shira would have snapped and yelled at Marieileen for that comment, but it felt so good to have her best-friend back, that she brushed it off with a shrug and a smile that said she knew best.

* * *

A/N

A thousand thanks to my wonderful friend, Ann-Marie. She gave me the basic idea for almost everything that's happening where Draco and Shira's relationship is concerned, after their break-up. What would I have done without you, AMA?

So, I'm a Trusted Author at HPFF! Yay! I'm so incredibly happy! Yay! Yay! Yay!

Enough of that. Only two chapters + and epilogue left of Antidote! Keep up to date on the updates in my blog! There's a link to the blog in my signature at the forums!

I love reviews:)


	11. The Room of Requirement

Shira was like a different person. Being reunited with Marieileen had made her very happy. And the two of them and Pansy would go back to old habits of retreating to the dorm or finding a secluded spot in the common room and talk and be all girly when they needed to. Shira enjoyed these breaks from studying and felt like they energized her more than a good night's sleep. Some things were still strange and awkward though, they couldn't all hang together, boys and girls since she was the only one who wasn't friends with Draco. She wanted to, now that the Ministry was soon going to perform Kisses on captured Death Eaters, but it'd just be trouble letting him back into her life.

When Shira wasn't with her best friends she was with Theodore. Marieileen didn't like that. And she didn't share her thoughts about it when the goblet was full like Pansy did. No, Marieileen had something to say about it whenever she came in hearing range of Theodore. _You're really pathetic, Nott, going after girls that so clearly don't want to be with you. You don't have the balls to make a woman, or man, happy. You have no social intelligence. You act like a bad breed of Gryffinpuff._ That last one made Shira smile. Because it was kind of true. Cocky like a Gryffindor and stupid like a Hufflepuff. Marieileen was incredibly mean to the poor boy, but he stood his ground and never left Shira's side when she was out of Pansy and Marieileen's grasp.

Draco kept his distance again. As far as he was concerned the little incident in the classroom never happened. Though the whole school probably knew about it, they'd have heard him cry out her name in pain and had put two and two together when she came running like a maniac. But Shira was happy that he didn't try to talk to her again. In the next Transfiguration class he held his distance, though she could sense his eyes on her from time to time. It was unnerving, and all she wanted to do was to whip out her wand and curse his eyes out.

The weekend came and Shira found herself out in the grounds with Pansy and Marieileen. The sun was shining and summer had come. Almost the entire school was out, but the three girls had found a quiet place to lie down, away from the noisy students, still chatting happily about the Chosen Bastard and his victory.

"Have you heard anything from Marcus lately?" Pansy asked casually. Her eyes were closed as she let the sun lick her face.

Shira frowned, her eyes closed in the sun too. "No, not since he wrote to say that everyone home was alive and well," she answered.

"Oh..."

"Why?"

"Just wondering."

"Pansy!" Marieileen said demandingly. "Why were you wondering that? In that so-called casual tone?"

"No reason! I was just... Something's not right, in my head."

Now Shira was becoming curious and opened her eyes. She turned her head and saw a very light blush in Pansy's face, she was staring blindly at the cloudless sky. "What do you mean?" Shira said.

"I don't know." The blush got deeper. "I've been putting things together, trying to see the connection, and I... No, I don't want to tell you until I'm sure I'm right."

Marieileen sighed slightly disappointed, but they both respected Pansy's decision. She rarely kept anything big from them, so when she did, it had to be for a good reason.

All three of them stared up to the bright sky. A couple of owls flew above them, coming from the Owlery with letters tied to their feet, hooting at the bright sun. Shira got to thinking about Draco, wondering if he would get an owl from the Ministry when the Kiss has been executed on Lucius. She doubted the Ministry would bother though, the Slytherins who had friends and family go down in the battle between the Dark Lord and filthy Potter were notified by other family-members, and even they weren't notified properly. Shira really hoped Draco would be fine, that he'd didn't flip out or take some sort of revenge.

"I can't stop thinking about Draco," Marieileen said, it seemed the owls had made her think of him too. "I can't imagine how I'd feel if I knew my father would get the Kiss. It's so horrible! Mr. Malfoy hasn't done anything wrong!"

"I can't stop thinking about it either," Pansy said quietly. "You know it's happening on Monday, Shira?"

"Yes," she answered in a whisper.

"I get so angry at the injustice of it all!" Marieileen said aggressively. "The Ministry is just as bad now as they claimed we were all along!"

"I know," Pansy agreed. "I haven't heard anything of a trial either, for Mr. Malfoy or any of the other Death Eaters receiving the Kiss. Father has never talked about it to me. Have your father ever mentioned anything about it, Shira?"

"No," Shira said just as quiet as before. She sat up and stared out over the lake. Her knees were against her chest and she wrapped her arms around them.

"Is something wrong?" Marieileen asked and laid a hand on Shira's back.

She shook her head. Once again her body and heart were fighting for control. The feelings for Draco had come back again when they had the incident in the classroom. And as June 1st came closer and closer, the urge to be with him became so strong she didn't know what to do. She wanted to hold him close, comfort him when he missed his father, love him... Longing gripped her, and it felt almost like that moment on the train back in September, when her feelings for him had changed so drastically. She sighed, and could almost feel Marieileen and Pansy exchange knowing glances behind her back.

---

The weekend was incredibly long. Monday took forever to arrive, and Shira got more and more quiet. She noticed that Pansy, Marieileen and Blaise became quieter too, and from a talk with Marieileen Sunday evening, Draco rarely spoke at all. Theodore kept pestering Shira to tell him why she was so quiet, she didn't tell him, but was surprised he didn't already know.

Monday came with the brightest weather so far that year. As Shira walked to breakfast with Theodore, she could hear the birds chirping and saw the yellow butterflies that signalled summer. Warm air filtered through open windows, but did nothing for the chill Shira felt in her heart. Finding a seat in the Great Hall, she looked up into the enchanted ceiling. It was as if the sun taunted her with its bright being.

Just then Draco came in with Marieileen, Pansy and Blaise. Shira noticed that he didn't look pained or anything. He was just the same, only his mouth was clamped shut and as she followed their conversation from the distance, she saw he refused to utter a sound and only nodded or gestured his hands.

More than ever Shira wanted to hold him tight. Every fibre of her being called out to him and she was afraid that if she didn't repress these feelings, everyone in the school would sense the intensity of them. Maybe Madam Pomfrey had more of that Calming Draught?

All through the day, half of the Slytherin house was subdued. Theodore had caught wind of what was going to happen that day, and tried his best to distract Shira. But after listening to his annoying attempts for nearly two hours in the common room after dinner, she told him to shut up and she retreated to the dorm.

It was quiet up there, no sound from outside reached her as she sat in the four-poster with the curtains drawn. Studying was easy in the silence, but it made her tired, and eventually she fell asleep on top of a Potions book.

"Shira? Are you here?" a voice woke her. The drapes around the bed opened and revealed the dim light. It was very late.

"Merlin, how long have I been sleeping?" she asked and stretched her aching neck.

"You expect me to know that?" Marieileen sat down and gathered all of Shira's books and parchments. "How are you feeling?"

"Uh, fine. Shouldn't I be?"

"I just... Well, with Draco's father and all that. You seem to take it harder than I thought you would."

"Well, I take it harder than _I_ thought I would too. How is he?"

"Silent, brooding, emotionless, the same old Draco." Marieileen shook her head at Draco's silliness.

"I hope he'll come through it all right. Sometimes I wish there was something I could do..." Shira put away the books Marieileen had stacked and leaned against the wall.

"You know there is something you could, something simple that would really make his day. Or month. Or life."

"Shut up," Shira said and pushed her best friend, making her fall down.

"It could be so simple," Marieileen said and picked herself up. "I'm going to bed, night."

"Good night." Shira looked at the magical clock on her bedside table, it was eleven. She doubted she'd be able to sleep now, but got ready anyhow as soon as Daphne was finished in the bathroom.

Sleep was impossible. Shira tossed and turned, but found no good position. She stared wide eyed into the ceiling, listening to the heavy breathing of her dorm mates. Every trick she knew couldn't help her now, so she decided to sit in the common room for a while, or sneak around in the castle.

Silently she crept out of the dorm and down the stairs. But as she passed through the common room towards the fireplace, something caught her eye. She stopped and walked over to a table with a copy of the Daily Prophet on it. She sat down and picked it up.

"'Special Evening Edition: Death Eaters' sentence has been fulfilled'," she read out loud to the empty room. Below the headline was a line of pictures, one of them was of Lucius Malfoy. That was what had caught her attention. He looked awful. His face was sunken, the skin clung to the scull and made him look 20 years older. His hair was greasy and dull. But the most horrible thing was his eyes... They looked completely empty. With a gasp, Shira realised that this picture was taken after the Kiss. A quick glance at the other Death Eaters told her that they too had this empty look in their eyes, their soulless eyes.

She forced herself to look away from the dreadful pictures. What a horrible thing to do! Publishing these pictures in the Daily Prophet! It was sick! She muttered a word so bad the lights seemed to flicker, and then she read the rest of the article. It was just as horrible as the pictures, not fair at all and the people close to the Dementors' victims had clearly not been taken into consideration when writing it.

Something that really stood out to Shira was a comment from one of the Aurors in charge of the whole ordeal. _No punishment is hard enough to make right what these people have done, but getting their souls sucked out is close enough. I have been assigned to guard the section of Azkaban were we store these... 'bodies'. I will not be miserable watching them waste away._

Red-hot anger flared up in Shira as she read this paragraph over and over. That filthy son of a- She threw the Prophet back onto the table and breathed deeply, clenching and unclenching her fists.

"This is all Potter's fault!" she called out the room. How she would love to get her hands on the filthy _Chosen One_. She'd strangle him, squeeze every bit of soul out of him with her bare fists. "Then we'll see how he likes it. And his precious followers will know how it feels to loose their leader," she whispered fiercely.

She suddenly had a crazy urge to run up to the boys' dorm and climb down into Draco's bed to hold him and let him know that everything would be fine. Her heart started beating faster at the thought, so she closed her eyes and forced the feelings to go away. As her heart got back to normal, she stomped up the stairs to her own dorm, imagining her feelings being crunched under her feat. The rest of the girls still slept soundly and the moment Shira's head hit the pillow she fell asleep and was haunted by dreams of Dementors, ghosts and Draco sitting in a cell in Azkaban with eyes just as empty as his father's.

---

Life at Hogwarts went on, despite the glum atmosphere among the Slytherins. The week leading up to the N.E. were insane with revising. There wasn't a moment to spare for any fun of any kind. And if Shira thought she had been running too much between the library and the common room before, it was nothing like now. In fact, she decided she might as well hang out in the library, she spent more time there during that week than she had in her entire academic career.

The N.E. started with Transfiguration on Monday. Shira was in the same group as Draco for the practical part, it made her just a bit more nervous, but it was all easier than she expected. The first Outstanding was hers, no doubt about it. There was nothing on Tuesday, so she spent the day memorising plants and herbs and their magical properties. It was fun, she studied with Pansy and Daphne, and finally got some time off from the constant presence of Theodore.

Wednesday came, and Shira was positive she'd do Outstanding in Herbology. The theory went perfectly well, and she felt confident working in front of the examiners in the hot Greenhouse. However, walking back from dinner, she wasn't so confident. She had been talking to Theodore about the practical part and was suddenly very uncertain. She decided she'd see through the books before she delivered them.

This evening she sat alone with Theodore. Marieileen and Pansy were studying for their Ancient Runes the next day and Shira really wanted to take a quiet evening. She was sick and tired of studying, especially when she found out she really had made a mistake in Herbology. It wasn't a huge mistake, she'd still pass, but it really annoyed her that she wouldn't get all Os.

"Can't you stop burying your nose in those books?" Theodore asked. "There is something I want to talk to you about."

"I'm not in the mood to talk tonight, Theodore," Shira said quietly, rising the book higher to avoid his gaze.

"You don't have to say anything, I'll do all the talking and you just listen and agree. You will like what I have to say." He tried to take the book away from her.

"I doubt it," she suddenly snapped, hurriedly collected everything belonging to the library and rushed out of the common room.

Sometimes there was something in Theodore's entire being that disgusted Shira to no end. How come she hadn't seen it before? It became more and more clear every day, thank Merlin there was only two and a half week left of school. Then she would be rid of both Theodore and Draco.

The library was almost full of fifth and seventh years, but it was so quiet it was unnerving. Shira quickly put the books down on Madam Pince's desk and left. It was getting late and the halls were deserted. But when she reached a corridor on the first floor, she saw a person standing at the end, Theodore. It looked like he had waited for her. Shira hesitated for a moment, she was too tired to deal with him again, but with no secret passageways close by she continued down the hall trying to ignore him. It was hard to do so when he walked deliberately towards her.

"Shira," he said sweetly as they reached each other. "A moment, please?"

"What do you want?" Shira asked rudely.

"I just thought, perhaps you have noticed that it's almost the end of Hogwarts for us?"

Shira stared stupidly at him. "No, really? I thought the N.E. were admittance tests for first years."

Theodore laughed lightly at that. "Do you remember the agreement we had?"

"I'm afraid I do." She had her arms crossed over her chest and was tapping the floor with her foot impatiently.

"Good." He took a step closer, towering over her. "And since you don't have a significant other at the moment, perhaps it's about time we did something about our little agreement."

"Theodore..." Shira started and sighed.

"Shira..." he said back and stepped even closer, just a couple of centimetres away from her.

She took one step back. "I'm pulling out of the deal," she said.

"You can't do that, we kissed on it."

"No, you kissed me because you were horny, and I kissed you back out of politeness until you tried to get inside my shirt."

Theodore smirked. "You seem to remember it pretty well, it is a long time ago. I didn't know I affected you that much."

"Don't flatter yourself, it's not because of the kiss or you in particular I remember it. It's because if was the biggest mistake of my life."

Suddenly Theodore grabbed her hands and got a hurt look in his eyes, but Shira didn't buy it. He pulled her closer and tried his best to look lovingly at her. "I just want you to be happy, Shira. And I know you will be happy with me, very happy, as we once were. No one can take better care of you than I. I can love you, I can satisfy you, I can give you a safe home, we will never be short of anything we need." As he talked, he carefully moved her towards the wall and now had her trapped. He whispered in her ear: "_I just want to make you happy._"

"Why won't you get it, Theodore?" Shira was getting angry now. "There was a reason we broke up; we just didn't fit together. And when I asked if you wanted to be my last resort, I was desperate. I'm not that desperate anymore.

With no warning at all, Theodore bent down and kissed her. Forced his lips onto hers, parting her lips with his tongue. And before Shira recovered from the shock, he broke it and pulled her into an embrace. "Don't tell me you didn't feel anything right now, don't tell me I can't make you happy," he whispered.

Shira managed to push him away. "If your sole purpose is to make me happy, Theodore, I will tell you exactly what will make me happy! I would be happy on the verge of euphoria if you stayed away from me and stopped with these silly attempts to make me your girlfriend!" she yelled at him.

"I know you don't mean that, Shira," Theodore responded as cockily as ever. "You're just afraid of you feelings for me."

"I'm afraid of how much trouble I will be in when I slice you up and serve you to the Gryffindorks!"

"Oh, I love your humour!" He laughed.

"Shut up!" Shira waved her hands to emphasize her words. "Just shut up and leave me alone!"

"I will not leave you alone." He was trapping her against the wall again. "Not until you admit how you feel about me!" He pushed her flat against the stone and tried to kiss her again. But out of nowhere, Draco came charging.

"Get your filthy hands off her, you bastard!" he yelled and grabbed Theodore's arm and practically threw him away from Shira. He stumbled down the hall, and before he could even stand straight, Draco was on him, pushing him violently in to the wall. But Theodore was quick and punched Draco right in the cheek.

Students began gathering, attracted by the noise, as Draco punched Theodore back. Everyone was cheering, probably hoping the two boys would kill each other. Shira walked back and forth looking the fight, too afraid to get between them.

Once again Draco managed to land a good punch in Theodore's stomach, making him groan and double over. Draco seized the opportunity and kicked Theodore so he fell flat on his ass. "You're not worthy of her, you piece of shit," he said viciously. It seemed like he wasn't saying this for the other boy to hear, or anyone else, it was as if he said it to himself. Shira frowned at this, then gasped as Theodore grabbed the foot Draco had launched for a deadly kick. He toppled over and almost hit his head on the stone floor had he not bent upwards in a sickening angle.

"Draco!" Shira cried out. He didn't react to her call, but rolled around, wringing his foot free, jumping to his feet and rushing towards Theodore who had also gotten to his feet.

"Oi! What's goin' on 'here?" a gruff voice came from down the hall. No one reacted as Theodore kicked out and hit Draco in the chest. While he gasped for air, Theodore rammed into him and they were locked with struggling arms and feet, trying desperately to hurt the other one as much as possible.

"Stop that fightin'!" the gruff voice said again and two large hands grabbed each boy by the shirt and pulled them apart. Hagrid looked between Draco and Theodore with an angry face. Shira now saw how hurt they both were. Theodore had the beginning of a black eye, and Draco was bleeding from a cut under his eye and breathing awkwardly. But there was a fury like no one had ever seen seething in his eyes as he glanced over at Theodore.

"What is the meaning of this?" Professor Slughorn was there too. Anger was something Shira had never seen on him and it certainly didn't make him look better. Most of the students backed away and left, but some remained to see the Slytherins' fate.

"_What is the meaning of this?_" Slughorn repeated. "Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Nott, explain yourselves!"

"It was just a little disagreement," Shira said before one of the boys made things worse.

"Are you a part of this too, Miss Lind?" Slughorn looked surprised and disappointed at her.

"No, not really..."

"We're fighting over her!" Theodore said as he dangled from Hagrid's hand and pointed accusingly at Shira.

"Boys fighting over a girl? I expected my students to be more mature than that, especially you, Miss Lind."

"I can _assure_ you, professor, I did not encourage any of this. I was watching my own business when these two dim-witted children started fighting." Shira refused to be a part of this, and to her relief Slughorn regarded her with what looked like pride.

"Hagrid, let them down," Slughorn said after a moment. "They should go to the Hospital Wing. Miss Lind, can I trust you to escort them there?"

"Yes, sir," Shira replied with a reassuring smile.

"I need to find Minerva, and then she and I will be up with you shortly to discuss your punishment. I am guessing there will be detention for all three at least."

At that Shira almost shouted for her own defence, but thought better of it.

"Go back to your studying," he waved at the other students who quickly retreated, "Hagrid, we will have to talk later, and Miss Lind, hurry up!"

Shira walked between Draco and Theodore. She could almost feel the tension between them, and took out her wand just to show them that she wasn't afraid to use it if they showed signs of wanting to punch each other again. But as they reached the second floor, Draco couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Did you really think you were going to win her over, Nott?"

"I already have, Malfoy," Theodore said with a disturbingly confident voice.

"Excuse me!" Shira interrupted. "I am not won over by anyone! And of you could please just stop this insanity?"

"Sorry," Draco said immediately.

"What was that, Malfoy? Apologising like a girl, I've never heard you do that before." Theodore smirked.

"You filthy piece of-" Draco launched himself across Shira and reached out for Theodore.

Shira whipped her wand through the air and yelled: "Protego!" Both boys were shoved apart and Shira looked at them with death in her eyes. "I can't believe you two! I really hope you both understand that I _do not_ want any of you! Especially when you're acting like this! And worse, a Muggle fight? Come on!" Both boys seemed to just remember they carried wands and moved to grab them. But Shira waved her own wand, making the protective bubble push them back and forth. "Don't even try! You both know I can disarm and stupefy you before you've thought of which curse to use! Now come on, you look like shit." She pushed them forwards with the Protego before it faded away.

Theodore was now walking a few paces ahead and Draco had fallen into step next to Shira. "He didn't hurt you before I came, did he?" Draco whispered.

Shira looked at him in amazement. "No," she answered. "I could have handled him myself you know."

"Yeah, I noticed that. Threatening to slice him up. How did you expect to get away with that? Especially after feeding him to the Gryffindorks?" His voice was playful.

"No one would miss him, so I don't think anyone would have cared," Shira replied, and couldn't keep the humour out of her own voice.

But suddenly Draco became serious. "I have been watching him for a while. I thought it was just a matter of time before he crossed a line he wasn't allowed to cross."

"What do you mean? Is this... Is this jealousy, Malfoy?" Shira was astonished. "We're not even together, and you're jealous?"

"No, no, I'm not jealous. I just think you deserve better than that scum." He bit down on the word. "He's an idiot, he wouldn't know how to treat you like you deserve."

Something inside Shira stirred as Draco talked. Her steps slowed down, so did his.

"And how can you know that?" she said, trying to keep down whatever was trying to surface within her.

"I _know_ you," he said simply. "I am the only one who know every way to make you feel... satisfied, the only one who knows you enough to do you right, in every meaning possible."

That was true, Shira thought. He knew every button to push, he knew her almost instinctively.

"You also know me, Shira." He stopped and looked at her. She stopped too. They had now reached the floor of the Hospital Wing. "No one knows me like that." They stood paralysed, staring into each others eyes. Theodore noticed that they weren't talking or walking anymore and turned to them. An ugly look crossed his face as he saw the way they were looking at each other.

Strange urges flowed through Shira and she shivered. She could she the same urges reflected in Draco's eyes. He closed the distance between them, and their lips met in a fierce kiss that made their blood boil. Draco moved them towards the wall. Pushing her into the rough stone surface, both remembering their first kiss.

The moment their lips were locked seemed to go on forever, but it was short. Both broke off at the same time and looked into green and blue eyes. Then they wordlessly hurried down the hall, past Theodore, and away from the Hospital Wing. Theodore saw a chance for saving his own ass and ran for it.

Shira and Draco hurried dazedly to seventh floor and found the Room of Requirement. It appeared as the same room it always was when the two of them used it, but neither of them noticed. The moment they stepped past the threshold they locked in a kiss again, hungry and warm. Hands were everywhere, never getting enough. They moved desperately around the room, not being able to stand still in their excitement.

A couch hopped into place when they both finally couldn't stand anymore, cushioning their fall. Draco was in ecstasy at having Shira's body so close again, his fingers trembled as they ran over all the familiar curves. Shira herself was completely lost, only sensing his tingling touch, the sweet taste of his lips and the intoxicating smell that made her feel giddy and light-headed.

All thoughts of detention and N.E. were gone as the two Slytherins found their way back to each other, taking full advantage of what the Room of Requirement could do. Shira patched Draco together from the fight. He talked about his father. She talked about her parents. And in between they enjoyed each other to the fullest, letting no time go to waste.

* * *

A/N

Well how about that? Together again! For now... Or forever?

First: Thanks to AMA for all the help she gives me, with the plot or just a word I need synonyms for. And thanks to everyone who answered my question about the fight on the forums:)

I've tried to make the part about the Kiss and Azkaban and all that sound a bit horrible. I'm not sure if I succeeded, but let me know what you think. And that fighting scene, have I succeeded in making it not confusing?

I have tried to write as much as I can in hopes of finishing the story before I go on holiday, but alas... At least you have a new chapter and the fastest update in... Well, I can't remember last time I updated so fast. It's been 16 days, I counted:) Since I read through and realised I could cut this chapter in the Room of Requirement, there's already 3 pages of the last chapter written. Expect another fast update a couple weeks after July 28.

So, any thoughts you want to share? I love reviews :)


	12. Dirty Platter

A/N

Warning: Character death, BYOT.

* * *

Shira and Draco didn't come back to the common room that evening, or night, or morning. In the hype of the exams, they had gone unnoticed to the Room of Requirement. This suited them perfectly, because they needed a lot of time to make up for what they had wasted. The Room of Requirement saw and heard many things that night, things that neither of the two would ever forget.

At lunch they appeared somewhat disoriented. Not one of their friends said anything about it as they sat down, said nothing about their absence on a day of an exam, or what happened to cause Theodore to rush into the common room with a black eye and blood in his mouth the previous night.

Marieileen and Shira's eyes met for a short moment across the table, then Marieileen's gaze dropped and a small smile appeared on her lips.

"So, how did you do in Ancient Runes today, Marieileen?" Shira asked casually.

"Oh, it went fine, perfectly fine. Lucky you didn't continue with Runes after the O., eh?" She wore an annoying smirk.

"Yeah, lucky," Shira muttered a bit embarrassed.

"What happened last night?" Pansy finally asked. "I mean, why was Theodore so hurt when he came back?"

"What? Are you saying he never went to the Hospital Wing?" Shira asked, locating Theodore down the table, and he didn't have any sign of a bruise on him.

"Oh no, he went to the Hospital Wing," Marieileen answered with an evil smile. "Madam Pomfrey barged in with Slughorn half an hour after Theodore came in. 'Where are they? Where are they?'" She imitated Pomfrey's voice perfectly. "Pomfrey looked absolutely mental. Some fifth year asked who she was talking about. 'Mr. Nott' she began and _everyone_ pointed towards the dorms. 'Mr. Malfoy' she continued and I said he'd left a short while earlier. 'And Miss Lind' she said shrilly. To that Pansy said you'd gone to the library an hour ago and hadn't come back yet. Then Pomfrey muttered something about 'teens' and 'hormones' and walked up to the dorms. She came down dragging Theodore behind her. He looked very embarrassed, his bruises really shone behind that furious blush."

"But what happened?" Pansy repeated her question.

"I'm guessing a fist-fight," Blaise pitched in, knowing how boys' mind work.

Draco nodded. "Too bad Hagrid came between us. I would have killed that filthy Nott once and for all."

"And?" Pansy said impatiently. "Anything else of interest that we can know about?" She leaned across the table, looking between Shira and Draco.

"_That_ is for Shira and me to know, and nothing for you all to think about," Draco said, leaned down and gave Shira a light kiss. His hand found hers under the table and he squeezed it, waking the raging butterflies in his girlfriend's stomach as well as his own.

"Ah, Miss Lind, Mr. Malfoy!" a voice said from behind. They whirled around to see Slughorn standing there, rocking on his heels with his hands folded. "How nice of you to finally join us. Could you both come with me, please!" Without waiting for an answer he headed for the doors.

Shira and Draco looked at each other, their friends, and then each other again. There was no other option than to follow Slughorn, who was now waiting patiently right outside the Great Hall.

---

Shira, Draco and Theodore got detention for the rest of the year, starting that weekend. Slughorn had said that they would serve the detention together to save the professors from extra stress during the exam time, but McGonagall had come in halfway through the meeting and said they had to be separated as much as possible. Hogwarts was no place for fighting, it was a place of learning, and these three students were in a position to cause trouble.

As much as Shira and Draco wanted to spend every minute together, and keep making up for all lost time, they were kept apart both in detentions and exams. The air between them was on fire, and they had no time to extinguish the desire. It was driving them mad.

The last week of exams was excruciatingly slow. Shira had no exam on Monday, Draco had Astronomy, taking up both the afternoon and the evening. Both were busy with an extremely difficult Defence N.E.W.T on Tuesday, Shira was positive she had messed it up, still not able to do the advanced Protego charm perfectly. But on Thursday, neither had any tests and the detention weren't until that evening.

The bright sun and the warm weather kept everyone out of the common room, even as early as after breakfast. Shira and Draco were also attracted by the summer outside and found a secluded spot far away from the lake, where most people enjoyed a cooling swim. They were completely lost to the world, and wouldn't notice it if the castle exploded. Shira knew she should be studying for Care of Magical Creatures, but Draco was just too damn tempting and a very welcome distraction.

Every sensation, every feeling, every little thing had come back to Shira when they first kissed after the fight. And every time they were alone together, it became stronger. At the moment the smell of warm grass swirled around her and a light breeze making stray hairs from her own and Draco's head tickle her face. He was buried in her neck, kissing it, working the spot he knew so well. Over and over again Shira moaned his name. Her hand was playing with the short hair on the back of his neck, while the other hand was clasped in his in a desperate grip.

Draco worked his way from Shira's neck, tracing her jaw line with tickling kisses, before lips found lips. It was fire. Every nerve in her body was overly sensitive, she felt the fabric against her skin, the grass tickling her exposed legs, his clothes and skin against her. He pressed her down harder into the soft ground, letting one hand reach down to the silky skin of her thigh. Nothing would ever feel as good as her smooth skin against his fingers. Their tongues danced together, moans drowning in each other.

Had it not been for the loud shout of some student, they would probably have gone all out there on the grass in the grounds. Draco's head shot up, both their eyes open in shock. They looked around, but thankfully no one had come to the other side of the trees. Sighing with relief Draco let his head fall onto Shira's chest. He felt her quiver with silent laughter, and had to laugh too.

"I can't get enough of you," he said after catching his breath, now lying next to her. "It's not healthy."

Shira turned her head, gazing at his profile and reached out a hand to trace the lines of his face. He shivered at the touch. She still loved him, with every fibre of her being. And she didn't care if he felt the same way or not, didn't care if he ever said it back, because he had wanted her back. He had begged and tried and succeeded. And it felt too good to care.

"I really should go inside and study for tomorrow," Shira said with a heavy sigh.

"No," Draco said turning to look at her. "You're not allowed. You have to stay here with me, and make out all day. I promise it's all you'll ever need." To emphasise his point, he leaned over and kissed her very lightly.

The tiny hint of determination she had to leave disappeared like a leaf in the wind. Strict examiners and future careers could not rouse her will to leave him alone in the grass. A smile spread across her lips as she closed the distance between them again.

---

There had been no studying for Shira that sunny day, but she still felt confident about her performance in Care of Magical Creatures. During the last weekend she hoped she could spend even more time with Draco outside in the sun, but Slughorn suddenly decided that they would work on detentions all day on Saturday and Sunday, only getting off to eat. 'It's your own fault for not going to the Hospital Wing like you should have,' he said. But both Draco and Shira agreed that all the detentions were worth it in the end, because they were together again.

In the last week of school they had three more, still working in separate rooms and on separate tasks. Theodore had been let off before the weekend, just because he hadn't disappeared completely on the night of the fight. It was still worth it for the two others.

On the last morning, Shira was the only girl left in the dorm. She was packing the last of her clothes and thinking about how bittersweet it was to leave. She had of course loved her time at Hogwarts, the learning, all her friends, the mockery of the other houses. But it'd be great to come home and break a seven year old habit. And it would be interesting to see where her relationship with Draco would go from home, if it went anywhere at all. She hoped it really would, that it would grow with their own growing responsibility and maturity. If she were to loose him again, someone needed to kill her.

"Are you ready?" Marieileen's voice suddenly came from the door.

Shira broke the trail of happy murderous thoughts and turned around to see her best friend with Pansy. "Yeah, let me just lock this damn thing," she said and slammed the lid on her trunk down. There was a sound as if something broke. "Oh, fuck," she said, shrugged and followed her friends down to the common room where Draco and Blaise waited for them.

"Happy to go home?" Draco whispered in Shira's ear.

"Incredibly," she whispered back and leaned into him as he put an arm around her, and they all walked up to the Entrance Hall and out on to the grounds to the carriages.

It was a quiet train ride home. The five friends shared a compartment, talking and relaxing, not paying attention to the scenery or what went on in the rest of the train. When the view outside changed to more civilized, and they pulled into King's Cross, Shira felt her heart beat faster. Finally she would see her parents again, see that they were in fact in good shape after the war like Marcus had promised. Nothing else mattered at the moment.

She stepped off the train, Draco right behind holding her hand. She scanned the crowd for the familiar faces. Her eyes found family, but not Ellyn and Delano, instead it was Marcus, his mother Lillian and Ellyn's sister Emmabell who came forward.

"What are you doing here?" she asked as she approached them. "Where are mother and father?"

Marcus stepped forwards, his face grave. At the same moment Draco stepped up behind Shira and held her hand tighter, feeling the shivers of dread already running through her. "Ellyn and Delano are... _gone_," Marcus said calmly.

"What?" Shira said with a slight smile, almost taking it as a cruel joke.

"Your parents have been prosecuted and executed by the Ministry."

Shira couldn't process what he said. She stood still like a living doll.

But Marcus stepped closer and put his hands on her shoulders. That action seemed to unfreeze his so-called sister.

"No!" she said. "You're lying!"

Marcus slowly shook his head. Behind him she could see Emmabell and Lillian's equally serious expressions, even Narcissa had come up to them looking sad. Shira began shivering and struggling for breath. All her fears from the past months rushed over her. Tears burst from her eyes, desperate sobs hurt in her throat, and she suddenly found herself locked between the two most important men in her life.

It had to be an unusual sight for everyone else on the platform to see Draco Malfoy and Marcus Flint both embracing the same sobbing girl. But neither cared who saw them, Shira was all that mattered. Draco stroked her hair and her arms, Marcus just held her tightly, letting her bury her face in his shirt.

The platform cleared slowly and the Hogwarts Express rolled away, but Emmabell, Lillian and Narcissa still stood around the three. It took a long while before Shira's sobs subsided. Marcus let her go when she showed signs of turning around to Draco. Marcus' shirt was wet with tears, he discreetly dried it with his wand.

"Someone should take you home, Shira." Narcissa came forward.

Shira nodded against Draco's warm neck.

"Shall I Apparate you?" Draco asked.

Shira nodded again, and felt her world go black. Moments later the smell of the familiar flowers around the front garden wafted past her nose. She let go of Draco and stared up at the huge manor. With distant pops the others arrived with the luggage.

Slowly, as in trance, Shira walked up the fine gravel and opened the door to the beautiful Lind Manor. She stepped in and heard the door close behind her. The hall was empty, only cream white walls and dark marble floor was left. With a gasp she realised it was just like her dreams. Only now she wasn't choking with anxiety. But she turned around looking at the empty walls and the doors. Her footsteps echoed through the hall, and her breathing was going faster and faster, the heartbeat echoing in her head. The she heard the scream from the latest dream, short and high-pitched. Now she recognised it as her mother's voice, calling out 'NO', desperate and full of angry fear. The anxiety crept over her and the full realisation that her parents would never walk through this room again hit her. Just like the dream Shira repeated the word 'no', louder and louder. She must have been screaming it herself, because a hand suddenly touched her shoulder. She spun around and saw only bright hair through her growing tears, but knew who it was. She fell into Draco's arms, finally crying from the loss instead of the shock.

It felt like the ground beneath her feet had been shaken thoroughly, and hadn't Draco held her straight she would have fallen down in a desperate heap. He let her cling to him, surprising himself in how supportive he could actually be. For her, it seemed he could do and be anything.

---

After things had calmed down, Shira came home with Draco and Narcissa. The adults figured it'd be better for her to stay somewhere else, and Emmabell asked if she wanted to stay with her or Marcus, but Shira didn't want to leave Draco. And he gladly Apparated her straight to his room, where she could relax and sleep out while he kept an eye on her.

The next morning, she didn't stir from her sleep when Draco woke up. Marcus came by to announce that Emmabell would take care of everything with the memorial. There could be no real funeral because the Ministry had destroyed the bodies in their plan to erase every reminder of Voldemort. Emmabell would also take care of everything else with the manor and other arrangements following, as the living part of Delano's family had turned out to be blood-traitors.

Shira did not leave Draco's bed the entire day, and he never left her side after Marcus had gone. Food was brought to the room, and Narcissa kept her distance. Draco told Shira about his meeting with her third cousin. For a couple of hours the sadness had been replaced by fury. The first thing she did after hearing the bodies were destroyed was to run to the fire and throw Floo powder in to it. Hadn't Draco snatched her away in time, she would have Flooed right to the Ministry and gotten herself destroyed too. So she was trapped in Draco's iron grip, muttering obscenities. The warm body against her own and the steady breathing against her back eventually calmed her down enough, so she could sit by herself, though still angry.

The next day they emerged from the room after a long bath and joined Narcissa for lunch. No one said much until the house elves cleared the table.

"There is something I have to tell you, Shira," Narcissa announced. "Something about your parents that your mother wanted me to tell you if anything should happen to them."

Shira looked at her wide-eyed.

"Let's go into the sitting room." Narcissa stood up, but suddenly paused. "Wait. I want to tell you about the most important thing your mother said first. She wanted you to know that you finally have both hers and Delano's full blessing to be with Draco. They're sorry that they were so against it to begin with, and they are glad that you have found someone you want to be with. As long as you're happy, they will be."

A slight smile crossed Shira's lips, Narcissa smiled too, and then she led the way to Shira's favourite room in the Malfoy Manor, apart from Draco's bedroom of course. Once inside the door, Draco reached for Shira's hand and squeezed it. She glanced at him, and the smile on his face told her exactly how happy he was to hear that her parents had finally given their blessing. Butterflies ran amok in Shira's stomach for a short second, before the seriousness killed them.

They all sat down, and Narcissa sighed. "I think... a week ago it must be now, your mother came to me and told me everything about her and your father and their work for the Dark Lord."

Shira already knew that her father had been a high ranked Death Eater and that Ellyn had been a supportive wife. Her parents never told her much about their work, or to what lengths her mother had gone through to support her husband, so Shira couldn't quite understand what more there was to know. But now she got it all served on a dirty platter. Draco sat next to her, one arm around her back and the other holding her hand in support. And the more Shira was told about her father's business and her mother's involvement, the harder she squeezed Draco's hand. He must have hurt, but never uttered a word.

Narcissa began speaking, starting with Delano's part. He had of course been one of high ranks, one of the few privileged Death Eaters that actually got some insight in what the Dark Lord's plans were, just like Lucius. If there ever was an important job the Dark Lord wanted to make sure was done absolutely right, he had Delano or Lucius do it. And Delano had always done an excellent job in hiding his true loyalties and the depth of them from the rest of the Wizarding World. Even some of the other Death Eaters didn't know what side he was on until the very end. But after the Order of the Phoenix and the Aurors and of course Harry Potter had defeated the Dark Lord, Delano became careless.

At this Shira thought back to New Years, when she had overheard the conversation between her parents. Her mother had accused her father of being a daredevil. Did that mission tip him over?

Right before the terrible day, Lord Voldemort had had a private meeting with his seven closest and most devoted men, and Ellyn. He had with great difficulty ordered that if, _if_, the Potter brat defeated him, Delano would lead this group of men and avenge their Lord. They were to hunt Potter down and take his life, and any other lives getting in the way. The seven faithful men proudly promised to do so.

This had been Delano's final downfall. Lord Voldemort was murdered and the seven men instantly Apparated to somewhere in Ireland to set the plan into motion. Apparently they had done pretty well, managed to map out Potter's habits and began stalking him. Somewhere along the line the Order found out, and a week before the end of Hogwarts Delano and his men were brutally caught and brought in for trial.

Narcissa paused in her story. "What happened after this, I can only guess. The day after they were caught was the day your mother came to see me. And that evening was when she was caught herself. I am pretty sure the Aurors force-fed your father Veritaserum. Your mother's story was bound to come out."

Shira nodded, tears beginning to form in her eyes again. Both from the sadness of the injustice and the anger for what the Ministry did.

"I am not going to tell you what I think happened with the whole persecution, because I know how the Ministry can be when they smell blood. But I know that your mother fought very hard when the Ministry came after her. That is why your entrance hall has been cleaned, she left it quite damaged."

Shira had to smile. She knew all about her mother's feisty nature, having inherited it herself.

Narcissa continued with Ellyn's part of the story. She had had the Dark Mark and was a true Death Eater, just as involved as Delano had been. Her tasks had been carried out in secret, and that had gone very well. Most of the tasks were background work and preparation for almost every mission. But what she had spent most time with was researching ancient magic, the Dark Lord had wanted to know as much as he could about the filthy magical protections Potter had been left with. This research made Ellyn travel around the world, being in constant danger. Meddling with that kind of magic without knowing exactly what you were doing, was really insane. But the Dark Lord's wish was her command.

On the night before the end, Ellyn had been summoned to give a report of her research. Then she was ordered to destroy every record of it she had if the impossible should happen, and if need be, get her memory modified.

"She had me do that," Narcissa said signalling the end of the story. "Modify her memory. Before she came here, she destroyed every physical evidence of her research. And then she begged me to erase what she had learned."

"How were you able to do that? Not knowing exactly what to modify?" Draco asked.

"It's not that difficult," Narcissa answered. "She put it all in the front of her mind, and I went in and took it away before I had the chance to see what it said. Afterwards she knew there was something the Dark Lord had asked her to erase, and understood why parts of her mind were blank."

They were quiet for a moment. Shira hadn't started crying, there was just a few lonely tears that slipped past her defences. She relaxed her hands, and noticed how hard she had squeezed Draco's hand.

"Draco, I'm sorry," she said quickly taking the red hand in both of hers to rub it better.

"Don't worry about it," he said calmly, but let her continue the gentle rubbing.

"How are you feeling about all this, Shira?" Narcissa asked.

Shira hesitated before answering. "What my father has been up to all these years wasn't really any surprise. So I'm okay with that. But my mother..." She sighed. "Surprise. I never knew she actually had the Dark Mark, and I can't understand how I haven't seen it before. But there are some things that make more sense now."

"I can imagine that. And now..." Narcissa paused. "I'm sorry to bring this up now, but... What are your plans? Do you want to go back to your manor or do you want to stay here? You know you can stay here as long as you want, days, weeks, years... And to be honest, I'd prefer it. You know all about that, that it's nice to have another female in the house."

She hadn't thought about that. She didn't want to go back home, and she'd love to stay with Draco and Narcissa, but was it safe for her and Draco to spend _that_ much time together now? It felt like they hadn't been apart, but it was still new. Marcus' parents would gladly take her in, even Marcus would allow her to crash at his place. She looked at Draco. He was staring at her with something new in his eyes. His lips moved, barely visible, 'stay' he mouthed.

That was it.

"Thank you, Narcissa, I would really like to stay here."

The biggest smile Shira had ever seen crossed Narcissa's face. She couldn't help smiling too, in spite of everything.

"The house elves will answer your call and follow your orders as if you were a Malfoy. So call them for whatever you need, and if you want your own room, just call them, and they'll fix the room you were supposed to have during Easter."

Both Shira and Draco had the sense to blush at that. Of course Narcissa had figured out that the guestroom hadn't been used that week.

"But I have no objections to you two sharing a room." There was a playful sparkle in Narcissa's eyes. "I'll leave you alone now." She stood up, gave Shira a quick hug and left. But she stopped at the doorway to look back at her son pulling his girlfriend close and gently kissing her hair. They both smiled, a bit sadly, but they smiled. Narcissa did too and carefully closed the door behind her.

She retreated to her private sitting room, thinking. The two kids had made the right choice in choosing each other. Narcissa had seen it from the very beginning, Shira was everything Draco needed, Draco was everything Shira needed. Their little rough patch had not gone by unnoticed, she didn't know how serious it had been, but now everything was right again. Her little boy had grown up and had found his woman.

Old memories filled Narcissa as she sat looking around the room. This room had been Lucius' too, and it still smelled of him, reminded her of him. She remembered her own teenage years, how Lucius had wooed her. Their families had been ecstatic at the union. But not as ecstatic as Narcissa herself. She'd never imagined love to be as good as that.

Tears began to slowly run down her cheeks and her smiling face. She had lost her husband, first his soul and then his body, but he never left her heart. True love was magnificent, it was the poison that consumed you, and yet, the antidote to everything else.

* * *

A/N

So officially, this is the end. And I have nothing more to say until I post the epilogue, except for this: I am so sad that I didn't get to write anymore hot scenes between Draco and Shira!! GAH! I could probably have squeezed some in, but that would just make the chapter strange and confusing. So that scene in the beginning is the last you'll get from this couple. So sad, I really enjoy writing them....

Review? I'd love your thoughts on the officially last chapter... :)

Oh, and the epilogue will be out in two-three days, depends on how long I can contain myself.


	13. Epilogue

Elanor and Lukas walked through the doors of their parents' mansion with Pansy Flint. She and her husband, Marcus, had been the ones to pick them up at King's Cross that evening, not their parents. But Elanor and Lukas understood why. The last day of Hogwarts fell on a very special day this year.

Twenty-one years ago the summer had been one long celebration in the Magical World. The terror of Lord Voldemort had come to an end, the Dark Lord had fallen by the hands of Harry Potter. Each day had been a celebration, for months the cheers and laughter could be heard wherever you went.

But there were also those who grieved in silence, those who cursed the day Potter was born. These people had lost their great leader, and after the downfall had to keep their sorrow hidden if they wanted to live. The Ministry was on a rampage, working hard to erase every reminder of the Dark Lord's presence in the Magical World. Elanor and Lukas' parents were a part of the group that grieved in silence. But they grieved not only for their lost leader, they had lost people close to them. Their mother lost both her parents to vengeful Aurors just days before she left Hogwarts for good. Their father lost his own father, their grandmother's husband, to the Dementors a short time after Voldemort's fall.

This year, Hogwarts ended on the exact same date and day as it did all those years ago.

Pansy gave each child a nod, telling them to be good, and then went out the door. A faint pop sounded as the door closed behind her. Elanor and Lukas called a house-elf to take care of the trunks and went to find their parents. And in the garden they were, Shira and Draco Malfoy, and Narcissa Malfoy, standing in front of a beautiful white marble monument. Back when the Ministry purged the world of Voldemort's supporters, they destroyed the bodies of the convicted Death Eaters, so the Malfoys could not have a proper funeral or say a proper goodbye.

Elanor and Lukas found their place on each side of the trio. Draco and Shira acknowledged their presence, and Narcissa pulled Elanor closer, embracing her. They all had agreed to meet here, when the children got home. So they stood in silence for a couple of minutes, before they went inside, to the sitting room that Shira had come to love from the very first Christmas she and Draco was together.

"How did your exams go?" Draco asked as they settled with Butterbeer and Firewhiskey.

"Excellent," Elanor answered confidently. "I was all too easy."

Lukas raised one eyebrow, looking at his older sister disbelievingly. "Easy? I seem to remember someone sitting in the darkest corner of the common room, flipping through books desperately and getting paper cuts on every finger."

Elanor discreetly folded her hands so no one would see.

"And I suppose you weren't nervous at all?" Narcissa asked her grandson.

"Of course not," he said calmly. "I wish they allowed students like me to skip a few years."

"You just wait, Lukas. Unless they've gone soft since my own school time, you're in for some nervous studying yourself," Shira said.

Her son only shrugged and smirked. She sighed at his faith in himself, he was exactly like his father. But of course, Draco had gotten very good results on his O. and N.E. and every other exam. And because Hermione Granger had skipped the end of her education, he had finally been the best of his year. With Shira close behind of course. She didn't get her six Outstandings as planned, but three. The three others were Exceeds Expectations. But it had been enough to get her into the Beast Division at the Ministry.

The conversation held onto the subject of Hogwarts and what the kids had been up to during the year. Lukas had been accepted on to the Slytherin Quidditch team, not as a Seeker, but as a Keeper. He wasn't the best player yet, so it probably helped that his father was the star of the Falmouth Falcons. Elanor didn't want to say so much about her own year, and judging by the teasing looks Lukas sent her and the small blush that crept up her neck whenever she was asked, Shira was sure it was because of a boy.

As the others were captivated by Lukas' animated retell of the Quidditch Cup Finals, where Slytherin beat Gryffindor, Shira leaned closer to her daughter. "Have you ever heard about the Room of Requirement?" she asked quietly.

Elanor made a vague gesture. "Only in passing. I think I heard some Gryffindorks mention something that sounded like that once."

A playful smirk passed Shira's face quickly, and she told her daughter where the room was and how to get in it. And most importantly, what it could do. "But use it with care. Don't show it to anyone you don't trust completely."

"I won't," Elanor said honestly. "What did you use it for, mother?"

Again a smirk crossed Shira's face.

"Or do I not want to know?" Elanor said quickly.

Shira laughed a little, and then considered her answer for a moment. "It was in that room Potter trained his little army, and your father was a part of the group that finally managed to put a stopper to it. And then he used it for his mission for the Dark Lord in our sixth year. But in our seventh year, Draco showed it to me." Shira paused, thinking back to the storming days of teenage hormones. "Your father and I have great memories from that room."

"And that's all I need to know," Elanor said cringing.

"What are you two talking about?" Draco asked humorously when he noticed Elanor's grimace and Shira's smile.

"Nothing," Shira answered quickly, too quickly. "Nothing at all." But as Draco looked into her eyes, he thought he knew what it was.

The understanding between the two had grown immensely over the years. During the difficult first year after Hogwarts they had really gotten close, supporting each other during the trials and interrogations. Draco had to work hard to prove his "innocence" and the right to live. Shira hadn't had to work so hard, thanks to her parents for keeping most of their work from her. It all took a lot out of them, but they got so much closer to each other in return.

And during that year, Shira realised something she should have seen earlier, that Draco had loved her all along, just like she loved him. If she'd actually _seen_ him earlier, they would never have fought, never broken up, never lost any time. Because Draco never uttered a word about his feelings to anyone, not the feelings he actually meant. Not even now, after twenty-one years, had he said 'I love you' directly to her. But his actions spoke so much louder. Had she only seen that earlier, they'd never had problems. And this was something Shira could never forgive herself for, not _seeing_ Draco's feelings. What if she had been too stubborn to get back together with him? She'd probably be in a miserable marriage by now, with children out of control.

"Mother? Mother?"

"What?" Shira snapped out of her thoughts and turned to Lukas.

He frowned slightly, but repeated his question. "Are we going to father's game next weekend?"

"Yes, of course!" Shira answered. "Why shouldn't we? It's the last game of the season, your father would never forgive us if we didn't go to cheer for him, and neither would your uncle Marcus."

Lukas smiled, once again he reminded her of his father. There was so much Malfoy in him it was unbearable at times. Thankfully Elanor had gotten only a moderate dose, with a healthy sprinkle of both Narcissa and Ellyn.

"But now, it's very late, and we've got to be awake for the brunch with the Zabinis and the Flints tomorrow," Narcissa said and stood up, still graceful and beautiful. "Come on, Elanor and Lukas, follow your grandmother upstairs."

Both children got up at once and took Narcissa's hands. "Goodnight mother, goodnight father," Lukas said.

"Goodnight," Elanor said, and sent a small smile in direction of her mother.

"Goodnight," Draco and Shira said in unison.

"What was that about?" Draco asked as they too stood up to go to bed.

"What was what about?" Shira asked innocently.

"That little smile of Elanor's. Was it about what you talked about earlier, the thing that made her grimace like that?" Draco snaked his arm around his wife's waist.

"Nox," Shira said and waved her wand at the room, extinguishing the lights. "Yes, it was about what we talked about earlier." She smiled playfully. "I told her about the Room of Requirement, because I think she has a boyfriend. There's at least someone who has caught her interest."

Draco sighed as they now entered their bedroom, the same as when Shira unofficially moved in after her parents' death. "She should be careful about who she finds interesting. You can't trust anyone anymore, not even a Slytherin."

"I know, but I'm confident she would choose wisely in the end. We have taught her that much about the world."

"I hope so," Draco muttered as Shira walked into the joined bathroom.

She quickly got ready, but did not go to bed when Draco got into the bathroom. Instead she walked out on the balcony, to take in the last warmth of the day. But it turned out to be pretty cold, the summer had not taken a hold on the world yet. She shivered and wrapped her sleeping robe tighter around her body. Suddenly Draco was behind her and rubbed her arms, trying to give her some warmth. She leaned into him, and he wrapped his arms around her instead. That was more efficient.

She leaned her head back to his ear. "I love you," she whispered.

He responded by turning his head and kissing her. Short, fiercely, hungry and full of love.

* * *

A/N

And that was the end to the series. It feels so good to be done, but still sad, because I'm going to miss writing about Shira. But the best of all is that I can take a break and nurse my poor neck, I've got another inflammation… When that's better, I will work on the plot for my new story idea:) I've set the deadline for posting the first chapter to December. Hopefully that will give me enough time, and I can manage to surprise myself by posting sooner! I will also start some serious work on the Tekken fic I've had lying around, so if anyone's interested it that, check my blog (link in forum sig) for info and find me on FF when it's out.

The Thanks:

A huge thanks to all my consistent reviewers: elle_silver, MonoxideLullaby on HPFF and felicitousmomento, xo.A.m.o.r.e.t.t. and Astoria Malfoy on FF net.

And thanks again to elle_silver for all the fun chats we've had on MSN, may they never end! And of course, thanks for helping me name Lukas. She didn't know who she was naming, just that he was a part of the story:)

And thanks to mandamedieval on FF net! She came late in the series, but her reviews since then have either cracked me up, made me really happy or just so thankful!

Thanks to everyone else who left reviews here and there, everyone who added me and my stories as favourites and everyone who just read and enjoyed!

But most of all, thanks to my friend Ann-Marie. She helped me through most of my writer blocks and gave me some amazing ideas for certain parts of the plot. You should all give her an applause, if not for her the Shira Lind twology might have been abandoned.

I love all of you, and I hope you will like my future stories!

If there's anyone I've forgot to thank, THANK YOU! And if you want to know how updates and stories are coming along, I once again refer to my blog, the link is in my profile...

And that's all for now!


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